Jack Monroe #363 I regret to inform you Jack Monroe has done another tweet

[Pocahontas]

Congrats to @Griftymcgriftface for the thread title, words from a squig’s mouth. Your prize, an engagement ring from H Samuel’s preloved EBay page.

1. Politicians have quietly told Jack she should be an MP and she’s seriously considering it, but not really, she’s just joshing.
2. If she dumped you then you shoulda gave the ring back. She finally pawned the three haunted engagement rings and now has enough to buy a potted hydrangea (this is a guess).
3. She made and photographed two dishes perfect for a heatwave, and also a ‘no-cook’ gazpacho
4. She had some things to say about Joan of Arc and The Globe theatre. That’s all I know. Go well.

 

[Cack_Conroe]

My thoughts after a partial grunk:

The Prima advice section was tit. How hypocritical of Jack to encourage people to continue to buy unnecessary toiletries with "don't forget to value yourself" schtick. I wouldn't resent her brand deals because at least it's a legitimate way of her earning money, but she's such a massive, massive sell out and hypocritical to the extreme.

Her advice to buy reusable pads for the purposes of saving money is bad. They're like £7 each, and you need quite a few of them. The poorest people can't afford £50 or more. Yes, you probably save money in the end but some people don't have £50 to spare, as she who claims to have used socks and newspapers as fanny pads ought to know. Wonder why she didn't add that into her advice. Probably because she knows it's such a ridiculous story that it's not suitable for her Superdrug brand deal.

I personally use cloth pads, because they're more comfortable (my periods are extremely painful), and hold more blood. Also your flow changes for the better, most of it comes out on the toilet. I got them for eco-friendly reasons, but honestly, you have to wash them a lot. You also have to replace them every few years in my experience. I'm not sure how beneficial they are in terms of the environment, although they certainly help reduce landfill waste.

As for her primary school, I'm almost certain I've found it. It's very close to her childhood home. It was a separate junior and infants school in her time, and the junior school was on special measures between March 2007-December 2008 (so not "constantly", and 8-9 years after she left). It is otherwise a good school. 51.8% of kids are eligible for free school meals, compared to 22.5% nationally. Searching the roads that surround it on three sides, there are indeed some properties that are listed as social housing in each of those three roads. I don't know whether or not it's an actual "council estate". But there are blocks of flats and small terraced houses, which is probably enough to make someone who grew up in a 5 bedroom detached house recoil in horror.

 

[sioc]

I was debating doing a cook along for one of her recipes (the one that inolves boiling pasta in water then without draining it adding milk and cheese for what must be the most godawful thin oily sauce) and noticed she forgot to ever mention actually adding the black pudding to the pan. Her forensic attention to detail always impresses

 

[Valiofthedolls]

It’s just dawned on me that it’s an interesting sort of symmetry that she’s not only (self-described) labially challenged but now thanks to her latest “aesthetics” also nasiolabially challenged, oui?

Spoiler: Vulgar, but not the ACTUAL UL I promise!

 

[sioc]

.

I personally use cloth pads, because they're more comfortable (my periods are extremely painful), and hold more blood. Also your flow changes for the better, most of it comes out on the toilet. I got them for eco-friendly reasons, but honestly, you have to wash them a lot. You also have to replace them every few years in my experience. I'm not sure how beneficial they are in terms of the environment, although they certainly help reduce landfill waste.

I bought a bunch of those reusable bamboo pads for make up removing and whatever environmental benefit comes from not using the disposable cotton ones I think gets wasted because I have to wash them on the baby clothes setting (90 degrees) to get the makeup stains off. I still like them but am dubious that theres any net benefit either environmentally or monetarily.

 

[Pimpinella]

My recap is quite short. She's avoided talk re patreon, she's asking people to "sponsor" a book. Her hands still need washing and she's a condescending lying prat.

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

Thanks for the thread title recognition. Chapeau to the squigg. I’m quite glad that Jack monroe appears twice in the Jack monroe thread title about Jack monroe as I’ve heard that if someone searches for Jack monroe on google there is more chance that they will see the threads about Jack monroe here if searching about Jack monroe.

really makes you think.

