Jack Monroe #548 Recipes that come with a side of electrocution and burnt down house for pudding

[Valiofthedolls]

Just noticed this in the @VeniVidiVicki haul

Mither DV, unaliving

Spoiler

That’s a grim choice of expression and a very odd one for someone who has claimed multiple times she experienced violent assaults from more than one intimate partner (including a separate highly detailed claim on her blog just 5 months before the Gloss post above)

Mind you, this below is also an odd choice of expression from someone who later claims at this time she was a “wraith” who could go for weeks without speaking to another human being and who has also (years later) luridly claimed multiple times she attempted suicide in a bath at the end of July 2012. So less than 2 1/2 months after writing this.

bleeping GHOUL. Oh and LIAR.

 

[MavisBeacon]

Just noticed this in the @VeniVidiVicki haul
View attachment 2530864 q

Upwards of £35 on a makeup palette that she doesn't even know how to use... https://www.urbandecay.co.uk/en_GB/makeup-palettes/naked-heat/ud854.html
Tell me you have a compulsive spending problem without etc etc etc

The sad thing is, I completely recognise this behaviour because I've had it myself. I went through a phase of buying a lot of makeup when I was depressed (although not nearly as spenny as guest's tastes - more Collection 2000 than Urban Decay), because I thought it would make me feel better about myself. Unlike Guest, I was spending my own hard-earned money and always within my means, not claiming to be poor or setting up grifty kickstarter campaigns.

I have come to believe that all her financial problems since she lost her fire service job (and was, in her own words, earning 40K a year adding up all the moonlighting) are the result of her compulsive shopping of all sorts of things, from Kate Spade handbags to lipstick to Denby China to tat from wilko's to 16 filing cabinets, to the multiple skiploads of clutter that she has had to remove over the years, as well as the private prescription/dodgy drugs.

I wish she would come out and be honest about it. The Shattenstone article did strongly hint at this, but I don't think she can really come out properly about it as it torpedoes her argument that poverty is all about the EBIL TORIES and COST OF LIVING rather than a shopping and drug addiction, which obviously is less sympathetic to the rage nans and lefty neckbeards than being a poor single mum struggle on benefits.

She lives on cheap slop and can't buy her own forever home because she has had hundreds of thousands of pounds go through her hands over the years. It is a compulsion/addiction and I hope she can overcome it, but also CLOSE YOUR PATREON YOU LYING GRIFTER and get a proper job.

 

[TrolleyParton]

"For as long as I can still hold these brushes [/sniff]"
The intervening years seem to have gone easy on the old RA don't they? Oh wait, no. Just before her birthday (totes co-ince) she had filled in that questionnaire to say she can only just about manage a spoon. Poor mite. I wonder how she managed to apply make-up in the back of that Portrait Mode Mini, wasn't she on the way to a speaking gig where she did Kit deWaal's make-up too? LJC it may be a bona-fide miracle!

Nobody can even comment on the bullshit RA claims as she'll just come out with the Internet Munchies' war cry of "But muh fluctuating condition!!!" (This is meaning no offence to any frauen dealing with chronic illnesses or disabilities, I understand many conditions do indeed fluctuate, but I'm sure we're all more than familiar with these disabled influencers who magically never have a flare up when there's a freebie event to go to....)

Anyway, her make-up skills are about on par with mine, and that's why I don't wear make-up.

 

[YerDa]

Nobody can even comment on the bullshit RA claims as she'll just come out with the Internet Munchies' war cry of "But muh fluctuating condition!!!" (This is meaning no offence to any frauen dealing with chronic illnesses or disabilities, I understand many conditions do indeed fluctuate, but I'm sure we're all more than familiar with these disabled influencers who magically never have a flare up when there's a freebie event to go to....)

This is so true and so frustrating. I have friends with chronic conditions who vary in their capabilities and mood depending on how their bodies are on a given day. However if they were grifting charlatans I’d lay bets the local press would have no qualms in tracking them down and reporting on them because it’s not an excuse for being a lying, corrupt waste of space making a packet off the backs of pretending to help the povs. Guest is getting a free ride by the media for no good reason and it HAS to stop. I hope the Ingram-Moore case opens the door to a more robust approach to everyone grifting money that should be going (and people think is going) to those in need.

