Jack Monroe #565 Demand 0

[Django]

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Oh mate, I can remember operating a doll's eye switchboard in an advertising agency in Cursitor Street off Fleet Street in the 80s..and I got a lot of electric shocks.
What to make of this, a £5 book voucher for the first person to make sense of it?

 

[phoebuscartel]

Grift, Glaugh, Glove for thread title

It was thread 172 - my personal favourite

Jack Monroe #172 Grift, glaugh, glove

Congratulations to @traumatised sideboard for the words and @Captainmouse for nominating them for a thread title! 🎉 Your joint prize: your choices of whichever inspirational Jack quote you want as a print for your wall. They start here. Recap of last thread She took the wheelchair emoji off...

tattle.life

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Oh mate, I can remember operating a doll's eye switchboard in an advertising agency in Cursitor Street off Fleet Street in the 80s..and I got a lot of electric shocks.
What to make of this, a £5 book voucher for the first person to make sense of it?View attachment 2789764 q

Is it really bad that I instantly know exactly where that steaming pile of shitey ol brittling bollox comes from?! It’s Ol Kev and his pasta.

It’s Not About The Pasta, Kevin. | Jack Monroe – COOKING ON A BOOTSTR…

archived 12 Apr 2022 08:51:07 UTC

archive.is

ETA very bones-heavy. As well as the brittling bones, also contains

waking up starving and shattered to your bones

an agony in my bones from the temperature dropping overnight

I’m absolutely ground down to my bones

And
utterly, heartlessly, knowingly and insistently absolutely wrong

Spoiler: Dear Jack,

Get Fucked.

 

[Clovis]

 

[Django]

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Translation; as I've only ever given birth via a ceasarian section then I will only make you a cake if you shag me.
I have no idea why guest is still single.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Translation; as I've only ever given birth via a ceasarian section then I will only make you a cake if you shag me.
I have no idea why guest is still single.

Given the “cakes” she produces. I have no idea why anyone shags her, either.

ETA more slops cakes

 

[CrushedIcePlease]

Are these still going?
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Have we had I cooked the fish for an hour, in its own defrosting juices as a thread title? If not I feel like we should, it’s just the essence of Jack.

 

[rage naan]

Spoiler

 

[L3moning]

View attachment 2789157 q

Too late, but eh, thread title suggestion

 

[Hollaaa]

Grift, glaugh, glove 2: griftier and glovier

 

[StewPots]

bleeping hell @Valiofthedolls

You could render a house with that pink one….

What a melt she is.

 

[griftalo]

DublinLive made me wheeze today- View attachment 2789052 qView attachment 2789053 q

It was in other papers too, what a twit.

If you don’t use it, what’s the point of getting your money back in that hour? You won’t get anything! Why do they constantly have heating on normally? Ours is on a timer!

 

[Kittypops]

Cinematic interlude from les memes where we eat bread ice cream and go for a smoko on a cannon...

The green shoots of fresh hope spring eternal amongst the red, raw fingers of kerridge. Fly high, sweet cherub, fly eternal.

 

[StewPots]

That pink cake is giving me serious nightmares tbh. It looks like she’s stuck Artex all over it so it will be crunchy ffs.

The USB cake though…love to see it.

 

[Hollaaa]

The black mass resurrection werebunnies kill me every time.

 

[griftalo]

I have a sign for her house

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The black mass resurrection werebunnies kill me every time.

I always imagine they’re olives!
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Spoiler

For frauen unfamiliar, Jack was sucking anchovy butter off her fingers.

That’s not anchovy, that’s her fanny, sprang to mind

 

[Valiofthedolls]

That pink cake is giving me serious nightmares tbh. It looks like she’s stuck Artex all over it so it will be crunchy ffs.

The USB cake though…love to see it.

That pink cake of nightmares. Made of Germolene and Artex

Blackberry applesauce cake, 18p [VG/V/DF]

Last weekend, Small Boy and I headed out to a small area of marshland around a mile from our home, on a blackberry picking mission. We had been promising ourselves for some time that we would do it…

oursouthend.wpcomstaging.com

ETA: yum!

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[AlwightDallin]

Ew. Her cakes are as dense as her fans.

Though…. She could be doing onlyfans?! Only problem is she’d have to do it as a civvie and there’s no section for poverty porn only the real thing. £5 to see her chubby lil thighs (per month) or £10 for a one off pic of her dressed as a Temu peaky blinder / Belle / bra under a denim dungaree. She’d RAKE it in, she could buy some more sobriety chips off eBay or treat herself to a lovely jumpsuit for the first time in her life.

 

[Flivver]

The black mass resurrection werebunnies kill me every time.

It’s just not Easter without a sinister werebunny cake - is it?

 

[Valiofthedolls]

It’s just not Easter without a sinister werebunny cake - is it?

Yeah, nothing quite says Christ’s suffering on the cross like a rabbit tit-strewn fingerprint-smeared cheap smashed up biscuits n’ shredded wheat cake (made by a 34 year old filthy-handed moron), does it?