Jack Monroe #580 It’s time to end the slop show

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witchofwestbyfleet

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Thread title nominated by me, thanks all who voted :) I won’t award myself anything cuz I’m not guest but might treat myself to a SPITE meringue later.

Recap: Labour says it’s time to end the Tory tit show, we say it’s time to end guest’s slop show! After a week of quiet, the snow fell and she was up all night tweeting about being the OLD PERSON in the office, the kids never knew the joy of Fleetwood Mac etc. Remember she’s out of the public eye now, she’s gainfully employed, living a totes private life so never question the grift again. Her Patreon remains up. The auto delete (that she never had in the first place, she swears!) seems to be off for now and she’s evidently going for another timeline cleanse.

She is also breadcrumbing a trans identity again and has been gushing about being a “fish dad” to an aquarium of tropical fish, trying to get the attention of the man who recently went viral over a goldfish on his lawn. Does she have another mark in sight?

As always, we revisited past hits including when she ripped a radiator off the wall and watched her own C-section, and when she was burgered for six hours.

She still hasn’t accounted for the Sue Lee funds.

Wiki up on the pink button!
 
witchofwestbyfleet said:
Thread title nominated by me, thanks all who voted :) I won’t award myself anything cuz I’m not guest but might treat myself to a SPITE meringue later.

Recap: Labour says it’s time to end the Tory tit show, we say it’s time to end guest’s slop show! After a week of quiet, the snow fell and she was up all night tweeting about being the OLD PERSON in the office, the kids never knew the joy of Fleetwood Mac etc. Remember she’s out of the public eye now, she’s gainfully employed, living a totes private life so never question the grift again. Her Patreon remains up. The auto delete (that she never had in the first place, she swears!) seems to be off for now and she’s evidently going for another timeline cleanse.

She is also breadcrumbing a trans identity again and has been gushing about being a “fish dad” to an aquarium of tropical fish, trying to get the attention of the man who recently went viral over a goldfish on his lawn. Does she have another mark in sight?

As always, we revisited past hits including when she ripped a radiator off the wall and watched her own C-section, and when she was burgered for six hours.

She still hasn’t accounted for the Sue Lee funds.

Wiki up on the pink button!
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I think you deserve an award Witchy, prepare yourself for the imminent arrival of a crate of white dog poo and empty cassette tapes from which the brambly mice will have conveniently nibbled any watermeloning details about me.
 
Carrying this over from the last thread because it closed before I could post it-

Baywatch started in 1989 and ran for about ten years. While it was a huge cultural phenomenon and she undoubtedly saw a few episodes it wouldn’t have been a key part of her childhood. If anyone is interested in the insanity that was Baywatch I can highly recommend Alison Pregler’s channel on YouTube. She’s undertaking a long term project to watch, comment on and react to every single episode of Baywatch Its both very funny and breaks down the whole Baywatch universe.
 
HarryPotHead said:
So....no one is gonna talk about the fact she had £2 to visit the cinema while her parents ate a tin of cold beans between them?!

Jack, I suggest a moleskin notebook set aside specifically for your lies
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I’m afraid a singular moleskin notebook just won’t cut it, Tenderhead. It’s got so bad, she’s had to build shelves and put her lies into an archive. A liebrary, if you will.

IMG_2011.jpeg
 
In the perpetual catatonic reprise of utter bollox, Dame Vera Lynn has forgotten that a mere two years ago this very day (less than a week after Harold LEFT her in a crater of charred fragments and a full three days before she told the world she was looking for cock on Tinder and about to marry a teacher), she was a big ol’ Taylor Swift fan.
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And OF COURSE she remembers attending when the popular music concerts of troubadours one listened to on the dog victrola for two pounds fiftypence. She is old enough to remember when tins of tuna were tuppence ha’penny.
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Wonder if she scandalizes the youngsters in the OFFICE with her tales of rearing her child born out of wedlock in Antebellum Alabama a decade ago.
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or that time back there in 1877 2013
she inadvertently flashed a glimpse of ankle at a gentleman like some fallen Victorian lady of the evening. Aka the prostitution part of prostitution and stealing food to survive, 2013.

