Jack Monroe #596 She's less a person and more a hole in the air

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witchofwestbyfleet

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Thread title by @SouthendRealEstate. You win a tin of Polyfilla for that hole.

Recap: Guest has gone quiet on Bluesky, presumably bored now the initial rush of attention is over, and/or simply exhausted from trying to keep up with her own endless lies. So the thread carries on nicely without her. We've mithered about tinned potatoes, the Leggy days, the alphabet, and what to put on our mugs. Also the upcoming 2024 Sloppies!

Is "Burger Boy" SB's dad?
Did LJC steal a Bafta?
What should we call wall plugs?
How did the ferrets stand the smell in guest's home?
Will we reach 600 threads by the end of the year?

All these (and more) remain great canal mysteries!

Wiki up on the pink button
 
As the new thread commences, the month draws to a close and we put our sewing down for the night, we await word on whether guest will be fearing, spurning and/or renouncing Christmas again this year in the month that awaits on the cusp of the future.

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@Captainmouse from previous thread re: male ferrets which I described as holts.
I thought they were hobs?

You are quite right my dear fellow mouselet - it was one of those things that looked wrong when I typed it, and I did have a tiny mither* but was too lazy to check.

I did check, following your post and it is a hob - a holt is an otter's den. I mixed my mustelids. Let's hope I remember next time 😉 **


*Pronounced "mither"

**Old age and gin - a dangerous combination. 🤣
 
witchofwestbyfleet said:
Thread title by @SouthendRealEstate. You win a tin of Polyfilla for that hole.

Recap: Guest has gone quiet on Bluesky, presumably bored now the initial rush of attention is over, and/or simply exhausted from trying to keep up with her own endless lies. So the thread carries on nicely without her. We've mithered about tinned potatoes, the Leggy days, the alphabet, and what to put on our mugs. Also the upcoming 2024 Sloppies!

Is "Burger Boy" SB's dad?
Did LJC steal a Bafta?
What should we call wall plugs?
How did the ferrets stand the smell in guest's home?
Will we reach 600 threads by the end of the year?

All these (and more) remain great canal mysteries!

Wiki up on the pink button
Click to expand...
A lovely thing to have a Jenny Numnums thread title 🥰

I won’t need a whole tub of polyfilla for such a smol hole - is there any chance of a partial refund?
 
Valiofthedolls said:
If you’ve also got some Germolene and some random hedge, floor and plughole ephemera handy, you can use the leftovers to make this lovely, lovely cake. View attachment 3288983 q
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Hmmmm icing made of McDonalds chicken nugget mix from the 90s!
I’d hate to have to face a slice of one of her ‘cakes’, usually icing is a safe bet but even if you can pick off all the crap she ‘decorates’ it with you’re met with something nefarious.
The lemon and basil wort cake covered with paper flowers she stole from a toddler’s Easter bonnet springs to mind (unfortunately).
She’s so deeply gross, everything she creates is almost as minging as her
 
HotesTilaire said:
Yeah, miss you Jenny.
I don’t think I’ve seen that pink monstrosity of a cake before! Also, given how much of a Yankee doodle wankee Jack is, I don’t think she’s ever tried to ruin Thanksgiving…
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Those dirty deviants at the NYT tried to ruin Titmas Thanksgiving Eve a couple of years ago
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Cheers NYT, guest’s crying now.
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Valiofthedolls said:
Those dirty deviants at the NYT tried to ruin Titmas Thanksgiving Eve a couple of years ago View attachment 3289170 qView attachment 3289171 qCheers NYT, guest’s crying now. View attachment 3289176 q
View attachment 3289185 qView attachment 3289186 qView attachment 3289188 qView attachment 3289189 q
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I have a question. Answers on a tit house onion postcard....why didn't she turn the oven on to preheat whilst doing the cake mix? Cold ovens as well as cold pans.... Jeez.
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HotesTilaire said:
Yeah, miss you Jenny.
I don’t think I’ve seen that pink monstrosity of a cake before! Also, given how much of a Yankee doodle wankee Jack is, I don’t think she’s ever tried to ruin Thanksgiving…
Click to expand...
Giver her a chance. She will probably rock up to do so around Burn's Night. Do you want her to stop exhaling? Excelling?
 
