Here's a thought... Do you think that lily's fear is that she can't replicate her exact childhood and opportunities given to her by her parents to her kids? I think she thinks her life has been so great that she wants to mimic everything her parents have done or to fix the mistakes her parents made. Her parents had her quite old so she wanted to have kids younger. Her parents lived in London so she was able to the work experience and jobs etc in London without worrying. I think she thinks her parents nailed it in life, the house, three girls through private school etc that she feels like a failure if she can't do the exact same or better for Grey. So that's why she's such a moan and a cheapskate. I think deep down she knows this influencer gig time is marked so she's trying to squirrel as much money away as she can. She's constantly measuring herself and her achievements to what her parents did when they were her age. The fact that she's worried about her parents dying might be so they can't see her achieve and give her the validation to say "well done you did it right". Deep down she's a very insecure woman who has a real fear of failure