Jack Monroe #598 Why do her friends always die in twos?

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witchofwestbyfleet

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Title by @HotesTilaire, nominated by @BlendedSlop. You each win tickets to a Funeral For a Friend gig.

Recap!
  • Guest's friends are still dying in twos, last time they had "topped themselves", this time they OD'd. What a bleeping GHOUL guest is
  • She's in her faux-Scot era ("och, Matt mate") and her communist era (calling people "comrade.") "Comrade Guest" sounds like a spinoff to the 70s sitcom Citizen Smith, or a 1950s propaganda film by actual communists about how not to do communism
  • With Storm Darragh (IRISH, just like guest!!!11) raging, the snow fell upon Southend and she started posting frantically on Bluesky again and snapping at several squigs. Elmo is lurking around the corner!
  • She gave us an update on the Vicarious Bum Iteration which she claims she has been working tirelessly on for the last two years. She did however acknowledge that it was a bit ambitious of her to say she could do it in a weekend. Anyway it totally exists and she is not just talking about it because -
  • -her mentions on Bluesky are a binfire as word of her grift spreads
  • She donates a lot of books to prison libraries, presumably the same ones where she makes prison tamales
  • She works full time AND VOLUNTEERS in addition to going to AA meetings every day
  • Her son totally lives with her and she brings up Cooper a lot (still visibly undernourished and flea-infested) but no recent mentions of Content-Lou the dog, who is most certainly not with her son and his dad
  • And she remembered she's supposed to be a "poverty campaigner" and started ranting about the NHS.
There was some reminiscing about our favourite past lies, including the "parade of shops" near her with its 20+ types of international cuisine (fact check says 3) and her relationship with Sure Start. Along with the time she tried and failed to trademark variations of "depressipes." But with guest posting so much bollocks, the canal is back in business, baby!

allmyfriendsaredead.jpg


Wiki up on the pink button!
 
First! Oh wow.
If two of my friends hadn’t died a few months apart last year, it would be a lot funnier. I suppose it was different because they were both real people who were my friends for years and I didn’t use them for clapback clout on social media, so I‘m probably not Jack.

I can’t believe she’s trying to make A Whole Damn House go viral.
 
witchofwestbyfleet said:
the canal is back in business, baby!
Click to expand...

Isn't it wonderful! 🥰

Shame guest is still behaving like a grade A bleep, but what's new?

She's learned nothing over the years. Yes, she has her BlueSky squig supporters, but as more of her detractors join BS she's going to have to put out a lot of fires. Which she should be ok at, because she's seen a lot of them, apparently. Of course she hasn't because she's a vile ghoul.

As much as I detest her (I don't consider that an exaggeration these days), I am pleased to see the Canal more active. This really is one of my favourite places on the internet. I feel safe, and I actually care about you lot, and I feel like I can be me - even though we are all anonymous.

Right - enough moping around being a soppy twit - I'm off to laugh at her council meeting screenies again.
 
Excuse me popping in from the last thread but can I just softly, carefully, gently say :::

BUY YOUR OWN DAMN HOUSE OR FLAT JACK MONROE YOU THIEVING BUMHOLE OF A 🔔🔚 NOBODY ELSE OWES YOU A bleeping HOME

Aaaah that feels better. This prick starting on about a whole damn house seriously makes me bleeping angry. Buy your own with your own money or mortgage, or rent a bungamansion like you already do.
JUST DON'T EXPECT OTHER PEOPLE TO PAY FOR IT FOR YOU YOU TEDIOUS TANTLESSNESS GRIFTING CLOWN .
I had to pay for my own house as a single parent. Stop bleeping BEGGING
 
If Jack had of made any self development I would feel sorry for her. She continues to attract people similar to her on social media - delusional fantasists with main character syndrome who wish they had a larger platform and were in a position to grift.

But she can't help embellishing stories. It makes no difference to tell a story that you've lost two friends vs obviously lie and say you lost two friends this week.

The Guardian, James O'brien etc share the blame for years of encouraging and rewarding this behavior.
 
I am curious most people i know that work in data collection etc generally have qualifications in said field, not a potential A-C in a GCSE and two doctorates given to her for cooking and talking bollocks. I think her claiming that her 'data' work is better than actual paid professionals is unfair and ignorant at best. Some muppet with a wooden calculator and a few notebooks is in my opinion not going to have what it takes to sort out the fianacial crisis that has befell many, nevermind sort out the floundering NHS. She would be better using her time hitting the job centre for a wee job that will pay her an actual wage.
 
Onestorytoomany said:
I am curious most people i know that work in data collection etc generally have qualifications in said field, not a potential A-C in a GCSE and two doctorates given to her for cooking and talking bollocks. I think her claiming that her 'data' work is better than actual paid professionals is unfair and ignorant at best. Some muppet with a wooden calculator and a few notebooks is in my opinion not going to have what it takes to sort out the fianacial crisis that has befell many, nevermind sort out the floundering NHS. She would be better using her time hitting the job centre for a wee job that will pay her an actual wage.
Click to expand...

Her work has no value, which is why she has to do it for free or scam donations off the internet.

ETA: Another thing occurs to me. When she said she "works full time". Well, as what?
 
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She’s back to her good sleeping routine of going to bed with 11 pints of some water boiled with twigs and despair and putting her phone in the other room. All so she can get her 9 hours interrupted then?
SB must have already left for school considering the journey he has to make. Odd she never tweets (what do you call it on bluesky) at this time.
 
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