Jack Monroe #366 The campaigner Jack Monroe was particularly unwise to pursue this course of action

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Feck said:
I'd forgotten about the cost of care letter and it was only a couple of hours ago. It really is a Jack Monroeller Coaster isn't it? Either that or the constant fictional drama really does addle the brain. Ever likely she's EXHAUSTED. I'm tired just reading about it.
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Wasn't it today, dear heart? Has the chaos frazzled our brains?!

ETA; I read that as days ago, I go confused. lol.
 
VeniVidiVicki said:
I want to see that Easter facetuned picture again. Truly a thing of wonder.
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fakejackvsrealjack.jpg
 
Recap:
1. Jack’s unlocked phone marauded dervish-like in her Tiggy+Bo at an AA meeting (at which it shouldn’t even have been on), which explains the (even more than usually) nonsensical stream of shite she posted towards the end of the thread before last. Like much else that she spouts, this was utterly impossible and complete bollox but let to much hilarity, clever and funny posts, and even some maverick IRL testing from fraus in the wild. Conclusion: it’s impossible, but thank space you for your services in making the thread go hurtling right out the gate from page 1 like a freebasing greyhound race, Jack

2. Like David Brent’s substandard and more mortifying sister, Jack has opportunities in the pipeline via THREE (count ‘em) mindblowing invitations in her email. She cannot tell anyone what these are, because of a sinister group of people wearing strange buttock headwear (strikes me these people would be very noticeable IRL and easy to avoid, but what do I know, right? I haven’t set foot in the UK since pre COVID and vast swathes of the populace might be wearing ass hats nowadays) These invitations are all unpaid, but hey ho, what does that matter when you’re funded to the tune of thousands monthly by the masses of NON- bum chapeau wearers for doing the square root of FA, right?

3. SB may or may not be at the crappy bungalow, as Jack’s claiming they’re having all sorts of expensive improbable jolly japes on electronic playthings, while also gleefully recounting to 500,000 of her nearest and dearest the time she broke one of his toys, cobbled it together poorly and never told him about it. Oh the “giggling”.

4. She made a total twit of herself by posting WITH PERMISSION OK a screenshot of someone’s care costs letter, claiming it denoted a 680% INCREASE when even the most cursory and perfunctory reading of it clearly demonstrated it did nothing of the sort. It’s also IRRITATING when OTHER PEOPLE misunderstand her idiocy, ok?

5. She got her arse handed to her in response to that on Twitter, and about number 2, and about numerous other things, including trying to instigate pile-ons of people with ACTUAL PhDs (or as Jack probably characterizes said not-Honorary degrees, Dishonorary Doctorates), and about the lack of support for JKR in the face of her support for that Chocolat twit. Ta Daaah!!! It’s ok though! She DID support JKR, just softly gently quietly behind the scenes, probably. Or not.

6. She kindly donated a filthy old BBQ, one of her three freezers (freezers, huh? They’re JUST LIKE mindblowing invitations received via emails- always come in threes- hmmm rather like having a personal private orgy with the Jonas brothers or Hanson -anyway, apologies, I digressed slightly there. Makes you think though) and a egg chair to “friends”. The fraus were aghast at this before remembering that it’s all ok because she doesn’t have friends. Lady Bountiful also kindly donated her landlady’s eucalyptus wood to said “friends”, yet again the fraus were aghast as this is potentially extremely hazardous, before once again recalling that she has no “friends” so it’s all ok.

7. Molly’s gittin’ ready to blow, so assume the position and brace, brace, brace my lil’ chickadees, cos storm’s a-comin’

8. Still no transparency on any monies for Teemill or any others, still (probably, but to my recollection last thread she didn’t try) can’t cook, still single, still doesn’t know what maraud means, still insufferable.

I’m sure I’ve missed things. Once again, I’m EXHAUSTED.

ETA I’ll start writing before the last thread ends next time I do a recap. It takes so long to summarize her nonsense, it’s not even made the front page 😂
 
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VeniVidiVicki said:
I want to see that Easter facetuned picture again. Truly a thing of wonder.

As a mark of how totally overinvested I’ve become, I downloaded FaceTune to see how it works for the lols. I set a reminder to cancel on the day my free trial ran out but it seems you need to cancel the previous day. So now I’ve spunked £30 odd quid on this app I’m never going to use because I’m a middle aged woman and I never do selfies. 🤦🏻‍♀️

So if you’ve got some photos you’d like a bit zingier, send them my way 👍
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Can you sort my beaver out ?
 

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Jelly Bean said:
She had the weekend away with 'in laws' - where they bought her all those mouldy cookery books that she couldn't carry by herself. We all initially thought she meant SB's dad's family.
The Easter falling asleep on the sofa was after that.
Oh lord I can just imagine her referring to Harold's brother as 'brother in law', wildly laughing and saying 'joking!' {not joking} 😬
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I can imagine her doing this while wearing all three (four?) engagement rings on one hand
 
VeniVidiVicki said:
I want to see that Easter facetuned picture again. Truly a thing of wonder.

