Jack Monroe #402 Which police squad will be tasked to investigate Jack being signed up to a mailing list?

[Mallerenga]

Welcome to thread #402. Congratulations to @Shimmering, who suggested the most voted thread title (slightly amended because it was too long) based on words from a squig. Your prize is an investigating police squad all of your own!

Jack was wisely silent for most of the previous thread, but alas she didn't give the canal time for a updated chair stocktake. She reappeared on Twitter on Wednesday night. She claimed someone had signed her up for the Britain First mailing list and tried to hack her Patreon, PayPal and Teemill accounts (the Teemill shop had gone private shortly earlier) to steal her identity and cashos. She also claimed she was being harassed and stalked. She claims there is a police unit investigating all of this. Many people, both here and on Twitter, are questioning if any of this *gestures broadly* is even possible.

(Please feel free to add to the recap)

The pink button above is the Wiki for newbies. Please keep all thread title nominations until post #750 more or less, make sure you use the words "thread title" and no swearing on them.

And just for reference I thought I'd copy @Pocahontas' wise words from the previous thread:

“Please don’t post suggestions for what ‘squigs’ or Molly should tweet at or about Jack. (Nobody’s stopping you doing this on Twitter, it just doesn’t need to be replicated here.) Molly / Twitter and Tattle are separate. Stop posting Molly’s every tweet here - it’s not necessary when everyone can just go and look at her page. Fair enough to discuss her if Jack is, or there’s another viral post, but this is not a Molly thread, so some distance should be maintained. The same interests don’t make someone a thread mascot.

Don’t post the same or similar to what you post on Twitter or other social media. Don’t post a screenshot of a tweet you have just liked. Don’t post here that you’ve been blocked, or that you’ve replied to a tweet. Keep it on Tattle and look after your profiles.

Finally, please try to keep on topic. When Jack’s quiet, or it’s late and people want to chat, there is the Food and Drink thread. This helps keep the Jack thread for Jack and makes it easier for everyone else to catch up. Thanks all, and go fairly well”.

 

[OrigamiEyes]

Can't believe she's spent "all that time" (not even 2 days, lol) away from Twitter preparing all this non-sense woe-is-me thread instead of finally posting "my" blue cheese and steak recipe along with the banana pancakes one .

 

[hoopdedoo]

Can't believe she's spent "all that time" (not even 2 days, lol) away from Twitter preparing all this non-sense woe-is-me thread instead of finally posting "my" blue cheese and steak recipe along with the banana pancakes one .

Small mercies

 

[HotesTilaire]

Excellent work @Mallerenga indeed, Jack is back! And she hasn’t learnt a thing. Plus ça change, mes amies. She has to be up at 5am, will she get up? Is she going to be on GMB to advise using washing powder to wash your hair? Will she do a “Glastonbury” and just...not turn up, or ever speak of it again?

 

[Lurkingandlaughing]

You forgot to mention the sifting. I know am new and dont want to tell you how to do moddingand starting threads and recaps but you forgot to mention the sifting AND the prunes.

 

[HotesTilaire]

You forgot to mention the sifting. I know am new and dont want to tell you how to do moddingand starting threads and recaps but you forgot to mention the sifting AND the prunes.

Evidence was provided by a squig of a solid brown mass said to be “sticky toffee pudding” made from that well known toffee pudding ingredient - prunes. No dates in this atrocity, no need to sift flour, and watered down condensed milk dropped over the top as sticky toffee sauce. I feel offended on behalf of Mary Berry.
Very similar to last Christmas when we were treated to Netflix’s Sticky Brown Poo.

 

[Lurkingandlaughing]

Evidence was provided by a squig of a solid brown mass said to be “sticky toffee pudding” made from that well known toffee pudding ingredient - prunes. No dates in this atrocity, no need to sift flour, and watered down condensed milk dropped over the top as sticky toffee sauce. I feel offended on behalf of Mary Berry.
Very similar to last Christmas when we were treated to Netflix’s Sticky Brown Poo.

I would not have believed it had I not seen the recipe. But its true. It is true. And now food banks everywhere get tins of prunes that noone wants and they cant offload because the poors like prunes according to this recipe. Such is the power of media.

I think we need a campaign to stop the British public treating foodbanks and the poors like a grand scale harvest festival and they need to be told noone wants their manky butter beans, prunes or smart price tins. Do we know any prominent influencers who could possibly head this campaign?

 

[Cookiecookie]

away at the idea of my employer being exposed because I chat tit online about a scammer. I sell overpriced sheets luv, feel free to that. I don't care.

 

[Mrs Peel]

Didn't she have a meeting with Gordon Brown last week? I don't think he mentions her once in this article. Mentions other people, mind.

https://www.12ft.io/https://www.the...liz-truss-cost-of-living-poverty-gordon-brown

 

[Mendacious Trumpet]

Didn't she have a meeting with Gordon Brown last week? I don't think he mentions her once in this article. Mentions other people, mind.

https://www.12ft.io/https://www.the...liz-truss-cost-of-living-poverty-gordon-brown

Would you look at that, citing real sources, credible figures, linking to a campaign... fascinating what a person can put together when they've not been up arguing on twitter all night.

edit: would have loved to watch his face during his "interview" with Jack.

