Jack Monroe #597 Ghoul, Interrupted

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I’ve read and re read that pile of whiffle five times now and I’m still none the wiser about what it actually is.

What is she forecasting?

For all we know it’s a cut out and keep guide to all the places she’s thrown imaginary objects at peoples heads, or the places she’s fallen over and broken eleventy million crumbly bones.

read at face value - “population forecasting street by street” - is she the ONS now?
Same babe. I have read it several times and have no idea what Jack has done or why. I think she doesn't either.

My best guess is a few days of busy work (800+ hours sounds like bollocks) with Jack c&ping then making meaningless pivot tables and about 5000 pie charts - I bleeping hate pie charts and apparently I am not alone in this - and no doubt probably pointless 3d exploding pie charts.

Although I would pay money to read the 12,000 word report.
 
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My best guess is a few days of busy work (800+ hours sounds like bollocks) with Jack c&ping then making meaningless pivot tables and about 5000 pie charts - I bleeping hate pie charts and apparently I am not alone in this - and no doubt probably pointless 3d exploding pie charts. Although I would pay money to read the 12,000 word report.
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Oh god, I'm dead and you have killed me.

At first it sounded like handing in a dissertation, and then I laughed. Her waffle reminds me of someone on my Master's course - would waffle about qUanTuM PhYsIcS and other pretentious waffle. I spent months of seminars thinking I was absolutely stupid and I actually was in tears at the end of one. My supervisor asked what was wrong and I said my head feels like glue and sawdust and I cannot make sense or remember things. She told me not to worry, he has no idea what he's going on with and probably won't be moving onto the research half. 😂 Lads, it was only a philosophy degree! 🤣 Quantum physics, my ass.

That pointless anecdote was the first thing that came to mind when Jack made that post.

If any organisation (especially a charity or non profit) has paid her for this nonsense, it would make me rip a radiator off the wall and gas myself. She has no idea how to analyse data, how to research, how to draw it all together. She has no idea how to present things, how to be engaging. She has no idea... well... in general. What a quantum twit.
 
Daft twit has obviously never heard of Power Bi.

I am an actual data scientist 🍉. This is giving me the same vibes that documentaries about the Yorkshire Ripper police investigation does. They maintained so many boxes of index cards that the bungamansion police station floors had to be re-inforced whereas modern data modelling and machine learning would’ve provided actionable insights and answers in seconds. Of course, they were very limited back then. Jack is just a precocious twit who once again thinks she has innate skills beyond people who have learning and experience. Genuinely quite mortified for her.

ETA - She’s a bleeping useless 3D Pumble chart.
 
Shall we go though this line by line?

1 860 hours working on the project.
That seems a very specific number, I hope she has proof of those hours worked if anyone is paying her out of public funds.

2 37 Spreadsheets.
Are they her spreadsheets, or ones provided to her? The implication is they are hers, but I doubt it. What are they spreadsheets of? Surely if they already exist, the analysis has already been done.

3 9,000 map pins.
Why use map pins? Surely colouring in streets on a map as you complete the analysis would be less confusing than a map full of pins.

4 20 years of election analysis.
I am pretty sure that election results from 20 years ago have already been analysed, and by people far more competent that Jack.

5 136,000 census entries.
The census responses are already analysed, by qualified, capable and skilled people. What a smol pixie can add is anyone's guess.

6 10 years of housing analysis.
What does she think the local authority officers do with the all the information that they have? Do she think they put it in a box file and forget it?

7 Hundreds of miles walking project.
What information regarding population could she glean by walking up a street? It would provide nothing other than anecdotal "lots of kids" or "old people seem to live here" Nothing of any useful purpose. That's before we get on to the fact that she is arthritic and doesn't leave the house without a walking stick. If anyone did employ her to do such walking, they would be in breach of duty of care.

8 12,000 word presentation. Population forecasting street by street.
Who is presenting it, and to whom? For what purpose, and for what aims and objectives? Such detailed street by street analysis is not needed for future planning, area by area is far more useful for devising future service provision needs.

9 It's published in a couple of months.
By who and where will it be available? No point in crowing about something and not letting people know where they can access all this important information.

As an added comment... Why would anyone get Jack to do this project, when all local governments have massive computer systems and IT departments that could do all this overnight? The analytical data that passed across my desk daily would make this look like a school project, and that was 20 years ago.

Re: walking, she never said it was her that did it, did she? It sounds like she's using canvasser data to me (and therefore not very apolitical but what do I know??)

Similarly, the 9000 map pins are likely digital rather than physical
 
Re: walking, she never said it was her that did it, did she? It sounds like she's using canvasser data to me (and therefore not very apolitical but what do I know??)

Similarly, the 9000 map pins are likely digital rather than physical

Yeah, all of those resources will have been readily available in the Southend Labour party office. And I'd put money on the '20 years of election analysis' meaning their dog-eared copies of the last five or so Nuffield election guides.

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