Late Diagnosis ADHD/ADD (Women) #2

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Really learned to identity burnout since my diagnosis to the point I’ve done lots today before work so I can do very little tomorrow and put myself on charge.
Also inspired a friend who’s seeking a referral albeit with the NHS, she’s ok with the long wait and knows if it would help her to save some money to go private. We get along so well and a lot of it is similar personalities. I was inspired by a friend so it’s nice to carry that on
 
conrea37 said:
Really learned to identity burnout since my diagnosis to the point I’ve done lots today before work so I can do very little tomorrow and put myself on charge.
Also inspired a friend who’s seeking a referral albeit with the NHS, she’s ok with the long wait and knows if it would help her to save some money to go private. We get along so well and a lot of it is similar personalities. I was inspired by a friend so it’s nice to carry that on
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I now feel absolutely no shame in doing nothing. I love going back to bed after the school run and staying there until lunch time sometimes. It’s what I need at times so 🤷🏻‍♀️ I have my appointment for ADHD in June 😬 I’m on a long NHS waiting list for ASD, I’ve heard this is currently at 2 years 🫠
 
Hi lovelies, not sure what my plan is being on this thread but potentially just looking for advice I guess?
I'm 25, and have always felt theres 'something' different about me and I worry about everything lol but today made me want to question it more after reading online - as you do x

In certain situations - for example, meetings - if I am not engaged in the situation by speaking to others I find myself getting really warm, and struggling to keep my eyes open, and I can almost feel my heart / body drop (sounds so stupid I know) and I wake myself back up again. This continues the entire meeting / situation - even if I am writing things / eating / drawing, and when I read online it was linked to ADHD.

Has anyone had anything similar at all? I am currently undergoing investigations as I suffer from short burst migraines which again have been mentioned to link to ADHD, but I want to hear from people who are officially diagnosed before I go to professionals x
 
I had a full zone out at the table in a restaurant last night, went in before 7 and it just got louder and louder by the time we got the bill just after 8. The waiter had to ask me if I was alright. So embarrassed.
 
Does anyone have any career ideas? My daughter is wanting to come off her college course and feels a bit lost. Career ideas for an asd/adhd brain is hard (she doesn’t want to do my job and I don’t think she’d be quite ready for it). She needs something around people even though it’s exhausting so she needs it away from people too, she needs routine and structure but also change and a challenge. Oh the joys of a ND brain 😭
Edited to add, we live in a city but we’re rural
 
unidentified said:
Does anyone have any career ideas? My daughter is wanting to come off her college course and feels a bit lost. Career ideas for an asd/adhd brain is hard (she doesn’t want to do my job and I don’t think she’d be quite ready for it). She needs something around people even though it’s exhausting so she needs it away from people too, she needs routine and structure but also change and a challenge. Oh the joys of a ND brain 😭
Edited to add, we live in a city but we’re rural
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Does she have a special interests or aptitudes for a particular subject?
 
unidentified said:
Does anyone have any career ideas? My daughter is wanting to come off her college course and feels a bit lost. Career ideas for an asd/adhd brain is hard (she doesn’t want to do my job and I don’t think she’d be quite ready for it). She needs something around people even though it’s exhausting so she needs it away from people too, she needs routine and structure but also change and a challenge. Oh the joys of a ND brain 😭
Edited to add, we live in a city but we’re rural
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I'm a audhder , I work in mental health and/or learning disability my job is assessing and helping neurodiverse people, advocating etc . My first job was working in supported living , there's a lot less pressure on your social skills there's a lot of routine and structure as well as different activities. I didn't even know I was an audhder at the time but it was the first job I stuck at hahaha so it made sense.
 