 

[Hunsgraveyard]

And just think, she could make all the "abuse" as she describes it (any sane person would call it "asking questions about finsncial transparency and charity matters") go away by posting a full set of screenshots detailing Patreon, Teemill, donations after 02.02.22 and then a detailed, public pledge to resolve outstanding deliverables such as Kickstarter books and Pateron benefits. Ideally with a timeline for resolution and a clear path to refund (again with pledge around speed of requested refund) if people don't want to wait any longer.

Then, address the Asda "undeclared campaign" questions before hiring someone to run her social media for her and staying offline.

 

[heretic]

Well, burger me backwards. That all kicked off, didn’t it?

I see Alton Towers are temporarily closing Nemesis and I can’t help but wonder if it’s because it couldn’t compete with the rollercoaster clusterfuck shenanigans of Jack Monroe.

 

[itsnotmereally]

Sorry couldn’t quote from last thread so posting SS again.
It’s ‘the Law is on MY side’ for me. The Law doesn’t take a side Jack. She’s such a child, a thick one. Thick like her blue cheese and sardine gravy.
The police consider everything during investigations, they don’t pick a side just because you’re the alleged victim, because sometimes people lie.

Wouldn’t it be something (if the police are even involved) that whilst investigating her allegations they uncover her potential fraudulent activities. Maybe that is what the police are doing, apologies I’m spiralling, they’re using the opportunity to look at her. Operation Fraus.

 

[StatusWoe]

I think we need a campaign to stop the British public treating foodbanks and the poors like a grand scale harvest festival and they need to be told noone wants their manky butter beans, prunes or smart price tins.

Suggested hashtag #noprunesforthepoors ?

Am I in a minority here? I like butter beans. Not in sticky toffee pudding, I should clarify. I like ingredients to stay where they belong. Jack is the chef equivalent of a toddler putting a half-eaten chicken nugget into their lego building and claiming that the lego people really enjoyed their food.

 

[LennyBriscoe]

And just for reference I thought I'd copy @Pocahontas' wise words from the previous thread:

Finally, please try to keep on topic. When Jack’s quiet, or it’s late and people want to chat, there is the Food and Drink thread. This helps keep the Jack thread for Jack and makes it easier for everyone else to catch up. Thanks all, and go fairly well”.

Thanks for the new thread @Mallerenga.

I’m probably not going to make any friends saying this and echoing what a Mod says is possibly me moderating but I’ve done a few Grunks lately and reading pages of people’s off topic experiences is really frustrating. To the main, Jack has so many threads because she generates enough content herself. There’s no point in there being 402 threads if so many pages are filled up with people’s personal experiences, teeth, chairs, how much a pickled egg at the chippy is and how big houses are.

I really don’t mean to offend anyone by saying this and it is of course up to me to ignore people or not read the threads. But I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again - we ALL want people to see the light about Jack but if people - and in particular those who may need a lot of convincing about Jack - come over here to see the light, they’ll do a quick about turn if there are pages/entire threads about David Attenborough or how big Tommy Lee’s dick is

 

[Tin Can Crook]

Good morning canal, I an fiercely behind and will be for some time but I'm here after reading the latest twitter thread (which I've archived for you ninnies: https://archive.ph/wjCgx)

Wow Jack was investigated by the Crown Prosecution Servics? Bit weird seeing as that's the police's job and she'd only end up there if she was actually charged with a crime. That must be what she means when she says she's been investigated by "CPS" because I'm certain she wouldn't lie and use an acronym stolen from American TV based on this very real thing that definitely happened.

(Hint: Jack, the UK does not have CPS you can rattling squirrel fart.)

It'll probably be the weekend before I see you all in real time. Go well, pals.

 

[Hunsgraveyard]

Just had a thought. We bleeping predicted pretty much everything she posted.

Spoiler: TW

- suicide attempt
- breakdown

Disgusting that Jack Monroe should come through with the worst of the predictions, weaponising very, very serious things to try and deflect.

bleeping DARVO bleep, I hope she gets fully called out and further cancelled for trying to pull this tit.

 

[Lurkingandlaughing]

I think #nopruneforthepoors is an excellent hashtag and given the tendency of prunes to evacuate your bowels of valuable calories this a serious public health campaign. I cannot endorse inflicting butter beans on the poors, but confess to a bit of a taste for a ham hock and butterbean soup. Although I was once taken on a date to a French restaurant in Leeds where I ordered this and it was tinned soup. Which I am to this day confused by. Pioneers of the Jack Monroe cooking method p'raps?

 

[StatusWoe]

Although I was once taken on a date to a French restaurant in Leeds where I ordered this and it was tinned soup. Which I am to this day confused by. Pioneers of the Jack Monroe cooking method p'raps?

Maybe you should have gone full Monroe and called the police? I'm sure they'd have been there immediately to investigate. They might have done an exciting raid.

DARVO

Sorry for ignorance. What's DARVO? Seen it on the threads, but no idea what it stands for.

 

[Fruitjack]

Tbh if I wanted to steal Jack’s identity and all her money I would quite simply get some ugly tattoos as we all know that’s all that’s needed to prove your identity.
(For newer fraus, this is what Jack once said, but I can’t find the tweet)