Hey everyone. I'm a longtime lurker of the threads. I've been following Marcus since his Sam Smith meme - I gotta admit, he did used to make some corkers!
I just need to rant a little bit before I explode. Basically, I'm a little tired (hence the name) of seeing him let his grief eat at him. I've tried to be kind and understanding, but my patience is thin because he won't do anything to help himself - even getting a hobby to amuse himself would be a step forward at this point but that's too much effort! I understand depression, I've got it so I know how numb it can make you feel, but if you don't let people help you or make any effort (even something small like forcing yourself to shower and brush your teeth) then it's never going to improve.
I lost my father (64) unexpectedly in September. There was no sign of it happening. His heart gave out overnight and I woke up to a phonecall from his wife saying he was gone. It took me 3 days to even cry because I felt nothing from the shock of it all, but enough about that. I just wanted to set the scene as to why I'm frustrated because then obviously everything happened with SG and after one of his many cries for help on Instagram, I messaged him. It takes a lot for me to do that because my anxiety makes me second guess almost any choice I make, but I thought if anyone could understand the shock of loss at that point in time then I'd be a pretty good one.
It was a couple of months ago now so I can't remember my exact words but I said about losing my dad, which I hated talking about to a stranger, and how he shouldn't let the loss eat him up, that he needed to talk to someone if it was getting this difficult, and that getting a hobby or just even going for walks would help to take his mind off things a little.
Of course, because I haven't got a blue tick next to my name it didn't get a response or even an acknowledgement, and now watching him beg for money (even judging people for only sending a couple of quid at this point - £2.01!) is just my point of explosion. My sympathy is limited until he shows that he's actually going to help himself now. I feel sorry for SG and his family because I can't imagine the dark place he must have been in and how hard it's been for the family, especially his daughter, to get themselves back together again.
I'm just incredibly bleeping tired. It's getting hard to watch and I just hope someone can make him see sense before he does permanent damage and can't turn back.