 

[Foxvint]

You know that story you might hear about how the people you regularly see begging on your local High Street are dropped off early in the morning by a shiny new luxury car? She's the internet version of that. Money pouring in from kind hearted folk ker-ching every time she wheels out the fictional little boy whose shoes are too tight or who doesn't expect much for Christmas. I reckon you're 100% right, @Cat Face

The dodgy 1 by mine doesn't do earlies or weekends cos he's not out of bed yet an he wears both a rosary and Buddhist prayer beads to cover all bases with the God squad. You've gotta respect that hustle for the funny factor. Not Jack's though the arrogant mugger.

 

[SouthendRealEstate]

I know exactly what you mean - she reminds me of those dolls (toys?) with little legs and enormous boots.
You *can* pull off skirt + Docs, but it's difficult to do if you are, er, vertically challenged IMVHO.
No offense to any of the small but exquisitely formed ninnies, you are of course perfect (and with better taste).
She can't even do Docs right.

Thread Title Nomination!!
“She can’t even do Docs right”

 

[phoebuscartel]

Where grift began, I can't begin to knowing

But then I know it's grifting strong

Was in the spring

And spring became the summer

Who'd have believed you'd slop along

Hands, touching bowls

Reaching out, touching me, touching spoon,

Slop Caroline

Grift times never seemed so good

I've been peripatetically inclined

To believe they always would

But now I

Look at the night and it seems so lonely

We filled it up with only two bowls

And when I hurt

Hurting rubs off my shoulders

How I hurt when holding you

One, ouching one

Reaching out, ouching me, ouching you

Slop Caroline

Grift times never seemed so good

I've been inclined

To believe they always would

Oh no, no

Slop Caroline

Grift times never seemed so good

Slop Caroline

I believe they always could

Slop Caroline

Grift times never seemed so good

Hands, touching bowls

thread title nomination

 

[Livia Fantasy]

Maybe when she said “her DMs were a binfire” this is actually what she meant

 

[rage naan]

Upwards of £35 on a makeup palette that she doesn't even know how to use... https://www.urbandecay.co.uk/en_GB/makeup-palettes/naked-heat/ud854.html
Tell me you have a compulsive spending problem without etc etc etc

The sad thing is, I completely recognise this behaviour because I've had it myself. I went through a phase of buying a lot of makeup when I was depressed (although not nearly as spenny as guest's tastes - more Collection 2000 than Urban Decay), because I thought it would make me feel better about myself. Unlike Guest, I was spending my own hard-earned money and always within my means, not claiming to be poor or setting up grifty kickstarter campaigns.

I have come to believe that all her financial problems since she lost her fire service job (and was, in her own words, earning 40K a year adding up all the moonlighting) are the result of her compulsive shopping of all sorts of things, from Kate Spade handbags to lipstick to Denby China to tat from wilko's to 16 filing cabinets, to the multiple skiploads of clutter that she has had to remove over the years, as well as the private prescription/dodgy drugs.

I wish she would come out and be honest about it. The Shattenstone article did strongly hint at this, but I don't think she can really come out properly about it as it torpedoes her argument that poverty is all about the EBIL TORIES and COST OF LIVING rather than a shopping and drug addiction, which obviously is less sympathetic to the rage nans and lefty neckbeards than being a poor single mum struggle on benefits.

She lives on cheap slop and can't buy her own forever home because she has had hundreds of thousands of pounds go through her hands over the years. It is a compulsion/addiction and I hope she can overcome it, but also CLOSE YOUR PATREON YOU LYING GRIFTER and get a proper job.

Absolutely this. The one underlying thing that would make the most sense of all her bizarre actions is a shopping addiction. It explains why she felt she couldn't ask her mum & dad for help, it explains the bailiffs coming round. I reckon she racked up a load of credit card/ store card/ payday loan debt. But she can't admit it because she's shown she believes in the "deserving/ undeserving poor" myth and thinks she can only be respected if she's not a tracksuit wearing Jeremy Kyle watcher.
It explains the obsession with " I only spent 12p on my shop this week" too. She wants so very much for you to think she's careful with money. This makes a great deal of sense if she actually can't stop spending. No one thinks being told a recipe cost 43p this week is useful information. It's just performing to hide her problem.

