Jack Monroe #532 Borbenheimer. Sloppenborber. Borbenslopper.

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VeniVidiVicki said:
5 years on, she’s acquired at least 2 CCJs and had her company compulsorily struck off 🥰

Good job Experian marketing team 👍
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I agree that she was…erm…an INTERESTING choice for a firm like Experian, but what I find really crazy is just how many big mainstream corporates (Sainsbo, Experian, even Dell I think?) were offering her work back in 2014, and how she could’ve had a hugely lucrative career being the approachable face of big corporate brands, if she’d just smiled and kept her mouth shut, but she epically SCREWED IT ALL UP for herself because she couldn’t stop herself publicly insulting disabled children who’d passed away.

And then had the sheer gall to blame everyone else (but especially dEr eBiL tOriEs) rather than the one culprit….herself.

Other than Miss Ariana Grande and Miss Lizzo, has any other celeb in recent memory really faceplanted quite this badly?
 
moldwarp said:
Extraordinary. She must be the only rough sleeper in the world who’s ever “lain in” (without the rozzers moving them on) and then been awoken to a fortnum and mason hamper.

Incredible.

Also, did she really say that in her acceptance speech? What a brass plated twit.
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This “11 Days with Small Boy” ordure suggests very strongly that she always had limited custody of him. She seems surprised by the way he dresses himself, but even when he attended Sure Start she’d still have had to dress him in the mornings, so why does she suddenly now find it so surprising?
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This gives me the rage something terrible.
He doesn't know what the bleeping cats are called? She doesn't know he can't dress himself? She doesn't know what he likes to eat? Truly, she is the singliest single mum to have ever single mummed.
Also, I thought she didn't want to leave SB with anyone else in case he grew up to be feral???
I wonder what precipitated this most disruptive bout of childcare... Where does February 2013 sit in the timeline? Was this around the time SB's dad's new baby had health problems?
 
Valiofthedolls said:
Ah don’t worry, it’s ok (for Jack). She’s not like the other girls. Despite having a child to raise ALONE, spending time with him was a rarity back then due to her “hectic schedule”.

#NotLikeTheOtherSingleMums.
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Lucky she’s got Gingerbread who allow her to “identify as” a single mum innit?

ETA I don’t think she had him anywhere near full (or even half) time, even back then.
she barely knew him or what he liked even when he was almost threeView attachment 2351867 qView attachment 2351868 q
web.archive.org

11 Days With Small Boy: Column for the Echo & Gazette, 12th Feb.

It's been 11 days now since Small Boy has attended nursery. For a Mum who was used to sending her little cherub off into the capable and happy hands of the local Sure Start centre, suddenly finding...
web.archive.org web.archive.org
this “the newspaper” article of hers speaks volumes about who and what she is, not least the fact she chose to write and put the effing thing out there in public in the first place
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I can't get to the end of that bleeping bilge, however, I got as far as her discovering that children enjoy baths and... three meals a day? And she thinks this is noteworthy? HELLO LOOK AT ME I'VE HAD TO FEED AND WASH MY OWN SMALL CHILD, AREN'T I MARVELLOUS?

There's a snake eating its own eggs somewhere with more maternal instinct.

Is she educationally subnormal or what? That poor child. She talks about him with zero warmth. The only person she refers to with any affection is herself.
 
nothanksbabes said:
I can't get to the end of that bleeping bilge, however, I got as far as her discovering that children enjoy baths and... three meals a day? And she thinks this is noteworthy? HELLO LOOK AT ME I'VE HAD TO FEED AND WASH MY OWN SMALL CHILD, AREN'T I MARVELLOUS?

There's a snake eating its own eggs somewhere with more maternal instinct.
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Oh he doesn't get the bath - she does:
" I have discovered the healing power of a long, albeit lukewarm, bath after he is finally in bed, "
web.archive.org

11 Days With Small Boy: Column for the Echo & Gazette, 12th Feb.

It's been 11 days now since Small Boy has attended nursery. For a Mum who was used to sending her little cherub off into the capable and happy hands of the local Sure Start centre, suddenly finding...
web.archive.org web.archive.org
bleep.
 