 

[MaineCoonMama]

Quickie TL~DR
Thanos Jack claims to have 'pawned' her engagement rings to declutter before she moves. She shocked us all by actually posting a few one pan recipes. Good work Jack, warming comfort food in the middle of a heatwave!
Some crap on Twitter about non binary Joan of Arc, she was called out and doubled down by brandishing her two 'doctorates'.
We can all look forward to seeing Jack's elegant sartorial choices as she makes her maiden speech in Parliament.
She's back saying y'all, y'all.

 

[ChaosCEO]

3. She made and photographed two dishes perfect for a heatwave, and also a ‘no-cook’ gazpacho

OK I’m sorry but it’s so odd how many people are under the illusion that gazpacho requires cooking. I once heard someone boast that they used tinned tomatoes in their “easy” gazpacho to “cut down on cooking time”. I can almost forgive the average British person for being confused by chucking 5 raw ingredients into a blender then adding olive oil and seasoning it all - we’re not renowned for our cuisine, after all - but Jack is meant to be a FOOD EXPERT. I DESPAIR.

 

[Charitas]

A friend of mine became a councillor this year at the third time of trying in a neighbouring ward. Their professional sm lets you know what committees they are on, how to contact them and sign posts useful events and organisations. For example, a summer school for primary aged Ukrainians to improve their Engish and understand the routines of a British school. I cannot imagine Jack keeping up with the workload or indeed putting in the legwork to overturn another parties traditional majority

 

[jenny2603]

My recap is quite short. She's avoided talk re patreon, she's asking people to "sponsor" a book. Her hands still need washing and she's a condescending lying prat.

And we still don't know what happened to the rest of the Teemill money.

Molly is on the case

A friend of mine became a councillor this year at the third time of trying in a neighbouring ward. Their professional sm lets you know what committees they are on, how to contact them and sign posts useful events and organisations. For example, a summer school for primary aged Ukrainians to improve their Engish and understand the routines of a British school. I cannot imagine Jack keeping up with the workload or indeed putting in the legwork to overturn another series traditional majority

Well she couldn't do any useful signposting like your friend. She'd far rather have a bulging inbox of unread emails and a good long whine about how she is the only doing anything whilst going off half cocked about various local issues she hasn't bothered to research or understand.

 

[Jay-cloth Cow]

Too much of a thread to grunk so may have already been noticed (most likely has) but just saw JK Rowling liked a squiq quote tweeting Jack?! Burn after JM tried to pile on her before! (Would SS but can't work out squigging squigs on my phone!!)

 

[Valiofthedolls]

If Jack wants to find a new cash cow love, I’ve got just the show for her. Maybe she can create a “Sloppies” version where potential suitors have to choke down her food.

*this is real, by the way. Mr Vali just got it, coming to Hulu soon.

 

[jenny2603]

Not as much as me squig but for very, very different reasons.

 

[VeniVidiVicki]

Exciting, this ‘coming soon’ thing, isn’t it?

 

[jenny2603]

Exciting, this ‘coming soon’ thing, isn’t it?
View attachment 1496556 q

Praying for the picky vegetarian niece.

 

[Sketchy]

Something else I meant to pick up on. Someone (somewhere) quoted a post of hers where she said (wtte of) her not being the usual type to sit in a tracksuit watching the Jeremy Kyle programme, what with her being a 'normal' person, an'all. Is that not a bit of an insult? I bet if anyone else had written what she did, she'd have jumped at it and snapped back ... what's 'normal'? I thought the far left/LGBTQ+ etc, (as she professes to be, or support) were all accepting and welcoming of just about all sorts of minorities, etc. But she's happy to class herself as ' a normal person'?

Has this changed?

I'm confused.

Again.

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

So just checked and it was the Victoria Freeman post which JK liked.

and just to give some perspective JK was publicly tweeted at to say ‘you are next’ when she expressed her thoughts about the salmon Rushdie thing, Jack constantly complains about abuse but it seems to be just piss takes where people constantly send dangerous threats in JK’s direction.

sorry I know this is only slightly on topic/off topic but thought it was worth mentioning.

 

[Mrs Peel]

My recap is very short.

Her pumble is about to get rumbled thanks to Molly, and she knows it.

 

[VeniVidiVicki]

My recap is very short.

Her pumble is about to get rumbled thanks to Molly, and she knows it.

Rumble in the pumble!