Miscarriage/Baby Loss

Status
Thread locked. We start a new thread when they have over 1000 posts, click the blue button to see all threads for this topic and find the latest open thread.
1
I went through my miscarriage at home and in the leaflet the unit gave me said you could catch it in something. I was also advised that surgical carried a small risk of causing damage to reproductive organs but was very minimal.

I personally didn’t keep mine but it is a nice idea to commemorate her 🩷 I just have the positive test from that pregnancy.

You can also register the loss with the government and receive a pregnancy loss certificate too, I’ve toyed with the idea of this but haven’t done it.
 
I also conceived about 5 months after my surgical management and they didn’t mention any risks like that to me - obviously if something went really wrong with the surgery then yes (there is something called Asherman’s syndrome) but it’s very low risk.
 
Elisha97 said:
It can lead to scarring but it isn’t likely- I conceived again 3 months later and I have a whole host of fertility issues and was just about to start the IVF route

Do what you feel is right- I don’t think wanting to see her is weird at all. Some people I know placed their babies in plant pots or under rose bushes. I personally went for cremation- it’s awful to phrase it this way, but hospitals do bulk cremations of babies lost at this gestation and our local one took care of this and did a memorial service. It sounds horrible but they do it very sensitively and in a dignified way and I like to think of it as all the loved and wanted babies being together.. they scattered the ashes of our little one in a local cemetery by a memorial so we have somewhere to visit if we wanted. Some funeral directors will also do private cremations but (I hate writing this) not every one will as you get very little by way of ashes back as the baby is so tiny
Click to expand...
I loved your answer so much! Unfortunately I live in an EU country and I don't think I can bring myself to Google translate and try to ask for that service right now. I could ask my local crem back home, we go by car so it's not like I'd freak out the airport security 😂.
My local graveyard does a candle light evening of remembrance, that's coming up soon.
My brother used to clean the hospital, he was very popular on the children's ward and loved entertaining the kids. When he died in a car crash, they had to break the news to some of the long stay kids as they kept asking for him. I don't know how "spiritual" everyone is but at a psychic reading, out of nowhere, we were told he had a "job" and the job was caring for the kids that didn't have anyone. As this matched with his personality from life, I'm inclined to believe it. Maybe that's of some comfort to someone out there.
 
Jaybob said:
I loved your answer so much! Unfortunately I live in an EU country and I don't think I can bring myself to Google translate and try to ask for that service right now. I could ask my local crem back home, we go by car so it's not like I'd freak out the airport security 😂.
My local graveyard does a candle light evening of remembrance, that's coming up soon.
My brother used to clean the hospital, he was very popular on the children's ward and loved entertaining the kids. When he died in a car crash, they had to break the news to some of the long stay kids as they kept asking for him. I don't know how "spiritual" everyone is but at a psychic reading, out of nowhere, we were told he had a "job" and the job was caring for the kids that didn't have anyone. As this matched with his personality from life, I'm inclined to believe it. Maybe that's of some comfort to someone out there.
Click to expand...

I get that 🩷

Luckily our hospital offered the service to us which really helped as mentally and physically I was just a mess and I don’t think I could have brought myself to arrange anything

Your local crem might do it, again I hate to be too triggering to anyone reading, but especially if you had keepsakes or blankets you wanted to give too to increase the amount of ashes available. Part of me does wish I did this but at the time the hospital organised cremation was the kindest thing for us to do

That’s really nice about your brother 🩷 I was never very spiritual but since having a few losses in my life and some weird coincidences I do feel like there is something to it and our loved ones are still around
 
With my MC I was only 6 weeks but I was completely unaware that I will actually pass the sac. I found it on my pad and it took me quite a long time to realise this was actually “it”. It was only a size of a thumb and I picked it up and looked at it for a while, showed it to my husband (who completely freaked out) and took a photo, then I flushed it. I felt really guilty after but it really caught me off guard, mine started naturally and it all happened so quickly so I didn’t expect it at all so wish I could react better. I love the idea of putting it under a flower or a bush.

I’m sorry for your loss. :(
 
sushimama said:
With my MC I was only 6 weeks but I was completely unaware that I will actually pass the sac. I found it on my pad and it took me quite a long time to realise this was actually “it”. It was only a size of a thumb and I picked it up and looked at it for a while, showed it to my husband (who completely freaked out) and took a photo, then I flushed it. I felt really guilty after but it really caught me off guard, mine started naturally and it all happened so quickly so I didn’t expect it at all so wish I could react better. I love the idea of putting it under a flower or a bush.

I’m sorry for your loss. :(
Click to expand...
I'm so sorry for you too, it must have been such a shock. I honestly thought I'd have my baby, I didn't realise until I googled it again yesterday that her chances were only 20-40%.

I'm sure I also read that if you put the baby in a jar of water, it'll look like it did in the womb (something about looking a better colour too). I'm not properly bleeding yet, so I'm going to try to get a nice soft fluffy teddy and prepare the jar. I figured the toy would be a comfort for me during the process and I'll put it in a little memory box with the scan pictures. I might try to get a little pot rose bush, or use the one I already have in the garden. Thanks to everyone who has answered, you've all been a huge help, I'm so grateful and I'm so sorry we're all on this thread ☹️
 
Status
Thread locked. We start a new thread when they have over 1000 posts, click the blue button to see all threads for this topic and find the latest open thread.
Back
Top