I haven’t watched the full thing yet, but I felt really uncomfortable in the first few minutes because every single time she’d start to say some behaviour she had around alcohol that was a bit worrying, she would immediately then downplay it or moderate it in some way to make it not that big a deal or as though it might have been inconvenient but not really that bad.
So my first thought was, this girl is in denial.
After a while though she started to say some more details without qualifiers and those details were very interesting. I think perhaps she still kind of thinks she was in the realm of ‘normal’, but the things she mentioned definitely sound like she is an alcoholic. It’s concerning and yes it’s great that she is now 6 months sober. That’s a big accomplishment for her and she should celebrate it. However, it also sounds like she doesn’t realize yet the seriousness of her problem— but maybe she does and just doesn’t want to share it? But she kinda sounds like people when they are still in the stages of, ‘I’m just doing this to show that I can, really the best part is that I’m saving money, and who knows I might drink again’. Her saying that is a function of her addiction.
The point of deciding to be sober is to decide to be sober. It’s much more comforting to think that you could drink again SOME day (and reassure everyone by making it seem as though you’re only thinking faaaar in the future). But if you say that, you get to believe yourself that this could be temporary so it’s not that bad and also you don’t have to face the truth of it— that you cannot drink because you’re an alcoholic and aren’t able to drink normally and this pretty much doesn’t just change once you’ve just been ‘sober’ for a couple years. I feel she also says this so that she can be seen drinking socially again and people won’t say anything because she has already been sure to state that it’s not a set thing.
Anyway, it is definitely difficult and relapses are extremely common so I don’t really know what she will be saying a year from now. I hope she stays healthy and sober but I have a feeling she has more ‘realizations’ to make about her drinking and could perhaps be in an early stage of trying to quit temporarily. But it is a mental illness and I wish her the best in navigating it.
I will say, she looks way better having given up alcohol, and I don’t mean weight either. For years she has looked kinda bleary, depressed, and tired… she has a brightness to her eyes again and her skin looks better, she seems sharper and more at ease and that comes through in her appearance.