Jack Monroe #548 Recipes that come with a side of electrocution and burnt down house for pudding

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I'm watching Saturday Kitchen. The difference between the majority of guests on it, and Jack, is that they are outward looking, wanting to talk about their food/restaurants in an engaging way that might make other people want to cook.

Guest is only interested in promoting herself, and her need for future opportunities.
 
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I'm watching Saturday Kitchen. The difference between the majority of guests on it, and Jack, is that they are outward looking, wanting to talk about their food/restaurants in an engaging way that might make other people want to cook.

Guest is only interested in promoting herself, and her need for future opportunities.
When you said ‘majority of guests’ on SK you struck so much fear in me that I nearly hauled my tv off the wall!
 
I am looking forward to the upcoming two year anniversary of the announcement of the VBI. Still pinned to the hellsite profile, despite no progress being made on it whatsoever. Haven't decided how to celebrate yet.

The best part is guset will never be able to prove us wrong and make us reconsider our opinions of her because she's lazy and incompetent.

Hell, she could dream up a scheme to make a million quid per week but either feck it to buggery because, well, track record, or else not bother getting off her mediterranean arse because, well, track record, for so long that someone else comes up with the same idea and actually makes it work.
 
I wonder which version of InternetDating Jack they fell for?
Festivals and Hiking (University of Essex) JackView attachment 2522837 qView attachment 2522839 q

Bon Vivant Gourmet Soul Singer Jack (of the Leather n’ Denim)

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Shy Awkward Girlish Armour (High Heels and Higher Hemlines) Jack
View attachment 2522843 qOh, and the muscles

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The "Ronseal" quote still makes me want to set fire to something. What tin? Where does it say exactly what you'll get? Because "pocket rocket" is not that, is it. It's a metaphor. You aren't talking about a firework that you put in your pocket. Gaaaah she's so annoying.

As for the shy awkward hilarious sweary easily angered will hurt you if you don't laugh at her jokes, but is also too shy to talk unless you get her pissed first profile. Why waste so many words when you could just say " not like other girls, pick me" ?
 
Again, WHY does she think she is muscular?! 😫 I've seen more tone and definition in a blancmange.
It’s bizarrely fascinating isn’t it.

Muscly Jack describes herself thus on 15th Jan 2013.

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Muscly Jack ACTUALLY looks like this at the time.
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Oops! Wrong photo! How did that get in there? I’m so embarrassed.

Muscly Jack actually looks like THIS at the time
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I think we need a monthly calendar of celebratory guest days, there's so many of them now and I need to organise my time.
It’s coming up ten years since she fingerbanged a lasagne and declared a REVOLUTION

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In fact ten years ago this very day she made an abomination out of dried milk, flour and oil
Oh and it’s coming up a year (on Halloween) since the smol scampering pixie who means well came out with a load of excuses for the Teemill shitshow that was EVERYONE ELSE’S FAULT.
 
The "Ronseal" quote still makes me want to set fire to something. What tin? Where does it say exactly what you'll get? Because "pocket rocket" is not that, is it. It's a metaphor. You aren't talking about a firework that you put in your pocket. Gaaaah she's so annoying.
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While (current silent streak aside) she’s certainly not any of these things
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She is a bleeping tool tho
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The "Ronseal" quote still makes me want to set fire to something. What tin? Where does it say exactly what you'll get? Because "pocket rocket" is not that, is it. It's a metaphor. You aren't talking about a firework that you put in your pocket. Gaaaah she's so annoying.

As for the shy awkward hilarious sweary easily angered will hurt you if you don't laugh at her jokes, but is also too shy to talk unless you get her pissed first profile. Why waste so many words when you could just say " not like other girls, pick me" ?
I think of this every time her dating profile is mentioned.
 
I think some of you may be reading too much into the Ronseal thing. She says she is an absolute Ronseal human being: does what it says on the tin. So we can assume that the aforementioned "tin" is her self-identification as a human being.
She is merely reassuring any potential suitor that regardless irregardless of what their own instincts may tell them, she is not an alien lifeform or some sort of demonic imp but rather a bipedal mammalian resident of Planet Earth.
Give the upright primate a break, folks.
 
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