Jack Monroe #392 This is why ppl cook you on that gossip app innit

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Dogmuck

Dogmuck

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Winning thread title, words from a squig supplied by me 🙇‍♀️ nominated by @LeftoverCoffee. Congratulations your prize is the remaining chicken 🐔 bacon 🥓 black pudding 🩸 prune 💩 carrot 🥕 and celery 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 Pie - named in your honour
B19F2E2D-26A3-4BDB-BAAF-0E69B0532499.jpeg


In the last thread Jack:

Wanted to throw a pie at the new king

Went to the pharmacy for an ouchy throat and was told to SHUT UP go on complete vocal rest and gaggle loads of stuff plus sage tea. She was WARNED because of her unsustainable workload.

Surprised even her very dear irl friend that she’d met the queen a few times

Had her son, his dog and his LFC trackie top over for the day.

Took them to Wilco

Breadcrumbed about her lodger who she’s not allowed to have but has been there for 9 months.

Did some top tier trolling with her bodyguard

That’s it from me please feel free to add to the recap.

NEWBIES - please read the Wiki accessed by the pink button at the top of the threadit will help you understand sooo much.

Title nomination towards the end with THREAD TITLE NOM to make it easier to find and no swears please.
 
New thread - first timer so I hope this goes ok.

I’ve been BUSY self diagnosing peri menopause in myself so the recap is brief though I’m sure others will support.
• Jack’s BRADyguard looks like a Camembert cheese.
• She has symptoms which resemble covid but it can’t be covid because she tests regularly due to being in close contact with CEV people.
• She went to a concert, and travelled to Bristol, but if she does have covid she’s caught it from SB’s school which is massive.
• When all other concerts and events were cancelled due to the passing of her majesty the Queen, Jack still managed to get out to see Arcade Fire, when others including the support act cancelled due to the singer being outed as a sex pest.
• She’s now sleeping in a library (quiet shagging at least), because she’s living as she will in her new place she’s moving into in 6 months time.
• Content ate the cable off the hoover meaning Jack and her crumbly ouchy shoulder had to manually sweep the carpet.
• Her, SB and an unnamed individual are eating chicken and prune pies. Jack’s oven is broken so I’m assuming these will be cooked on the gas radiator or steamed pudding style. Question: if the oven is broken indeed, how does she heat up her oven trays before bed?
 
Dogmuck said:
Winning thread title, words from a squig supplied by me 🙇‍♀️ nominated by @LeftoverCoffee. Congratulations your prize is the remaining chicken 🐔 bacon 🥓 black pudding 🩸 prune 💩 carrot 🥕 and celery 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿 Pie - named in your honour
View attachment 1569304 q

In the last thread Jack:

Wanted to throw a pie at the new king

Went to the pharmacy for an ouchy throat and was told to SHUT UP go on complete vocal rest and gaggle loads of stuff plus sage tea. She was WARNED because of her unsustainable workload.

Surprised even her very dear irl friend that she’d met the queen a few times

Had her son, his dog and his LFC trackie top over for the day.

Took them to Wilco

Breadcrumbed about her lodger who she’s not allowed to have but has been there for 9 months.

Did some top tier trolling with her bodyguard

That’s it from me please feel free to add to the recap.

NEWBIES - please read the Wiki accessed by the pink button at the top of the threadit will help you understand sooo much.

Title nomination towards the end with THREAD TITLE NOM to make it easier to find and no swears please.
Click to expand...
The ‘incredibly literal‘ is a bit worrying. I hope it isn’t Bigus Dickus from life of Brian. (BD)
 
I'm saying this because I know you'll all know what I mean and in the safe knowledge that you all know I'm not being offensive to anyone except... Well, you know.


This 'pie'
Screenshot_20220910-210252-01.jpeg

If your 7 year old kid came.rushing home with this pie they made.in Home economics, you'd be thrilled to pieces right?
"Aww Jack, you've even put your name on it and some stars"

If, however, someone you didn't know but was obviously over the age of 30.
If they proudly handed it to you... you'd be worried she'd been eating the wax crayons wouldn't you?
 
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