Lorna Luxe #46 5ft and a fag end

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sudella said:
I’m not sure this link will work, but do you think this is the luxe’s 😆😆.

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It’s looking like a yes from the comments! 🐎
 

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AllAboutTheMayhem said:
November was a good month for Lorna. It was all about her. Her favourite kind of month.

She’s now fully immersed in concrete car park living & the Ghost House was featured on a tele programme with Abbey Clancy. Shag only knows how Lorna was invited to participate in the programme alongside other women who possess taste, style and class. We can only assume it’s something to do with current bestie-super-sketcher Charley. He seems to have fingers in many an influencer pie.
Highlights of the show ( aside from AC’s repulsion) were Lorna’s lack of chin, her natural size, that ridiculous absolutely bleeping gigantic blazer, the thoroughly awful flammable pink sofa covers, and the foetid green mould growing up the stairs. Her hair looked horrific. A family of Pygmy’s might even have been living in those manky extensions.

There is perfume on display in the cinema room giving Amsterdam knocking shop vibes. The floors look like they’ve been lifted from a public pissoir and the bathroom seems only to be missing a glory hole.
There was erratic dropping of the h’s to seem relatable. ( didn’t work).
Summary, The Ghost House is a soulless, random box in suburbia. A brutal embarrassment that’s nothing but an ego trip.

John has been dressing up in her WOS clothes. Weird for anyone, let alone a geriatric.

In happier news, John was given the “All clear” in early November after his treatment.

Lorna strung people along for engagement and talked about “ scanxiety” recognising this as something to monetise, an opportunity to sell sell sell, segueing from cancer to affiliate links in 15 seconds flat. No sooner had he been given the all clear, she was back to making it all about Lorna and promptly dragged him off to shoot some WOS tit.

All aboard the Ali-G express to Paris!

The full compliment of cling-ons were in attendance, the gakked up gays , Jeffrey Dahmer and Billie Piper, all of whom were sniffing ket in an apartment courtesy of WOS.

The Luxes stayed in the Ritz. Obvs.
Lorna wore an Uber chavvy Dior anorak .. bread crumbing for what was later to come…



We have learned from the WOS launches (which seemingly happen most weeks) is that she’s doing exactly what she did at ITS. Except now she’s charging obscene amounts for a “cashmere blend” ( mainly acrylic) and 100% poly-sparkly tit that no one will EVER wear twice.

The TITS particularly loved WOS pre-warning the consumer as to how tit the clothes are by way of the descriptive top tip: “use a bobble to refresh your Delphine joggers" ( Aka - these expensive joggers ARE going to bobble, you absolute twats! But buy them anyways!)

No sooner were they back from Paris, they headed to the Maldives for 2 whole weeks but Lorna had to pretend it was 3. Week 1 was at the Ritz Carlton Maldives and week 2 was somewhere they’ve been before. It rained most of the time they were there, so Lorna recycled the same images day in day out.

They did have some fun though, as they met up with some great friends whilst at the Ritz Carlton Maldives. Memory Chasers extraordinaire- Trevor and Simon.

They appear to be 2 Middle Aged swingers living out some weird fantasy “ travel blogger” lifestyle, whilst in reality they look more suited to the sticky floors of the local WMC.

Lorna decided to tell the world about Johns unfortunate gastric issues that he experienced for 2 hours on the flight which was completely unnecessary, but useful when flogging the WOS DIOR RIP OFF kagool ! Wow. Who saw that coming?
She modelled a Gucci nightie on the beach as she did exactly 2 years before. And she wrote the same text about not coming this far to come this far.

She also pretended she was 6ft a few times and got a little bit rosé-happy with the leg stretching capability on FaceApp.

She wore a black dress on the beach and posed like an absolute CLOWN.

Then it was announced very suddenly that John had received an urgent call from his surgeon after a recent scan. Followed by SILENCE.

Queen Baby, the master of manipulation.

Turns out it wasn’t such bad news after all- but John will require further surgery for which Lorna will almost definitely deserve another holiday and a few more handbags.

WOS candles have been handed out to all and sundry, but there are plenty left if you want to spank £45 on a candle that has the rancid stench of damp, concrete , cigarettes and fake tan.

So the Luxes are back in the Ghost House hankering down for Xmas , rapidly approaching Lorna’s yearly week of manic depression. We might also expect comedic sketches about the movement of baubles, oversized turkeys and a billion affiliate ad links for gifts she’s definitely not buying, for friends she absolutely doesn’t have. There will also be a Xmas trip to SohoFarmhouse
And last but not least… the Chanel handbag giveaway is back..Lorna Luxe. Buying followers with fake giveaways since 2018.



Happy Christmas everyone.
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Brilliant round up👏 thank you 🤩
 
Christmas Eve and she’s still flogging .. it was so warm today I turned my heating off . Can’t say I ever wear a scarf indoors . Then Again I don’t live in a concrete bunker ..wheres her Mum and the dog with numerous names ?
Oh and dong get me started on the jewellry post .. Has Nicole not been sending gifts ???
 

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Ohmydays said:
Christmas Eve and she’s still flogging .. it was so warm today I turned my heating off . Can’t say I ever wear a scarf indoors . Then Again I don’t live in a concrete bunker ..wheres her Mum and the dog with numerous names ?
Oh and dong get me started on the jewellry post .. Has Nicole not been sending gifts ???
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Trying to convince us the place is warm, with 10 layers and scarf, yeah we believe you.

Where’s the beige buffet food? She’ll go awol now for days, the giveaway will be a tiny one liner for someone who‘ll never receive it.

She sits on a Throne of Lies

Happy Christmas TiTs 😂
 
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