WhatsApp group:
SMOTF: Have you seen her now? I think she’s trying to rebrand. She’s JustJack now. ROFL
Gordon: Oh
duck off. She’s always been just Jack. The only person who couldn’t
bleeping see it was her, the
twit.
Mom: Now now, tender one, she’s doing no harm.
James: Lard!
Mary: I don’t know, Nigella. There’s a jolly lot of people struggling at the moment and she’s not really helping, is she?
Mom: Huh? Oh sorry Mary. I was just stroking this ladle and looking in the mirror.
Gordon: So what the
duck do we do?
THATMAN: Here’s what you do. You let her into the group.
Nigel: I’m sorry, Jamie but what!?!?
THATMAN: Let. Her. Into. The. Group.
Gordon: Are you having a
bleeping laugh?
THATMAN: LISTEN! Are you paying attention? Thankyou. Now, let’s talk…
… you let me back in and he doesn’t get hurt ok!
Mom: Oh dear Jamie. Trussed up with oatcake-coloured silken fibres, like a corn fed poussin.
Gordon: What. The.
duck.