Valiofthedolls said:
Those dirty deviants at the NYT tried to ruin Titmas Thanksgiving Eve a couple of years ago View attachment 3289170 qView attachment 3289171 qCheers NYT, guest’s crying now. View attachment 3289176 q
View attachment 3289185 qView attachment 3289186 qView attachment 3289188 qView attachment 3289189 q
Click to expand...
I have a question: how is guest getting elderflowers in September???? They are gone by late June, and certainly aren't around at the same time as ripe blackberries in my experience as a country bumpkin.
Do you think she put cow parsley on it instead?????

Also nice how she doesn't specify icing sugar for the icing. FoReNsIc attention to detail there....
Oh, and there's no way she made as much icing as in the picture from the quantities specified in the recipe. Jack Maths strikes again!!
 
HotesTilaire said:
Yeah, miss you Jenny.
I don’t think I’ve seen that pink monstrosity of a cake before! Also, given how much of a Yankee doodle wankee Jack is, I don’t think she’s ever tried to ruin Thanksgiving…
Click to expand...
BIB far, far, far too soon.
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MavisBeacon said:
I have a question: how is guest getting elderflowers in September???? They are gone by late June, and certainly aren't around at the same time as ripe blackberries in my experience as a country bumpkin.
Do you think she put cow parsley on it instead?????

Also nice how she doesn't specify icing sugar for the icing. FoReNsIc attention to detail there....
Click to expand...
There is no way in hell that is elderflower anyway. If she had an elder in her garden, she'd have made elderberry syrup or sth over the many decades she has been in the Bungamansion. Cue "Jack goes Foraging" as next blog post /BS post/IG/tweet.
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I'm not actually here said:
BIB far, far, far too soon.
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There is no way in hell that is elderflower anyway. If she had an elder in her garden, she'd have made elderberry syrup or sth over the many decades she has been in the Bungamansion. Cue "Jack goes Foraging" as next blog post /BS post/IG/tweet.
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Also, the photo quality is dire. Even with her spenny camera.
 
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Valiofthedolls said:
Those dirty deviants at the NYT tried to ruin Titmas Thanksgiving Eve a couple of years ago View attachment 3289170 qView attachment 3289171 qCheers NYT, guest’s crying now. View attachment 3289176 q
View attachment 3289185 qView attachment 3289186 qView attachment 3289188 qView attachment 3289189 q
Click to expand...
What else is only for rich folk? Salmon en croute, for example, would imply that sausage rolls, scotch eggs etc are also not for the poors as all fillings are interchangeable. Pls tell me SB's dad doesn't work in Gregg's, who will be mortified they are serving rich food to povs, surely....
 
MavisBeacon said:
I have a question: how is guest getting elderflowers in September???? They are gone by late June, and certainly aren't around at the same time as ripe blackberries in my experience as a country bumpkin.
Do you think she put cow parsley on it instead?????

Also nice how she doesn't specify icing sugar for the icing. FoReNsIc attention to detail there....
Oh, and there's no way she made as much icing as in the picture from the quantities specified in the recipe. Jack Maths strikes again!!
Click to expand...
Omg I’ve checked the date on this every time I’ve seen it to check she was actually foraging in bramble season but never spotted the elderflower! 🤣🤣🤣
ETA what are those petals on the cake and is it any wonder she regularly has the squirts.
 
I’ve just had a Greggs festive bake for lunch. From now on I shall only answer to Lady Dogs of the Canal, as my consumption of pastry encased sustenance clearly makes me a big old posho.
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BeardyBap said:
Omg I’ve checked the date on this every time I’ve seen it to check she was actually foraging in bramble season but never spotted the elderflower! 🤣🤣🤣
ETA what are those petals on the cake and is it any wonder she regularly has the squirts.
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She probably had a dried jar of elderflower on the radiator.
 
I'm not actually here said:
I have a question. Answers on a tit house onion postcard....why didn't she turn the oven on to preheat whilst doing the cake mix? Cold ovens as well as cold pans.... Jeez.
Click to expand...

yeah that is mad - any cake recipe says to preheat the oven! As soon as the raising agents (SR flour and bicarb) hit water, they start to react and produce gas bubbles that raise the cake (especially important for a cake with no egg!). If you leave the batter out to sit while the oven heats up, all those lovely bubbles start to dissipate and you'll get a poor rise.
Literal food expert right there.
 
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