Valiofthedolls said:
Ah don’t worry, it’s ok (for Jack). She’s not like the other girls. Despite having a child to raise ALONE, spending time with him was a rarity back then due to her “hectic schedule”.

#NotLikeTheOtherSingleMums.
View attachment 2351834 qView attachment 2351835 q
Lucky she’s got Gingerbread who allow her to “identify as” a single mum innit?

ETA I don’t think she had him anywhere near full (or even half) time, even back then.
she barely knew him or what he liked even when he was almost threeView attachment 2351867 qView attachment 2351868 q
web.archive.org

11 Days With Small Boy: Column for the Echo & Gazette, 12th Feb.

It's been 11 days now since Small Boy has attended nursery. For a Mum who was used to sending her little cherub off into the capable and happy hands of the local Sure Start centre, suddenly finding...
web.archive.org web.archive.org
this “the newspaper” article of hers speaks volumes about who and what she is, not least the fact she chose to write and put the effing thing out there in public in the first place
Click to expand...

She bemoans “preparing three meals and two snacks a day because that’s what he was used to at nursery and it’s not worth the temper tantrums trying to change it just yet.” Change it to what? Is this an abnormal eating schedule for a child, or anyone? Am I missing something?
 
moldwarp said:
Also, did she really say that in her acceptance speech? What a brass plated twit.
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Oh she was extremely pleased with herself about that one.
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And
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And EVERYONE ON TWITTER CLAPPED AND CHEERED AND SAID IT WAS THE BEST EVER!
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W⚓

lol tho I do like that she couldn’t even keep her story quite straight about even that pile of bollox.
 
MurielSnark said:
This jumps out:
" I’ve discovered that most arguments can be resolved with a tickle fight, which I always win, because i’m bigger and an expert tickler."

JM knows nothing about children and their right to bodily autonomy. I used to play tickle games with small people too but not to win an argument and never to exert my bigger size or strength over them. And I always, always stopped if they said "enough" or "I don't like it". Wouldn't even start if they said it upfront.

For a kid, knowing that they have an absolute right not to have their personal space invaded is a crucial lesson.
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You are right, but this never happened in Jack’s case.
 
MurielSnark said:
This jumps out:
" I’ve discovered that most arguments can be resolved with a tickle fight, which I always win, because i’m bigger and an expert tickler."

JM knows nothing about children and their right to bodily autonomy.

For a kid, knowing that they have an absolute right not to have their personal space invaded is a crucial lesson.
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Amen to that Dear Muriel Snark ♥️
 
MavisBeacon said:
Oh he doesn't get the bath - she does:
" I have discovered the healing power of a long, albeit lukewarm, bath after he is finally in bed, "
web.archive.org

11 Days With Small Boy: Column for the Echo & Gazette, 12th Feb.

It's been 11 days now since Small Boy has attended nursery. For a Mum who was used to sending her little cherub off into the capable and happy hands of the local Sure Start centre, suddenly finding...
web.archive.org web.archive.org
bleep.
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I genuinely couldn't read any further. As ever I have given a narcissist too much credit.

I know kids can be hard work, but there's absolutely no joy or warmth communicated here. At best it's like she's an alien who has been asked to observe a human child for a day. It's so incredibly sad.

Why do these horrors manage to find a half decent bloke to reproduce with (or at least one who hangs around long enough for the kid to learn the word "dad") and I can't get a bleeping text back? She has all the sex appeal of month old prawn sandwich, looks like she could eat an apple through a letterbox and can't even pretend to be pleasant for ten minutes?!
 
11 days with your own child, woah, hold the front page Mr Murdoch. A bottle of whisky and 40 trammies a day would certainly mess with your recollection of what he likes to eat of course.

