Jack Monroe #592 This thread is much better without her

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Soup or Noodle said:
Yeah but surely that would've made it onto the TV auditions 😂
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L3moning said:
Jack's costings are ... questionable. And how long ago was this written? 10 stock cubes is more like 60p now.
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It’s ancient- one of her very first performative pov slops right after Woman’s Own and the Sunday People had come calling. In fairness, she was prolly still traumatized by the dawning realization that jam would be FORTY POUNDS by the end of that year, thrusting her into prostitution and stealing lemon curd food to survive, 2013.
 
MaineCoonMama said:
It's so hard to grow things let alone enough to feed a family.
I know this thread loves a good pineapple story, my brother lives in the tropics and managed to grow the world's tiniest pineapple after trying for ages. It looked like one from a dollhouse fruit bowl so it might've fed Jack and her mystery burly housemate.
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When we moved to a house with a garden I was convinced I would become vegetable self sufficient in no time. The bleeping water bill for keeping my one tomato plant alive would’ve bought me tomatoes for life.
 
VeniVidiVicki said:
I’m thrilled to have a sky sub and thread title. Twice now in the last few months after years of effort!

Can we do polls? I’d like to know least favourite jacks. My least favourite Jack is footie Jack but mainly because I feel sorry for her son. Kermode Jack seems to involve him less and he obviously steers well clear of slop Jack
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Least favourite Jack has to be…
*taps the sign* Jack.

Favourite Jack has to be…
Seized lentils Jack. It just sums her up - meaningless, bland, dull nothingness.
 
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Chickpeas said:
When we moved to a house with a garden I was convinced I would become vegetable self sufficient in no time. The bleeping water bill for keeping my one tomato plant alive would’ve bought me tomatoes for life.
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I've been banned from doing anything apart from watering the rose bushes after I was accused of killing a Venus Fly Trap. 🤷‍♀️

My least favourite Jack is bae caught me posing Jack. Nobody, not even Madonna in her Gaultier bra sleeps with their breasts thrust in the air.
 
MaineCoonMama said:
I've been banned from doing anything apart from watering the rose bushes after I was accused of killing a Venus Fly Trap. 🤷‍♀️

My least favourite Jack is bae caught me posing Jack. Nobody, not even Madonna in her Gaultier bra sleeps with their breasts thrust in the air.
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Don't fret, dear MCM - I have about 30 houseplants that are thriving yet I've still managed to kill several Venus flytraps, they're tricky little buggers.

My all-time least favourite Jack is Blaccent Jack, that one makes me cringe so hard that my sphincter ends up where my mouth should be.
 
VeniVidiVicki said:
I’m thrilled to have a sky sub and thread title. Twice now in the last few months after years of effort!

Can we do polls? I’d like to know least favourite jacks. My least favourite Jack is footie Jack but mainly because I feel sorry for her son. Kermode Jack seems to involve him less and he obviously steers well clear of slop Jack
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Least favourite Jack is ~feelings~ Jack.
 
Mr Krabs said:
Hmm interesting she’s glommed onto the YIMBY movement. It’s not necessarily about supporting building in your area, more about building more homes in general and removing red tape so that prices go down.

Thing is, it’s a very American-centric movement, I won’t drone on about it but essentially it would mean higher density of housing and more city living.

What YIMBYs definitely wouldn’t agree with is a single person living in a massive detached three bed bungamansion on their own. Especially in a car reliant neighbourhood. If she was really a YIMBY she’d be keen to downsize into a one bedroom flat close to amenities and with a close community.
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So YIMBY is prison commissary tamales all over again?
 
Some of the lesser-known Jacks are also awful (as are all Jacks)
Losing the argument Jack, she tried to bring the bible and Jesus in once after she’d been roundly trounced. lol.

Unconsciously Incompetent Jack - declares she’ll make a cake recipe diabetic friendly by replacing sugar with honey or applesauce, buying an American fridge with a lower voltage plug to cut the leccy bill, these are lentils/split peas/mung beans (they weren’t), this letter from the benefits-says it’s cutting someone’s rent (it wasn’t), make sure you claim your working tax credits (doesn’t exist since 5+ years ago)
 
HotesTilaire said:
Some of the lesser-known Jacks are also awful (as are all Jacks)
Losing the argument Jack, she tried to bring the bible and Jesus in once after she’d been roundly trounced. lol.

Unconsciously Incompetent Jack - declares she’ll make a cake recipe diabetic friendly by replacing sugar with honey or applesauce, buying an American fridge with a lower voltage plug to cut the leccy bill, these are lentils/split peas/mung beans (they weren’t), this letter from the benefits-says it’s cutting someone’s rent (it wasn’t), make sure you claim your working tax credits (doesn’t exist since 5+ years ago)
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And asking if she can pull out a radiator and hook up an oven to the ‘gas pipes’ for a friend 🤯🤣
 
My least favourite jack is the one whose performative nonsense would, if it were followed literally, place a massive and unrealistic burden on struggling people.
  • Shopping trips that take more planning than the D-Day Landings, quarterhacks, four laps of ASDA, a calculator, cheap toffees and all
  • Sobriety that even after two years needs three therapists on speed dial and posts on social media about how she's hanging on by her fingernails.
 
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