 

[Seaford Haggington]

Absolutely this. The one underlying thing that would make the most sense of all her bizarre actions is a shopping addiction. It explains why she felt she couldn't ask her mum & dad for help, it explains the bailiffs coming round. I reckon she racked up a load of credit card/ store card/ payday loan debt. But she can't admit it because she's shown she believes in the "deserving/ undeserving poor" myth and thinks she can only be respected if she's not a tracksuit wearing Jeremy Kyle watcher.
It explains the obsession with " I only spent 12p on my shop this week" too. She wants so very much for you to think she's careful with money. This makes a great deal of sense if she actually can't stop spending. No one thinks being told a recipe cost 43p this week is useful information. It's just performing to hide her problem.

Irregular lump sums would be the worst kind of income for someone like that. Can see why so many of her grifts have involved crowdfunding.

 

[MrsFawlty]

Hold on a moment - is it possible the radio silence is due to her finally getting a real, proper job?

Spoiler: Answer

Don't be daft this is Jack we're talking about! Had you for a moment didn't I?

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Maybe when she said “her DMs were a binfire” this is actually what she meant

Jack’s DMs. Forever Kissing the sides of the sea with black leather and white laces. Just a ghost train.

Also Kissing the sides of the sea with Single White Female Leggy brown leather and brown laces

Kissing the sides of the sea in Teresa May’s bestest leopardprint calf-hair Russell and Bromley slip-ons, suitable for all outfits and occasions.

And a second identical pair in leather (and no laces)

Kissing the sides of the sea in Uncle Dennis’s hob nailed work boots, a nylon undergarment aka “a nice petti”, and a bearskin hussar’s hat.

And Kissing the sides of the sea in Aunty Pat’s strappy “Christmas Do at the golf club, 1987” Dolcis best and 10 denier pop socks.

Just a Ghost Train.

 

[MurielSnark]

Irregular lump sums would be the worst kind of income for someone like that. Can see why so many of her grifts have involved crowdfunding.

Agree with all of this.

It looks like Jack bought a lot of her stuff in mad spending sprees. A good example is the multiple filing cabinets she seems to have had in her garage or shed and then apparently gave away during her alleged house move earlier this year -- she must have spaffed a huge amount in that purchase but who really buys many, many filing cabinets, of all things, unless they're a business? Which she definitely is not, despite her cos playing.

Same goes for multiple Cotswold items, multiples of designer Viv (RIP) etc; huge collections of laptops / cameras / lighting kits / mobile phones. Changing the colour of her kitchen appliances several times over the course of a decade, just for a whim.

It deffo looks like solitary internet shopping, with a handy card. To compensate for some sort of emptiness or lack of something.

I recognise this behaviour because I can go down this route too sometimes, when my mental health is poor and I'm feeling out of control in my broader life, shopping can be a distraction and a little endorphin buzz. It makes sense that Jack has had large amounts of unaccountable cash flowing into her coffers and an existing problematic behaviour was amplified.

Her carelessness with the stuff, to the point of losing so much of it, ruining it, messing it up with paint or other "adaptations", is significant -- it's not so much HAVING the stuff that makes her feel good but the BUYING of it. That's why she has boxes of unpacked shopping too.

It also explains some of her deeply unsensible actions, like buying luxury goods as insurance but then not buying actual insurance. The feelgood factor of a new frock is not the same as taking out an insurance policy.

The "forensic" attention to detail in costing a plate of terrible food is a shield that she can use to deflect criticism. And, even though WE all know her food economics is bogus, it's given her a very handy cover and allowed her to make false claims about being really thrifty and good with money. She's anything but. And I know this because I recognise this behaviour in myself.

AND, AND. AND... none of this excuses the fraud. the lying and the ongoing grift. Bad mental health is not a get-out for the consequences of her actions unless she has a clinical diagnosis of diminished capacity. Which she does not.

 

[TrolleyParton]

To be fair to guest for a moment, it must be absolutely galling to have spent that much money on clothes yet still look so utterly tit.
It takes a lof of money to look this tit, to paraphrase my beloved Dolly.

 

[MaineCoonMama]

Jack’s DMs. Forever Kissing the sides of the sea with black leather and white laces. Just a ghost train.

