Vlog - Thursday 02.07.20 (Late but Lydia has no concept of time. Or reality).
- 2 seconds in and I want to drop kick her. The baby voice to Lumi is unbearable. Now Ali is starting to use a baby voice. I want to drop kick him too. I'm not a violent person by any means, but I've hit the point that I definitely would, although I wouldn't want to catch stupid.
- It's sunny outside so she wants to get all ready - a full tan, full makeup 'for the pea'. Not actually sure of the logic behind this in an actual heatwave, but I guess you're never too old to learn something stupid.
- She wants to try St Tropez's extra dark tan next. She acknowledges 'the way she does her tan she has it nailed'. I mean Jesus got nailed to the cross. And that didn't end well either. She uses different tans for different outfits. She's literally erratic. Over a million sperm and you was the first to hit the egg Lydia?
- She finds it easy to talk about things she loves. That'll explain why there was only one fleeting mention of Glóby tanning tit-kit in a 30 minute vlog. On fake tan. That makes sense. You've got the marketing skills of a crayon Lydia.
- Her in a bikini is just for 'our viewing pleasure'. This along with her highlighting her feet are gross right now. I take no pleasure in gauging my eyes out Lydia.
- St Tropez packaging is recyclable did you know? Tell me again about Glóby packaging Lydia? I can't quite read the composition on your website.
- Her one daily task is painting cardboard. They're all white. Standard. Ali's daily fifty-seven tasks are doing more flowerbeds and putting up lights. Ken is coming back. She states he's allowed her to 'smash his balls'. Ali must be thanking his lucky stars that his balls are getting a day off.
- She's taken a few days off as she was not feeling well. So unwell she didn't even fake tan. All that amazing feedback must have really got to you Lydia? Seems like you had a case of being a lil witch.
- She shouldn't be vlogging as she has 2 virtual appointments but she's fitting us in. A whole 2 appointments. Definition of girl boss right there. Or not.
- More St Tropez. She looks orange but she highlights it looks darker in real life. You're meant to leave it on for 3 hours for the darkest tan. She leaves it on for 8 hours. I'm not going to insult you Lydia, I won’t do as good a job as nature *sorry fake tan.
- St Tropez have a 1/3rd off at Boots currently. Laters Cult Beauty. It's a good job really, her first 500 *59 customers who received a free sample currently only have one tanned leg and one tanned arm so need this discount. Pronto.
- She was going to buy the courtyard limestone flooring but 'they ended up working with us'. After beg #57. Freebies can't buy happiness, but it sure makes living with misery easier, hey Lydia?
- Her Wisteria are living their best life. One isn't thriving though. She's cheering the underdog on. Us too Lydia. We even made Ali his own thread.