To frau and herren downhearted thinking it'll be 3 or 4 years til the Free Money Patreon grift peters out: it ain't necessarily so. There's likely to be a sudden and abrupt drop off as she gets to that tipping point of public rejection. Speaking appearances at Green Christian fezzies (😴) aren't sending out any sort of publicity flare. Her online presence is a bin fire. She can't tweet without being asked where the stolen Sue Lee money is. It's looking grim for her. If you can't promote yourself you're forgotten about. Once she's been at that point for a while the subscribers will drop faster than her knickers when she sees a gold Amex.
 
MurielSnark said:
This jumps out:
" I’ve discovered that most arguments can be resolved with a tickle fight, which I always win, because i’m bigger and an expert tickler."

JM knows nothing about children and their right to bodily autonomy. I used to play tickle games with small people too but not to win an argument and never to exert my bigger size or strength over them. And I always, always stopped if they said "enough" or "I don't like it". Wouldn't even start if they said it upfront.

For a kid, knowing that they have an absolute right not to have their personal space invaded is a crucial lesson.
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Also what kind of parent boasts about “winning” over their very young child in anything?
 
DianeAbbotsMojito said:
I bleeping hear you, frau. I HATE HATE HATE how she photographs her hands holding bowls of slop and this is the worst in the genre.
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The top of the custard looks like pus, I hate the general threatening aura of her brandishing her wound trifle at the camera, she looks like a 90s German footballer sorry kickyballer with that bleeping hair, I hate it all I'm sorry.
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Valiofthedolls said:
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Grrrrrrr NO YOU bleeping WEREN’T! You flounced out of your job in mid November 2011 one month after you’d chosen to move into a “luxury executive two bedroom” Royal Mews apartment for £725 a month, that you could still “apparently afford” the rent on a year later.
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It fucks me off no end that this grifting charlatan was platformed by the Guardian and sooooo many others to offer nonsensical and downright dangerous “advice” based on something of which she has literally zero bleeping experience, and that even the bare minimum of due diligence back then (or ever) would have demonstrated was all bullshit.
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Thank you for your forensic record keeping and bang-on summaries about The Grift.

She fucks me off too! And yet, she still has a platform** to spout her lies to gullible audiences.

We’ve said it on here before - you have to admire the bloody cheek of her. She believes her own bullshit, she really does. It’s become her ‘truth’ even though evidence to the contrary is available for anyone with an iota of critical thinking to see.

**ETA - ever decreasing platform - thankfully!
 
Valiofthedolls said:
Oh she was extremely pleased with herself about that one. View attachment 2351932 qView attachment 2351926 qAnd
View attachment 2351934 qView attachment 2351935 qAnd EVERYONE ON TWITTER CLAPPED AND CHEERED AND SAID IT WAS THE BEST EVER!
View attachment 2351938 qView attachment 2351939 q
W⚓

lol tho I do like that she couldn’t even keep her story quite straight about even that pile of bollox.
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She literally does not know when to give an anecdote a rest. She has about five anecdotes and she’s been using them for ten years. Sometimes she tarts them up a bit, sometimes she tones them down. But she’s so entitled and complacent that it never, ever occurs to her that she ought to vary her material.

Does anyone remember that country singer Meredith Brooks who had just one single hit, witch, in the 90s? All of her other songs were dreadful but she hit lucky with that one, and it proceeded to pay all her bills even though she grew to hate it, especially playing it live. Well Jack’s like that. Bread and Jam is her witch. She probably really likes the song witch too. It’s the kind of song a basic white girl like Jack probably thinks is really deep and meaningful.
 
Slop n slide said:
Treated myself to a little wander through her insta and I fully LOLLED at this (pic below behind spoiler).

Caption reads 'Caroline's breakfast. Two ingredient mushroom and onion soup with an egg poached into it. (I had the same without the egg). Lovely lovely morning, if a very tired one.'

Good grief, poor Caroline. Can you imagine being presented with that by your boss who is a professional food writer with many published recipe books?! What an absolute joker.

Pull the other one, you grifting snarklord, it's got inexplicable eggs on.

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Satan’s phlegm bowl for thread title nomination, m’luds
 
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