Kat Farmer DMBL40 #4 Does my bag look 40 grand

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I don't for a second doubt, watching those stories, that she feels conflicted going. She was very upset.

However I feel she's as upset about being tarred "The Bad Guy" as anything else. She's upset that she's being blamed and shamed by her family members. I'm sure that feels lousy.

And I know that she basically gave up her first career because her husband had The Big Job and worked very long hours and presumably had a lot of client dinners and business trips etc and somebody had to do the school runs and she started doing IG because she could do it from home. So maybe there's an element of "well you did it for years when they were babies mate, so duck off pointing fingers at me when I'm doing it now they're older"

But I still think she's gotten the balance wrong. She's gone too far in the other direction. And her marriage is in the toilet and her kid is mentally struggling and it could well be connected to their parents splitting up, amongst other triggers.

I'm not someone to blame one party for a split when we don't know what goes on behind closed doors. Maybe the husband was a total dick.

But I would hope that she reevaluates her career strategy going forward and keeps closer to home in the next year, for her kids sake.

But who am I kidding, shes probably signed up for another cruise in the springtime as we speak.
 
I’m really conflicted with her. Knowing how tough it is to see children and teenagers suffer with mental health problems, I want to relate to her and empathise. She does all these teary stories. But then other times she slags them off, off on constant trips, Botox, fillers, promotes daft expensive clothes and displays such fakery. Which is it - perfect glam life or relatable average mum? I’m just not sure what I think of her any more. I’m another that’s followed her since her blogging days when she was much more relatable and funny. I really hope she hasn’t split up from her husband although the signs aren’t good.
 
I can't help but feel conflicted too. Mainly because I wonder how many men would be getting the stick she's getting for taking opportunities to further their "career" and sacrificing time with family? how many things has her husband missed due to working long hours in the City and commuting daily? I don't blame her in a way for taking the gigs she's taking, when you've been a stay at home parent for many years and they get older and an empty nest is looming who wouldn't want to be fulfilled and have a life of their own and earning power ? I thoroughly dislike the instahuns and their shameless plugging / ads / oversharing / lack of awareness / over consumption / ridiculous & expensive tweakments and I include her in that, but for some reason the slagging she's getting for this bothers me. It feels somewhat mysoginistic. If her husband was going off on some law conference for a week no one would bat an eyelid.
 
ebbyflow said:
I can't help but feel conflicted too. Mainly because I wonder how many men would be getting the stick she's getting for taking opportunities to further their "career" and sacrificing time with family? how many things has her husband missed due to working long hours in the City and commuting daily? I don't blame her in a way for taking the gigs she's taking, when you've been a stay at home parent for many years and they get older and an empty nest is looming who wouldn't want to be fulfilled and have a life of their own and earning power ? I thoroughly dislike the instahuns and their shameless plugging / ads / oversharing / lack of awareness / over consumption / ridiculous & expensive tweakments and I include her in that, but for some reason the slagging she's getting for this bothers me. It feels somewhat mysoginistic. If her husband was going off on some law conference for a week no one would bat an eyelid.
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Totally agree with this. I admire her for really going for it with her career but some things don’t sit right either.
 
It’s such a tricky time with teenagers who are struggling. Mostly you just have to show you are there and weather the storm with them.
I’m married to someone with a big job, who worked away a lot, but he also rearranged things, missed out on things, cut things short to prioritise his family. Especially when they were teenagers.
I suspect the Farmers’ are both as bad as each other.
If they have split I highly doubt either feels like compromising.
 
I felt for her on those stories about her son. It is her job etc etc BUT she does choose to put her name to things. She gets to sign off on everything she chooses to do or is asked/invited to do.

I work full time, I've no choice. She can decide when she should say no. She has more than most and if her marriage is over, and even if it isn't, she really should put her kids first at this vulnerable time. I'd hate to have that regret hanging over me in a few years. Let Mr. Kat do as he likes, I'd be thinking of myself and my future relationship with my children.
 
If you can earn mega bucks and receive a constant stream of free goodies it must be hard to give it all up especially if you feel you’ve been ignored for years.
Kat doesn’t come across as the motherly type. Being a self-sacrificing back room family co-ordinator is not her style. She likes attention and to be admired.
Maybe her mum was similar which is why she didn’t get on with her and why now hasn’t got the nurturing gene.
Perhaps she is angry with her husband for his selfishness.
It’s a sad situation. Plenty of cash but neither parent has time for the children.
 
