Look, this might be unpopular, but I actually think it is perfectly okay for women to want to share their positive birth stories, and I strongly feel that it is unfair to suggest that a woman cannot do so for fear of upsetting someone else who had a traumatic experience. I am absolutely on board with content and/or trigger warnings, so that people can choose to avoid content that is triggering or upsetting for them. Of course we shouldnât go around sharing our stories with others at random and without permission. However, many people enjoy listening to positive birth stories. I especially loved them prior to having my first child, and I still love listening to podcasts like Australian Birth Stories. Some will find them indulgent and thatâs fine, but they have a place.
Many, many women have positive birth experiences and I donât see why everything must be doom and gloom about birth. That leads to unnecessary fear and worry for new mums. I completely agree that Jessie warrants criticism for inflating the length of her labour etc, but if she or any other mum feels like they would relive their birth experience, that doesnât take away from another personâs traumatic experience and their right to grieve that. Lots of women love pregnancy â but for me it is horrendous, endless nausea and vomiting with not a second of relief until the placenta is out. Iâm not going to go around saying other women canât share that they enjoyed their pregnancies, just because I have feelings of deep sadness around my own experiences. So Iâm not sure why I canât say that Iâd happily give birth over again, because that has been the good part for me. Iâve had women who judged me for needing anti-emetics to survive pregnancy get up in arms and tell me I was silly for not having pain relief in labour.
I think the real issues arise where we donât acknowledge that we have been fortunate in a certain domain and that others arenât less successful etc because theyâve struggled. Thatâs probably more the issue with Jessie than her having a positive birth story.