View attachment 2531060 q

Also Kissing the sides of the sea with Single White Female Leggy brown leather and brown laces
View attachment 2531075 q
Kissing the sides of the sea in Teresa May’s bestest leopardprint calf-hair Russell and Bromley slip-ons, suitable for all outfits and occasions.
View attachment 2531076 qView attachment 2531077 qAnd a second identical pair in leather (and no laces)
View attachment 2531078 qKissing the sides of the sea in Uncle Dennis’s hob nailed work boots, an undergarment aka “a nice petti”, and a bearskin hussar’s hat.
View attachment 2531090 q
And Kissing the sides of the sea in Aunty Pat’s strappy “Christmas Do at the golf club, 1987” Dolcis best and 10 denier pop socks.
View attachment 2531082 q
Just a Ghost Train.

The last photo is so...confusing? Jarring? The tie needs to be skinnier to go with the rest of the 80s aesthetic, the traaaazers give her frogs legs and the shoes are just there for no reason?
I mean, I know they're encasing her feet but they're not working.

TL;DR she looks like a wanker

 

[MurielSnark]

To be fair to guest for a moment, it must be absolutely galling to have spent that much money on clothes yet still look so utterly tit.
It takes a lof of money to look this tit, to paraphrase my beloved Dolly.

Your Dolly is a whizz with money, though @TrolleyParton. She's famously great at business.

 

[griftalo]

Jack’s DMs. Forever Kissing the sides of the sea with black leather and white laces. Just a ghost train.

View attachment 2531060 q

Also Kissing the sides of the sea with Single White Female Leggy brown leather and brown laces
View attachment 2531075 q
Kissing the sides of the sea in Teresa May’s bestest leopardprint calf-hair Russell and Bromley slip-ons, suitable for all outfits and occasions.
View attachment 2531076 qView attachment 2531077 qAnd a second identical pair in leather (and no laces)
View attachment 2531078 qKissing the sides of the sea in Uncle Dennis’s hob nailed work boots, a nylon undergarment aka “a nice petti”, and a bearskin hussar’s hat.
View attachment 2531090 q
And Kissing the sides of the sea in Aunty Pat’s strappy “Christmas Do at the golf club, 1987” Dolcis best and 10 denier pop socks.
View attachment 2531082 q
Just a Ghost Train.

How does someone fairly slim manage to look like a fat station controller (pic one).
Last picture whaaaattheactualfuccck is this? Looks like halfmumhalfdad dressing up.
The tights with the leopard shoes. Good grief. I’m willing to bet that her mum thinks next and Debenhams are the epitome of style because I’m sure no one in her life has any clue about fashion. No offense to anyone who shops at either, they have perfectly decent clothes but it’s not high fashion.

I know what she wanted to pull off with the blue shirt blazer blue socks pic but it’s missed the mark so badly. It needs to be ironed before getting creases from the journey there for a start. She looks like she stepped out of a wardrobe she fell asleep in.

 

[Lazarus]

Absolutely this. The one underlying thing that would make the most sense of all her bizarre actions is a shopping addiction. It explains why she felt she couldn't ask her mum & dad for help, it explains the bailiffs coming round. I reckon she racked up a load of credit card/ store card/ payday loan debt. But she can't admit it because she's shown she believes in the "deserving/ undeserving poor" myth and thinks she can only be respected if she's not a tracksuit wearing Jeremy Kyle watcher.
It explains the obsession with " I only spent 12p on my shop this week" too. She wants so very much for you to think she's careful with money. This makes a great deal of sense if she actually can't stop spending. No one thinks being told a recipe cost 43p this week is useful information. It's just performing to hide her problem.

This is a smashing post, Naan.

 

[Livia Fantasy]

IMHO her best look of all those ^ is the Cherie Blair one.

Looks great:

a) because you wouldn't recognise her
b) she's pretending to be someone else

 

[Lazarus]

View attachment 2531076 q

I totally get the heavy bag is probably pulling her jacket down a bit. I probably look a bit dishevelled myself when i'm on my way to the office with my laptop bag, work books, reading book, packed lunch etc. Even taking all of that into account, is this the worst fitting suit and shirt ever? i think it is.
I, however, partly think its deliberate. I think she bought it from Matalan or somewhere to match the 'i'm just a poor, single mother baked bean blogger wearing a nice suit to look presentable to you, M'lud' - even though it flies in the face of the R&B shoes and Mulberry bag.

Unbelievable to think that she later called this something like the worst week of her life with rotten butterflies on a cork pin board, whilst simultaneously posting on the Lady Gloss page.