Liz Jones #2 Nobody puts the Myla Thong in a corner!

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She’s taken to wearing a trowel full of makeup of late, the pic from the astrology article as an example. I think she’s channelling Gloria Swanson in Sunset Boulevard personally?
You’d think the stylists and hairdressers would give her some advice but she probably studiously ignores it.
 
OMG, Liz's protagonist in the new novel is a scientist. No doubt so she can poison Not!David and Not!GFW without leaving a trace. This is going to be horrific to read given Liz's aversion to doing even the most basic of research for a novel. As evidenced by Eight and a Half Stone where the protagonist goes from well over a size 22, to eight and a half stone (so that could be 10st or more loss) by having liposuction and a "tummy tuck." Liz didn't even do a quick enough Google to realise that if you have that much weight to lose, you need a gastric band/bypass/sleeve instead (Or she couldn't be arsed to write about it)
 
witchofwestbyfleet said:
And that cover is awful EVEN for self-published! Who the hell designed it?
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Ah c'mon be fair, just Liz practicing her selfie skills

Origen said:
she must have looked like Enid Blyton’s Mallory Towers
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Yeah whenever she mentions those knickers I keep waiting for her to mention the five shilling note she keeps tucked into the elastic

"I am just grinding my Coffee Plant of Portobello Road Sumatran organic slow-roasted coffee beans"

Oh do go and duck off...yep that's where I got to before my will to carry on reading gave up.

ETA just got to the description of JB..nope, if that pile of shite ever reaches the public for general sale, I actually will make a complaint about it to any retailer mad enough to stock it
 
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Just putting this out there.. she was GASLIGHTING about the silver Linley match cover? She wasn’t annoyed about that?
David wrote ‘Look to yourself.. and your actions’ It wasn’t about the gifts at Christmas.. it was about the fact she’d outed this horrible first chapter as a ‘Taster’, basically suggesting he had schoolgirl fetish( rolled down socks, navy blue school knickers!!). Then.. she enviscerated his ex girlfriend ‘Jasmine’ using a real conversation she’d had with GF woman.. whilst stalking her on Facebook? Even a vanity/ self publisher should look at the risks involved.
 
In the interest of clarity, I’ve re read the extract.
A few ‘observations’
As stated previously, these are not fictional characters at all. They are easily identifiable real life people to anyone who’s followed the Diary over the years. Even the main character is easily recognisable as Liz. The name dropping - even the burglar alarm isn’t just any old common and garden one!
I remember David’s ex as a poster on DS. She has my utmost sympathies to be described in such a vile fashion, just for the crime of being an ex and also, someone David has remained on amicable terms with. I sympathise with David too, but to a lesser degree. He’s had ample opportunity to give the witch radio silence in the past, but inexplicably, kept going back for more. To be served up and humiliated as ‘column fodder’
Again, horribly offensive terms used again, as before in 8 and half stone.
Liz has claimed to have been bullied & also suffers from low self esteem…but in Liz World it’s perfectly fine and dandy to dish it out.
I can just imagine Liz & Nic rubbing their hands together in glee and cackling over their perceived ‘hilarity’
I just don’t get why Liz hasn’t been cancelled - other people have, for far less.
I also would be interested to find out if her victims (David & his ex) do have any legal recourse at all?
 
Miss Lola said:
I also would be interested to find out if her victims (David & his ex) do have any legal recourse at all?
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They'd have to prove it was obviously based on them, and that can be difficult to justify in court. Might be made easier by the fact that Liz published all this stuff in the national press, or if Fructis Woman has kept records of the Facebook conversation Liz repeated verbatim, etc.
 
witchofwestbyfleet said:
And that depends on whether The Tortoise gets published. It's not looking great, is it?
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Sadly I don’t think David or his ex have the kind of cash to legally challenge the book.
They can take some consolation over the bad writing though, dialogue so stilted that even the main protagonists seem like caricatures?
If it’s reviewed honestly then Liz Jones will not come out of this well.
 
You can find her autobiography on OpenLibrary. It's ... a bit depressing to say the least

Origen said:
Sadly I don’t think David or his ex have the kind of cash to legally challenge the book.
They can take some consolation over the bad writing though, dialogue so stilted that even the main protagonists seem like caricatures?
If it’s reviewed honestly then Liz Jones will not come out of this well.
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I meant Liz's chances of getting it published to begin with aren't good but yes, I agree
 
witchofwestbyfleet said:
I meant Liz's chances of getting it published to begin with aren't good but yes, I agree
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I’m trying to get my mind round the fact that she put that taster chapter out there, then asked him to come for a ‘Spa Cottage’ break at New Years?😧Ok.. it’s fiction but it’s also a thinly veiled dig at his life and how repulsive she finds him physically. She must have known he’d read it?? He’s far from blameless in the whole sordid co-dependent mess I agree but it’s so envious, threatening bile.Surely now their relationship is kaput!
 
Origen said:
I’m trying to get my mind round the fact that she put that taster chapter out there, then asked him to come for a ‘Spa Cottage’ break at New Years?😧Ok.. it’s fiction but it’s also a thinly veiled dig at his life and how repulsive she finds him physically. She must have known he’d read it?? He’s far from blameless in the whole sordid co-dependent mess I agree but it’s so envious, threatening bile.Surely now their relationship is kaput!
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Well he did give the phone back, and of course the problem is, he could have told her in no uncertain terms exactly what he thinks of her, would she admit it though. I would really love to hear David's true opinion of her, wish JB would create an account here like she did on DS and spill some tea.
 
shushablay said:
would really love to hear David's true opinion of her, wish JB would create an account here like she did on DS and spill some tea.
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Indeed. It’s as if he’s afraid to refuse her when she whistles for him. Maybe it’s financial or something? You know she really doesn’t have an original thought in her head.. I skimmed that chapter in The Tortoise again? It’s like she’s aping Patrick Bateman the character in American Psycho, with all the designer name dropping and the contempt for her boyfriend. Even the narrative style, talking ‘off camera’ to the reader. Ellis, the author of American Psycho is far beyond these scribbles though.
 
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