Jack Monroe #551 Careless Wispa

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I'm getting flashbacks to last year's eel shenanigans. So bizarre. Who on earth wants this for Christmas dinner (but greener and no doubt.slipper)
jellied-eels-with-eel-liquor-sauce-or-parsley-sauce-at-m-manze-pie-DY1HE4.jpg
 
Boogs said:
We will all be sat there on Christmas morning waiting for the Christmas dinner recipe she promised to post when she got back from the school run 3 weeks earlier.
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Waiting for the re-run of the cremated budgie that would feed 8 people generously, with a side of (for the Blackadder buffs) suspicious looking sausages, and no roasties cos everyone said they didn’t want them, like all sane people do at Xmas 🙄
 
MavisBeacon said:
It's not hers, but last Christmas she was apparently doing eels and disturbingly green parsley liquor for Christmas dinner. Poor SB, I hope he had a lovely time away from her performative nonsense
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Imagine acting like a desperate attention seeking teenager AS A JOB. She was branding this her Rather Renegade Christmas ("duck the rules"). Apart from a couple of die hards, the response was a resounding "That sounds bleeping disgusting" (paraphrasing here) and she never mentioned it again. Quite the Widdle Wenegade.
 
StewPots said:
What goes on in her bleeping head?! What child ( or anyone of sane standing for that matter ) wants eels on Christmas Day EVER?!
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Fixed that for you.
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Right, now where do I start...I had a Jack dream just before I woke this morning and you lot of ninnies had starring rolls. It was the weirdest dream you could think of. It has all got a bit hazy (I often quickly forget a dream, but remember the gist of it) so here goes with what I remember...

The UK had been taken over by a foreign force (may have been aliens?) and on the day of take over there was something about eating the same food for ever more. We were being used as an experiment for some reason.

Jack was a quisling, being her smarmy self whilst pretending to be one of the people. You ninnies voted for me to be a spy and get dirt on her, which I did. I went to some sort of meeting where I sat next to Jack and she had on that grey pov jumper.

She smelt terrible so I told her and gave her some sort of body spray and she chucked it back at me saying something about it not being expensive enough. When I reported back, all you lot were interested in was what she smelt like.

There was lots of other stuff going on, spaceships, Jack trying to be sexy, a man trying it on with me after he had it off with Jack, but it's all muddled up in my head.
 
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MancBee said:
Fixed that for you.
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Right, now where do I start...I had a Jack dream just before I woke this morning and you lot of ninnies had starring rolls. It was the weirdest dream you could think of. It has all got a bit hazy (I often quickly forget a dream, but remember the gist of it) so here goes with what I remember...

The UK had been taken over by a foreign force (may have been aliens?) and on the day of take over there was something about eating the same food for ever more. We were being used as an experiment for some reason.

Jack was a quisling, being her smarmy self whilst pretending to be one of the people. You ninnies voted for me to be a spy and get dirt on her, which I did. I went to some sort of meeting where I sat next to Jack and she had on that grey pov jumper.

She smelt terrible so I told her and gave her some sort of body spray and she chucked it back at me saying something about it not being expensive enough. When I reported back, all you lot were interested in was what she smelt like.

There was lots of other stuff going on, spaceships, Jack trying to be sexy, a man trying it on with me after he had it off with Jack, but it's all muddled up in my head.
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Ooh, you'd make an excellent spy, what with your charm and suave manners.😁
 
blueorchid said:
We’re going to get a Xmas dinner chaos aren’t we? Stuffing granules will be involved in some terrible way - possibly on a trifle

🎄
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Crimbleytime Trifle

Save some old crusts of bread, soak in some tinned mandarin juice you stored in an old shoe. Go foraging for some of those festive white berries on your neighbours bush, don’t give a thought to if they are poisonous or not (no one will eat it anyway).
Press bread firmly down in an old pedal bin. Pour on any remaining juice.
Air fry the bin

Gently place your berries on top.
Make a custard from anchovy tin oil and soy milk - in the nutribullet. If you’re too pov to own one, glue a vibrator to a jam jar instead. Add your slop custard to the pedal bin.
Whip up some aquafaba to make “cream”, and spread on the trifle.
Lastly, spray some stuffing mix crumbs with rose gold spray paint and fling casually on top.
Go round to the pub nearby and fish a cherry out of an abandoned glass, lick any residue off. Place atop the painted crumbs and voila!
Merry gastroenteritis
 
Onestorytoomany said:
I always find it interesting how we never seen a pap pic of her out walking the dog, looking like she has been burgering all night, or standing on the patio of some holiday apartment with her latest beau, looking pissed because hes only shagging her for her fame, but their never is. I mean even the one hot wonders get a where are they now mention.
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Ah but you see, it's because of the sleeves, tricking the paps.
 
Valiofthedolls said:
The Masked Slop Slinger

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Forget the mask, why is she wearing SB's school uniform?
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Lazarus said:
Imagine having such misplaced confidence that you'd think a book telling people to use carabiners and an old cloth to drain pasta, rather than spend a quid on a seive would get you a forever home?
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She wants to try her amazing charity shops for that. I mean, she knows chazzers in which one can apparently pick up a Vivienne Westwood scarf for 50p, they must be selling second hand sieves for a ha'penny bit in there.
 
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