As a mark of how totally overinvested I’ve become, I downloaded FaceTune to see how it works for the lols. I set a reminder to cancel on the day my free trial ran out but it seems you need to cancel the previous day. So now I’ve spunked £30 odd quid on this app I’m never going to use because I’m a middle aged woman and I never do selfies. 🤦🏻‍♀️

So if you’ve got some photos you’d like a bit zingier, send them my way 👍
Click to expand...

You can request a refund through Apple. I downloaded a diet app that was tit and they gave me my money back.
 
Valiofthedolls said:
Recap:
1. Jack’s unlocked phone marauded dervish-like in her Tiggy+Bo at an AA meeting (at which it shouldn’t even have been on), which explains the (even more than usually) nonsensical stream of shite she posted towards the end of the thread before last. Like much else that she spouts, this was utterly impossible and complete bollox but let to much hilarity, clever and funny posts, and even some maverick IRL testing from fraus in the wild. Conclusion: it’s impossible, but thank space you for your services in making the thread go hurtling right out the gate from page 1 like a freebasing greyhound race, Jack

2. Like David Brent’s substandard and more mortifying sister, Jack has opportunities in the pipeline via THREE (count ‘em) mindblowing invitations in her email. She cannot tell anyone what these are, because of a sinister group of people wearing strange buttock headwear (strikes me these people would be very noticeable IRL and easy to avoid, but what do I know, right? I haven’t set foot in the UK since pre COVID and vast swathes of the populace might be wearing ass hats nowadays) These invitations are all unpaid, but hey ho, what does that matter when you’re funded to the tune of thousands monthly by the masses of NON- bum chapeau wearers for doing the square root of FA, right?

3. SB may or may not be at the crappy bungalow, as Jack’s claiming they’re having all sorts of expensive improbable jolly japes on electronic playthings, while also gleefully recounting to 500,000 of her nearest and dearest the time she broke one of his toys, cobbled it together poorly and never told him about it. Oh the “giggling”.

4. She made a total twit of herself by posting WITH PERMISSION OK a screenshot of someone’s care costs letter, claiming it denoted a 680% INCREASE when even the most cursory and perfunctory reading of it clearly demonstrated it did nothing of the sort. It’s also IRRITATING when OTHER PEOPLE misunderstand her idiocy, ok?

5. She got her arse handed to her in response to that on Twitter, and about number 2, and about numerous other things, including trying to instigate pile-ons of people with ACTUAL PhDs (or as Jack probably characterizes said not-Honorary degrees, Dishonorary Doctorates), and about the lack of support for JKR in the face of her support for that Chocolat twit. Ta Daaah!!! It’s ok though! She DID support JKR, just softly gently quietly behind the scenes, probably. Or not.

6. She kindly donated a filthy old BBQ, one of her three freezers (freezers, huh? They’re JUST LIKE mindblowing invitations received via emails- always come in threes- hmmm rather like having a personal private orgy with the Jonas brothers or Hanson -anyway, apologies, I digressed slightly there. Makes you think though) and a egg chair to “friends”. The fraus were aghast at this before remembering that it’s all ok because she doesn’t have friends. Lady Bountiful also kindly donated her landlady’s eucalyptus wood to said “friends”, yet again the fraus were aghast as this is potentially extremely hazardous, before once again recalling that she has no “friends” so it’s all ok.

7. Molly’s gittin’ ready to blow, so assume the position and brace, brace, brace my lil’ chickadees, cos storm’s a-comin’

8. Still no transparency on any monies for Teemill or any others, still (probably, but to my recollection last thread she didn’t try) can’t cook, still single, still doesn’t know what maraud means, still insufferable.

I’m sure I’ve missed things. Once again, I’m EXHAUSTED.

ETA I’ll start writing before the last thread ends next time I do a recap. It takes so long to summarize her nonsense, it’s not even made the front page 😂
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This is amazing. I think you'll swerve the mashing of the contents of your head. Which is just lovely.
 
Jelly Bean said:
She had the weekend away with 'in laws' - where they bought her all those mouldy cookery books that she couldn't carry by herself. We all initially thought she meant SB's dad's family.
The Easter falling asleep on the sofa was after that.
Oh lord I can just imagine her referring to Harold's brother as 'brother in law', wildly laughing and saying 'joking!' {not joking} 😬
Click to expand...
Yep, referring to them as in-laws would have been a bit alarming, especially as he had only been going out with her for a few weeks at that point.
Remember also when she’d bought some crockery that matched his (or vice versa), and then said something like “we might as well be married’. No wonder he scarpered. She’s nuts.
 
BlendedSlop said:
Remember when she used the phrase "My most recent father in law" just after Not-Harold LEFT? 😬
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Remember when she was asking for school summer holiday long weekends away recommendations for her and her son? To spend the money she had saved not buying booze? And make memories?

Obviously that was THEN. A few days later in the NOW she's been sitting in the dark, boiling up soap and taking cold showers. For two years. Utterly shameless.

Marmalade Atkins said:
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Fud.
 
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