Brummiebird said:
She’s going to Dubai to appear at a Literary Festival having produced a picture book on how to get dressed. The only thing that will miss out if she doesn’t go is her ego.
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I did think duck, is that vital Kat, and more important than your children at this time? A literary festival for a week. Imagine being said son sat at home after school of an evening, watching her stories.
 
ebbyflow said:
I can't help but feel conflicted too. Mainly because I wonder how many men would be getting the stick she's getting for taking opportunities to further their "career" and sacrificing time with family? how many things has her husband missed due to working long hours in the City and commuting daily? I don't blame her in a way for taking the gigs she's taking, when you've been a stay at home parent for many years and they get older and an empty nest is looming who wouldn't want to be fulfilled and have a life of their own and earning power ? I thoroughly dislike the instahuns and their shameless plugging / ads / oversharing / lack of awareness / over consumption / ridiculous & expensive tweakments and I include her in that, but for some reason the slagging she's getting for this bothers me. It feels somewhat mysoginistic. If her husband was going off on some law conference for a week no one would bat an eyelid.
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I agree with some of this but 'empty nest' isn't looming just yet, there's a few more years to go.

I would say the teenage years are far more critical than when they are younger. The transition from child to teenager to young adult is a very difficult time for many, especially to do it parentless.
 
Well she seems fully revived this morning with her glass of champers in business class!

I felt uncomfortable seeing her sob and over-share private stuff. But I think she relies on the validation and unconditional adoration from her followers. Not a healthy way to live.

Attending conferences, doing business development is part and parcel of most city jobs. Her husband wouldn’t have a choice (if he wants to keep his well paid job). But she does.
 
I do have sympathy with her on this - knowing that type, I'm pretty sure Mr PWC has always depended on having a full-time unpaid helper at home to get where he is, and doesn't like being leaned on to lift a finger just because her career is now taking off and it's 'his turn'.

That said, she has been away a *lot* recently. The rubbish book is important to her I'm sure, and you really can't pull out of that sort of thing if you're booked, but she should think carefully about taking on more foreign freebies. I don't think they've split, but they both seem to resent each other and will do shortly if this carries on.
 
Clytemnestra said:
I do have sympathy with her on this - knowing that type, I'm pretty sure Mr PWC has always depended on having a full-time unpaid helper at home to get where he is, and doesn't like being leaned on to lift a finger just because her career is now taking off and it's 'his turn'.

That said, she has been away a *lot* recently. The rubbish book is important to her I'm sure, and you really can't pull out of that sort of thing if you're booked, but she should think carefully about taking on more foreign freebies. I don't think they've split, but they both seem to resent each other and will do shortly if this carries on.
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Probably some truth there. But another way of looking at it is that he earned significant £££ to enable her to be a SAHM for many years filling her days with the gym, endless endless shopping, girls lunches, supervising her huge home renovation. Not having to work at all gave her the time to write all the blogs and start on the influencer gravy train. I might be wrong but I think she quite likes being away from her family - and she can be the centre of her own universe.
 
Clytemnestra said:
I do have sympathy with her on this - knowing that type, I'm pretty sure Mr PWC has always depended on having a full-time unpaid helper at home to get where he is, and doesn't like being leaned on to lift a finger just because her career is now taking off and it's 'his turn'.

That said, she has been away a *lot* recently. The rubbish book is important to her I'm sure, and you really can't pull out of that sort of thing if you're booked, but she should think carefully about taking on more foreign freebies. I don't think they've split, but they both seem to resent each other and will do shortly if this carries on.
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Yeah and lest we forget, Mr Farmer is still only 50ish himself, and still has The Big Job, so he could be in a position of still having to work long hours and devote a lot of time to work. So he may be proper pissed off that he has to do some of the mundane stuff of having kids these days. I never heard if he was working from home ever? He never seemed to be there except at the weekends tbh. She never mentioned him being in the house whenever she was Instastorying from home.

In fact I wonder if it was her choice to split up. Men with Big Jobs rarely dump a wife who still does a lot of the mental load and a lot of the school runs and the grocery shopping (which we know she actually does do) , regardless of how unhealthy the relationship is. It's just too handy for them.

But a woman can feel like an unappreciated assistant far too easily, especially if you have an extremely lucrative career of your own now.

A split would be 100% favourable to her, logistically. She gets some time to herself to go off on her jollies and a break from the kids and she presumably stays in the house for the next few years. At the very least she'd get the Suffolk house I'm sure.
 
Exactly Sooz - whatever we think of her choices, she's not stupid (her blogs used to be genuinely well written and funny before she crawled up her own braying backside when TV came knocking) and I'm sure being home alone with 3 children for aeons was soul destroying for her. Pretty sure Mr PWC is pushing back about the new career (which he thinks is many, many rungs below pensions in the grand order of importance) but she's damned if she's getting back in her box now. I know she's an almighty self-absorbed pain, but this side of her I can get on board with.
 
Isn't a Literary Festival featuring Kat's Picture Book in Dubai a perfect oxymoron??
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I think they have absolutely split and he's pissed off because he's got the two kids still at home all week whilst one of them is struggling. A happy, together marriage would compromise and support each other, not witch on social meeja.
 
It's 3 kids! The girl is the eldest. I think she's 17 now. The 2 boys are close behind. One has ADHD and high functioning ASD and finds school very difficult (they had to change schools for him which is why they're at 3 different schools) and finds social stuff difficult and can be challenging to parent.
 
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