PS Jack! If we’re having Insufferable Old Fart Jack again, can you please find the young lady in question who gave you such conniptions when you were barely 24 and send her to Tattle? If she’s not already here, that is
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As you yourself might say, Jack…
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Edit: forgot to credit @Marmalade Atkins for the tenderly and soothingly cathartic screenshot at top ❤
 
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I believe she's doing a few hours a week volunteering for some insufferable dogooding charity local thing set up by big chocco, either that or she's volunteering to stuff envelopes at Southend labour HQ. Either way she's not going to be doing more than a couple of hours a week and she won't be being paid. The fact that working in a The Office is so exciting to her that she is tweeting her glasto sized audience about it shows what an entitled lazy privileged princess she is. She's never worked in an office before. It's a novelty.
 
It's time to end the slop show
It's time to ditch the lies
It's time to stop the grifting on the guest show tonight
It's time to pause the patreon
It's time to get a job
It's time to raise the curtain on the Sue Lee money tonight

Why do we always come here
I guess we'll never know
It's like a kind of torture
To have to watch the show*

But now let's grift a sideboard
Why don't you crowd fund a house
It's time to buy a handbag
On the most slopsational, griftirational, entirely fictional, muppetational**
This is what we call the guest Show

*this bit doesn't need changing
** nor does this
 
Valiofthedolls said:
In the perpetual catatonic reprise of utter bollox, Dame Vera Lynn has forgotten that a mere two years ago this very day (less than a week after Harold LEFT her in a crater of charred fragments and a full three days before she told the world she was looking for cock on Tinder and about to marry a teacher), she was a big ol’ Taylor Swift fan.
View attachment 3015777 q
And OF COURSE she remembers attending when the popular music concerts of troubadours one listened to on the dog victrola for two pounds fiftypence. She is old enough to remember when tins of tuna were tuppence ha’penny.
View attachment 3015780 qWonder if she scandalizes the youngsters in the OFFICE with her tales of rearing her child born out of wedlock in Antebellum Alabama a decade ago. View attachment 3015792 q or that time back there in 1877 2013
she inadvertently flashed a glimpse of ankle at a gentleman like some fallen Victorian lady of the evening. Aka the prostitution part of prostitution and stealing food to survive, 2013.

PS Jack! If we’re having Insufferable Old Fart Jack again, can you please find the young lady in question who gave you such conniptions when you were barely 24 and send her to Tattle? If she’s not already here, that is
View attachment 3015821 qAs you yourself might say, Jack…View attachment 3015823 q
Edit: forgot to credit @Marmalade Atkins for the tenderly and soothingly cathartic screenshot at top ❤
Click to expand...

If you read that Taylor Swift tweet in the voice of EB Farnum from Deadwood it makes perfect sense

 
rage naan said:
It's time to end the slop show
It's time to ditch the lies
It's time to stop the grifting on the guest show tonight
It's time to pause the patreon
It's time to get a job
It's time to raise the curtain on the Sue Lee money tonight

Why do we always come here
I guess we'll never know
It's like a kind of torture
To have to watch the show*

But now let's grift a sideboard
Why don't you crowd fund a house
It's time to buy a handbag
On the most slopsational, griftirational, entirely fictional, muppetational**
This is what we call the guest Show

*this bit doesn't need changing
** nor does this
Click to expand...
Brava @rage naan! Superb.
 
I think she's volunteering for Labour in some capacity. i cannot believe she's actually being paid to work.
I predict there will be some kind of tweet about how she brought in a "delicious" lunch and everyone clapped and cheered and "now I'm cooking a three course menu for the whole office somehow I guess??? "
Pathetic bleep.
Also, she was born in 1988. She was 9 when Pammy left Baywatch. None of her memories ring true for that age - they're much more like mine and I'm a decade older #1978Truther
 
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