View attachment 174982 q
I'll do it.
You'll get
Genuinely Disabled (complete with the medication stored in the not-£3000 fridge and the kitchen cupboard with non-temperature controlled medication in shot)
Talks openly about it (because having
tit genetics and an immune system that hates being idle is nothing to be ashamed about) when I can be bothered because I'm
bleeping bored after over 40 years of it.
Uses various, cheap items (such as a £2 knife sharpener, a £30 microwave, a £5 jar opener or a free Mr D) to deal with FRESH ingredients.
Doesn't usually use tins because they're harder to get into than any other packaging (other than the skin of a Swede or Butternut Squash), but has a nifty way with a tablespoon that can get most ringpulls up at no additional expense. Or I just get Tetrapacks and use a pair of scissors.
Could use frozen - a bag of peas or butternut squash isn't that esoteric - and it's handy to put the excess soup in there ready for 'I can't be
bleeping arsed' days.
Decent, affordable, accessible, NUTRITIOUS, NICE TASTING & ATTRACTIVE recipes.
Oh, and I wouldn't be arseing about with patronising people who are perfectly able to cook but have been buggered up by a dodgy hand or hip.
The main difference would be no crushing garlic with the heel of a knife (as that hurts), I'd be thumping it with a tin or lightweight steel pan,
No impossible to lift cast iron pots costing more than a week's wages.
There would be a comfortable seat and table for preparing food, rather than standing up all the time,
I'd do my awesome Raspberry Ripple recipe.
No Need to Knead Bread. Possibly with a passing reference to breadmakers being nice but not essential, but more using sourdough techniques without the expensive enamel pot to heat and then carry around the kitchen. Or a pot of doom festering on the countertop.
You'd probably get some good shots of me limping or dealing with a hand hurting.
and there would be NOTHING resembling 'Oh look, aren't I grand for teaching helpless disableds to cook?'. So no CRIP KITCHEN WITH JACK MONROE.
Hit my people up, Jack. I'm game.
I can show you how to cook onions if you like.