Recap:
We started off the previous thread with Leonora dressed up as a turtle for World Book Day. They were one day late as it was the day before!!! So the poor little sod walked into his nursery looking as ridiculous as his father did at Butlin's dressed as the infamous RaRa!!
The next day they ventured into London for the Together For Short Lives Ball although no description of the charity's cause or fundraising was mentioned. Obviously yet again, they were handed spare tickets at the last moment. Fakey was dressed up in a black bow tie and walking along the back streets of London like a James Bond on crack whilst Flapz filmed him. Flapz was wearing a cheap lycra dress with a massive stain on the front and did an #aff link about her crappy silver bag. She even had the cheek to put it up for sale on Vinted the next day for £35!!! Whilst at the Ball, Fakey shouted out to James Jordan constantly to grab his attention. He was blatantly ignored and it was honestly like the 'Dan' scene out of Alan Partridge. He did manage though to get a selfie with Simon Cowell who obviously had forgotten who the
duck he was!!!
The next day was Freddie's birthday party; his 'bit of a son'. We saw him blowing up 65 balloons for a homemade balloon arch 'as it's nice to make things yourself'. No, you wasn't gifted anything was you? During the party he disappeared upstairs instead of helping out with his stepson's party and then completely disappeared that night altogether!
The night of The Glitter Ball 2023 for Sarcoma arrived and Fakey went with Polly Parrot instead of his 'wife'. Polly Parrot was tarted up like a cheap escort and was thirsty af. He posted a strange 'I love you' photo to Flapz on his stories and like we all said, screamed of guilt. Is Polly Parrot getting his carrot?
He performed a few totally inappropriate songs about drugs, incestual rape, prostitution and strippers whilst balancing his phone on his knee. Polly was on the floor filming him like a
witch on heat whilst he looked completely off his chops sweating like a flasher in a playground. Very weird vibes were going on and highly unprofessional also!
The next 'Big Challenge' was announced with Oktagon MMA. Hopefully his opponent, who is giving his fighting purse all to charity, will knock seven shades of
bleeping tit out of him. Are you giving your fight purse to charity Fakey? We highly doubt that you scumbag.
He returned from the Ball and then went food shopping in M&S making sure everybody saw the trolley. Unfortunately, Flapz even managed to burn the pre-packaged food!
Another night out. Yes, another one!! This time to the premier of John Wick 4 accompanied by his 'mate' who looked like Skeletor's twin brother with a hint of Penfold, who likes to have 'petit walks in Green Park sucking on a cigar' and acts like the biggest, pretentious wankstain that you ever did see. What a combination they were that night. Luckily Keanu Reeves didn't cross paths with them or they would've been pulvarised John Wick style!
The next day as he was on yet another comedown, we had a story about 'a white dove who glided over his car and winked at him'. Just lay off the drugs bro! He then started calling out Flapz about her bad timekeeping 'giving him anxiety'. He then sat on the toilet singing about 'not being able to
tit by himself' while Leonora played with a metal tape measure that could have had his little eye out.
Leonora was playing with stickers on the table and Fakey said "Yeah, that's fun int' it". Hiya Fakey!
They then went off to the farm and he constantly made passive aggressive digs to Flapz about being a cow and letting her coat get covered in
tit. Don't put that coat on Vinted!!
Freddie's birthday arrived and he put up a post mainly about himself of course. Freddie came back from school opened up his presents but Fakey fucked off for the night in a budget hotel that apparently 'caught fire' as he was on Loose Women.
His appearance on Loose Women was for five minutes. He came on like Bruce Forsyth on a bad trip, pushing a drinks trolley with cocktails on, kept making the audience who were 70+ go woooo too much and fluffed his autocue. He then came on a bit later with cocktails for the panel. As he walked off he tripped up. The audience and panel laughed at him. At least he managed to get a selfie with Tommy Fury!!!
He is appearing with the Emmerdale cast today and interviewing 'Paddy'. Paddy is currently suicidal and this will be centred on talks on mental health. Could meeting Fakey finally push Paddy over the edge?
We had some tea. Some very hot tea about Fakey and Polly Parrot being intimate. We shall continue this.
Is Polly Parrot getting his carrot?
Is Flapz being cheated on?
We'll find out after the break.
*Jeremy Kyle theme tune!!
Carry on Fakeys and keep that hot tea coming. I'll provide the sandwiches!!!!
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I don't use that word often but I can't find any other suitable words. 
I do pmsl x
Also if someone who isn’t blocked can screenshot this story for me with his name at top, I’ll send a little report to ASA - Thanks
I don’t know much about Scunthorpe but judging by Orchardlodge where he grew up im guessing it’s quiet nice and not considered rough?
