Jack Monroe #70 #fakingmemories

[Breakdance Badass]

It’s a dog belonging to a stand up she went to see. She sat beside her for 4 hrs and took lots of pics, it’s a Maltese poodle cross in case you need to know.... so a maltipoo? Poomalt?

 

[NellieBoo]

She's got a bleeping puppy, fraus

Jesus bleeping wept. Alright. Phew.

 

[PoorPatrol]

It’s a dog belonging to a stand up she went to see. She sat beside her for 4 hrs and took lots of pics, it’s a Maltese poodle cross in case you need to know.... so a maltipoo? Poomalt?

Poomalt, sounds like a delicious new depressipe, can’t wait for the fun YouTube vid

 

[Breakdance Badass]

Poomalt, sounds like a delicious new depressipe, can’t wait for the fun YouTube vid

New name for Malteasers innit?

 

[People-huv-tae-know]

Bloody hell, I'm so glad the puppy is not hers. She does not deserve animals. I suppose Cooper still has a sore nose. Also if she did get a puppy I wouldn't put it past her to go to a puppy mill or get from a car boot litter. Absolute hole.
That was a lovely video @Blursoftimes, it flowed beautifully whereas Jack's stuff is jumpy and sets me on edge. I'm going to try your beans too although I'm shocked you didn't rinse them first.

 

[Leonard]

So glad the puppy isn’t hers... do we think that the dog’s owner has potential to be fiancée number 4? Sounds like JM is using the doggo as some sort of corny pick up - “really want to see her, I mean the dog, again”
(Cue hilarious story about how they met, when aforementioned doggo bounded onto her lap etc etc)

Edited to add... dog owner’s bio says she’s sober. Might be the reason for JM’s random sobriety tweets celebrating day 622 or whatever it is

 

[xoxo]

Another person chiming in to say I panicked when I thought she had got a puppy. So relieved that she hasn’t!

Also... could she BE any more attention seeking?!? She deliberately worded it like the pup was hers! What a loser.

 

[OhHeck]

Is it just me or is she doing weird Twitter flirting with its owner via the medium of cute dog?

 

[DinosaurSenior]

"traaazzzers? On a bird!?" is my favourite tattle quote ever. It says so much in so few words.

 

[TheDragonWithAFlagon]

It’s a dog belonging to a stand up she went to see. She sat beside her for 4 hrs and took lots of pics, it’s a Maltese poodle cross in case you need to know.... so a maltipoo? Poomalt?

I think you mean Mongrel.

 

[Alansbigplate]

Is the dog owner famous, rich, older, influential, posh?

 

[Saint_clemmie]

I also positively hooted at Matt using the ol' bait and switch, calling Jack a modern Marguerite Patten and then saying it was scripted once she'd gushed her thanks.

One of my personal favourite moments @traumatised sideboard, she was genuinely taken aback wasn’t she? Although she claimed to have been in on the joke.

 

[Silver Linings]

Is the dog owner famous, rich, older, influential, posh?

No, no, no and no. But she has an option to ‘buy her a coffee’.

ETA - Actually, older perhaps. Our survey says - not worth it.

 

[Alansbigplate]

No, no, no and no. But she has an option to ‘buy her a coffee’.

Beggars can’t be choosers

 

[NellieBoo]

At the risk of being called a bully or some such other guff and to no one in particular, obviously, just saying - There is a whole ARMY of crazy dog ladies who WILL NOT TOLERATE ANY CRUELTY TO DOGS. AT ALL. NONE. Don't do it because all manner of hell fire will be rained down. The network is vast and far reaching ️.

 

[Scarletfever]

"traaazzzers? On a bird!?" is my favourite tattle quote ever. It says so much in so few words.

I exploded with laughter at that post! It was genius.

 

[blurstoftimes]

The bio has changed! Single mother is out - sober is in.

 

[SweetTransvestite]

I’m sure the membership of the Groucho was discussed WAY back, wee Jackie was awarded free membership for the Maverick Award in 2013. So it cost her nothing! https://www.thegrouchoclub.com/private-events/awards-nomination/

"Finally, and most importantly, it should go to someone who breaks the mould, challenges the status quo, who has made an outstanding contribution to the world of the arts. A true Maverick"

...eh?

<terrible, just terrible>

 

[NellieBoo]

I think you mean Mongrel.

Cross breed, thankyou

 

[Tabitha D]

Yep, relieved Jack has not actually acquired a dog - she had previously said that her landlord would not allow dogs (though it is unrecorded how the landlord feels about the re-purposing of the shed, and the garish re-decoration of the dining room to look like a shed - or indeed how Jackie keeps referring to the landlord’s obviously rather splendid property as “crappy”).
Still, now that’s settled. JACK - TAKE COOPER TO THE VET TO GET HIS NOSE CHECKED OUT. SERIOUSLY. Take this from someone who loves cats,