Jack Monroe #60 Everything I do, I do it for ... ME!

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moglits said:
HIYA CABAL.

Nothing much to say other than I couldn’t sleep last night and fell down a Jackie rabbit hole.

I may be wrong but I don’t think this beauty has been shared on the threads (apologies if it has).

Reminds me of what I considered frightfully erotic and frankly awful poetry I wrote my ex-girlfriend when I was 17. Clue is in the age.

Also, unfortunate analogy. My love is like garlic. Microwaveable?


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What the hell does 'claves' mean? If you're using a word which doesn't make sense on line 2 give up the damn poem!

The definition I found: 1A pair of hardwood sticks used to make a hollow sound when struck together. 'The mic was also nice on wooden percussion - claves, castanets, etc. ... 'Musicians will demonstrate bomba and plena, and give a group lesson on the claves - wooden sticks that are the backbone of Latin rhythms. '
 
Tabitha D said:
She’s blatantly fishing for her next sugar mummy. After all, didn’t she “meet” Allegra on social media? She certainly seems to think she’s irresistible though. But I expect that, by this point and with her relationship history, the sugar mummy network will be wary.
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If I was a rich single Twitter lesbian down south the thought of the drama and the food Jack brings would have me running for the hills , who needs that?
 
TriviaNewtonJohn said:
What the hell does 'claves' mean? If you're using a word which doesn't make sense on line 2 give up the damn poem!

The definition I found: 1A pair of hardwood sticks used to make a hollow sound when struck together. 'The mic was also nice on wooden percussion - claves, castanets, etc. ... 'Musicians will demonstrate bomba and plena, and give a group lesson on the claves - wooden sticks that are the backbone of Latin rhythms. '
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Psst Jackie. Did you mean cleaves?
Thankyou and now duck off with your nonsense.
 
TriviaNewtonJohn said:
What the hell does 'claves' mean? If you're using a word which doesn't make sense on line 2 give up the damn poem!

The definition I found: 1A pair of hardwood sticks used to make a hollow sound when struck together. 'The mic was also nice on wooden percussion - claves, castanets, etc. ... 'Musicians will demonstrate bomba and plena, and give a group lesson on the claves - wooden sticks that are the backbone of Latin rhythms. '
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Hahaha I thought this as well - I think she means "cleaves" which has the double (and dichotomous) meaning of splitting apart or sticking to something like glue. It would be quite clever in the context of stubborn garlic smell combined with the, um, parting action performed by the fingers of lesbians during sex but as per usual, Jack was too arrogant to check whether she had the right word before bounding ahead and publishing her derivative word vomit.

ETA sorry for repeating @SoulRebel I was too slow off the mark
 
Looking back on old Jack posts to pinpoint how I used to ever follow her without getting pissed off. Firstly, YUCK. Secondly, a pasta sauce with potato in it?! Thirdly, according to this post there's another recipe book coming out in December 2020...

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HarderFaster said:
Hahaha I thought this as well - I think she means "cleaves" which has the double (and dichotomous) meaning of splitting apart or sticking to something like glue. It would be quite clever in the context of stubborn garlic smell combined with the, um, parting action performed by the fingers of lesbians during sex but as per usual, Jack was too arrogant to check whether she had the right word before bounding ahead and publishing her derivative word vomit.

ETA sorry for repeating @SoulRebel I was too slow off the mark
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It's also a rhythm. (Son Clave - pronounced clah-vey)

1-2-3---12

Like in Get Ur Freak On and about a million other popular songs, particularly in RnB, Samba (where the name comes from) and African Drumming (part of the Year 7 Music curriculum, usually).


Title Suggestion: Claves, cleaves, cloves - and Vivien's (RIP) Clothes.
 
blurstoftimes said:
Looking back on old Jack posts to pinpoint how I used to ever follow her without getting pissed off. Firstly, YUCK. Secondly, a pasta sauce with potato in it?! Thirdly, according to this post there's another recipe book coming out in December 2020...

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Fourthly, that bacon doesn't look cooked, who wants to eat big strands of raw bacon fat?
 
She could've taken a pic of a spoonful of cake out of the tin so people can see the consistency etc before wasting ingredients trying to make it? Why are these buck eejits telling her how amazing it looks and how they would marry it and die for it when all they can see is a sopping wet, lumpy layer on the top? Soooo many people try her 'recipes' and they fail and they tweet her asking for advice because they couldn't get it to work and get ignored!
 
moglits said:
HIYA CABAL.

Nothing much to say other than I couldn’t sleep last night and fell down a Jackie rabbit hole.

I may be wrong but I don’t think this beauty has been shared on the threads (apologies if it has).

Reminds me of what I considered frightfully erotic and frankly awful poetry I wrote my ex-girlfriend when I was 17. Clue is in the age.

Also, unfortunate analogy. My love is like garlic. Microwaveable?


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Is her alter ego Adrian Mole?
 
blurstoftimes said:
Looking back on old Jack posts to pinpoint how I used to ever follow her without getting pissed off. Firstly, YUCK. Secondly, a pasta sauce with potato in it?! Thirdly, according to this post there's another recipe book coming out in December 2020...

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Her food photography is horrific, nothing looks remotely appetising at all. How on earth has she made money from this? Who the hell buys into this utter crap?
 
ChickenPorridge said:
She could've taken a pic of a spoonful of cake out of the tin so people can see the consistency etc before wasting ingredients trying to make it? Why are these buck eejits telling her how amazing it looks and how they would marry it and die for it when all they can see is a sopping wet, lumpy layer on the top? Soooo many people try her 'recipes' and they fail and they tweet her asking for advice because they couldn't get it to work and get ignored!
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Yeah Mrs. Bellend showed me that on Twitter this morning. I honestly thought it was a picture of Fiddy’s catsick.

Hellybelly said:
Her love is like Garlic. It gives me the shits.
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Next thread title???
 
blurstoftimes said:
Looking back on old Jack posts to pinpoint how I used to ever follow her without getting pissed off. Firstly, YUCK. Secondly, a pasta sauce with potato in it?! Thirdly, according to this post there's another recipe book coming out in December 2020...

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That sauce sounds remarkably like the soup my mother used to make and blend to get vegetables into my father, only hers was extremely edible. He walked though the kitchen one day when she was making his favourite dish. "I HATE celery; don't you dare ruin it with that!" "You've been eating celery in it for over 20 years, since you first tasted it".
 
moglits said:
HIYA CABAL.

Nothing much to say other than I couldn’t sleep last night and fell down a Jackie rabbit hole.

I may be wrong but I don’t think this beauty has been shared on the threads (apologies if it has).

Reminds me of what I considered frightfully erotic and frankly awful poetry I wrote my ex-girlfriend when I was 17. Clue is in the age.

Also, unfortunate analogy. My love is like garlic. Microwaveable?


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My god that is truly atrocious. And so embarrassing! It makes no sense.
Also, is she saying that she thinks garlic is “malodorous”? And she’s a cook? 😕
 
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