unidentified said:
Does anyone have any career ideas? My daughter is wanting to come off her college course and feels a bit lost. Career ideas for an asd/adhd brain is hard (she doesn’t want to do my job and I don’t think she’d be quite ready for it). She needs something around people even though it’s exhausting so she needs it away from people too, she needs routine and structure but also change and a challenge. Oh the joys of a ND brain 😭
Edited to add, we live in a city but we’re rural
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I'm waiting for my ADHD assessment. I'm a Project Manager.
It took me a lot of years to find something that I was good at, and more importantly didn't get bored of after 6 months. I've been doing this job for 4 years now and every day is different, plus I can manage my own workload and when i do the work. I'm also partially responsible for setting deadlines, so I know I can work to them
 
Anything with clear and structured expectations but freedom to act and variation in the situations or people you deal with. Service industry, retail, emergency services, teaching, project management, inbound sales/customer service, business support/VA/PA, research, entertainment.

I've thrived in situations like retail where you're only as good as yesterday's figures and every day is a fresh start, things where you get immediate feedback on performance like organising events or cleaning, or long term projects where there are clear deliverables and milestones but regular check ins to get them over the line. I've also found it really helpful to have documented customer feedback to counteract line manager criticism.
 
Any tips on managing meltdowns at work? It's usually when I'm 'on the spot' and under pressure. Or when someone is changing something I've worked on, or a perceived criticism. I tend to be able to mask up to a certain point but then 'BAM' full on meltdown which shocks everyone. I also suffer with pmt and it is 10 x worse then which is a separate issue im trying to work on.

Also my meltdowns are embarrassing - shaking, crying, rocking, storming off. Really childish behaviour which inevitably leads to embarrassment and shame.

I think I wrongly assume I'm being criticised a lot when I'm not.
 
Rodneytrotter said:
Any tips on managing meltdowns at work? It's usually when I'm 'on the spot' and under pressure. Or when someone is changing something I've worked on, or a perceived criticism. I tend to be able to mask up to a certain point but then 'BAM' full on meltdown which shocks everyone. I also suffer with pmt and it is 10 x worse then which is a separate issue im trying to work on.

Also my meltdowns are embarrassing - shaking, crying, rocking, storming off. Really childish behaviour which inevitably leads to embarrassment and shame.

I think I wrongly assume I'm being criticised a lot when I'm not.
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Can you neutralise the issue a bit by trying to reframe what you’re hearing as “feedback” and that it’s important you hear it as feedback helps you understand other people’s perspective on your work and suggestions on how it could improve or be better? See feedback as an opportunity to improve or at least just for someone to share their opinion on your work with you? De personalise it would be my advice xx
 
Rodneytrotter said:
Any tips on managing meltdowns at work? It's usually when I'm 'on the spot' and under pressure. Or when someone is changing something I've worked on, or a perceived criticism. I tend to be able to mask up to a certain point but then 'BAM' full on meltdown which shocks everyone. I also suffer with pmt and it is 10 x worse then which is a separate issue im trying to work on.

Also my meltdowns are embarrassing - shaking, crying, rocking, storming off. Really childish behaviour which inevitably leads to embarrassment and shame.

I think I wrongly assume I'm being criticised a lot when I'm not.
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If it helps with the embarrassment and shame you feel, I was like this a lot in my old job as a project manager. When things changed direction, or my clients didn’t stick to the timeline (which was all the time!). My boss said that I was very good at my job, but that he was sometimes scared of me 😬

It was a very fast paced role and what has helped me is moving into a slower-paced job where I can have a bit of perspective and breathing space. I’m not 100% perfect by any means but my number of meltdowns are significantly less. However, as it is slower paced, my attention wanders a lot… so swings and roundabouts 🤪

Obviously it’s not as simple as changing jobs, but I find what helps me is everything going ok for me to be able to cope with my previous triggers. If I’ve had a bad night sleep, not exercising , eating badly… all the boring stuff… I find it harder to create distance and control my emotions. you’ll never be able to tick all those boxes perfectly, but it does help to keep things in check
 
adviseplz said:
If it helps with the embarrassment and shame you feel, I was like this a lot in my old job as a project manager. When things changed direction, or my clients didn’t stick to the timeline (which was all the time!). My boss said that I was very good at my job, but that he was sometimes scared of me 😬

It was a very fast paced role and what has helped me is moving into a slower-paced job where I can have a bit of perspective and breathing space. I’m not 100% perfect by any means but my number of meltdowns are significantly less. However, as it is slower paced, my attention wanders a lot… so swings and roundabouts 🤪

Obviously it’s not as simple as changing jobs, but I find what helps me is everything going ok for me to be able to cope with my previous triggers. If I’ve had a bad night sleep, not exercising , eating badly… all the boring stuff… I find it harder to create distance and control my emotions. you’ll never be able to tick all those boxes perfectly, but it does help to keep things in check
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Thank you, yes I've been told I'm scary too! And that I can be aggressive (another thing to work on). That's very true about making sure all basic needs are met such as sleep etc.
 
insomnia has brought me here to ramble so hi all! i've been telling my dad for years he's got adhd and after a few health and work issues he's finally seeking a diagnosis through occ health. really talking it through with him has made me realise we're wired very similarly (tbh i suggested he had it because i was looking up symptoms for myself) and i think i need to try and get diagnosed?

but then a friend has recently been dx with autism and we're very alike too, looking back on 'weird' childhood behaviours it seems glaringly obvious. i think i was put off seeking answers because i couldn't plan for the process, and i have quite a few other health issues for my age which can explain away coping strategies and symptoms.

i guess i'm scared anyone i see now will think i'm hunting for a diagnosis, especially if i ask about both at the same time. i can go through uni which would probably be preferred, but again i can't mentally prep for that process being vastly different which keeps putting me off. i know it'll benefit me long term to have answers but i just can't seem to get the ball rolling!
 
I did Think ADHD self-screening test today and scored 6, it says “A score of 4 or above suggests symptoms that are considered highly consistent with ADHD.”

it made me feel quite sad when I was doing it. During the assessment it gives you the opportunity to describe how it’s affecting you on a day to day basis and i just couldn’t stop typing… the only thing I didn’t add in is the utter chaos of my house because I’m just too ashamed of it.

one thing that did strike me is that I lose things all the time but sometimes when I put something down I put them in really strange places and I think “that’s a dumb place to put it” but I can’t stop the impulse to put it in that stupid place because I might find the act of doing so oddly satisfying? Like if it’s something that hangs on a hook I might hook the thing onto something that doesn’t make any sense where it is, or if something fits into an awkward nook in the house I can’t help myself but place it, but then after that instant it’s completely gone out of my brain where it might be. Even though in the moment I’ll be fully locked in to the sensation that it’s satisfying to put the item (set of keys/jewellery) in the place… It’s really weird and I’ve always been like this.
 
Fledgling Psycho said:
@WeHadFunRight I identify with all of this. Chaotic house .. yes. Put things in strange places ..yes. Instantly forget where ..yes. I have currently forgotten where 3 sets of tweezers are (all the good ones naturally) and left with the rubbish pair. I lose my purse (in the house) on average three times a week & go cold frequently having no idea where my bank card is!
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Thank you so much for this, I definitely feel less alone knowing someone else has these challenges, but feel sorry for both of us!
This morning I went out to run some errands, my husband made me a tea for when I was out, so I was carrying some bags (one with some balloons in) and as I left the shop and crossed the road I was like hmmm… now I don’t know if I put my phone away or left it on the counter in the shop…. So I tried searching in my bag, and forgot I was carrying the cup of tea with a little tea in still and tipped it down myself and the other bags, it’s maddening that the simplest information leaves my brain so quickly. Like I’m not an idiot, I have a well paid job in a professional field but I am really struggling right now. Having my second baby has made everything that can be connected to ADHD symptoms so much worse.
 
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If it's anything like mine was, they will really guide you through it and put you at your ease so all you have to do is be yourself and answer as honestly as you can. The psychiatrist I saw could also tell when I was masking and asked me to pause and really think a couple of times, which was super-helpful. I hope your experience is positive and you get the outcome you're looking for. And some sleep tonight, too.
 
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