Jack Monroe #344 344%

[Falkor]

We've made it to thread 344!

Title courtesy of @HansThatDoDishes - your prize is half a GCSE. For newer readers, back in January Jack managed to go viral on Twitter with a claim that basic food prices had risen by 344%.



This ultimately led to her launching the Vimes Boots Index, which she claimed would take her a weekend to sort out. We're still waiting.

In the last thread we discussed spite houses, the dedication section of Jack's new book, debated the actual number of GCSEs she got. Jack had another tooth crumble into dust and got into an argument over how the Youth Parliament is elected. https://tattle.life/threads/jack-monroe-343-a-heavy-dose-of-chickpea-and-loathing.31823/

Wiki is the pink button up top, please use the words thread title when nominating them. Carry on!

 

[Marmalade Atkins]

Jack's caught up with last thread.

 

[DrtCrl]

I’m on a grunk deep in the last thread but as soon as I saw I could no longer quote posts I knew it was time and I raced over here with a quite frankly embarrassing level of excitement and anticipation to see what the thread title was
Happy Thread 344(%) ninnies

 

[Onestorytoomany]

Jack's caught up with last thread.

View attachment 1438331 q

So what happens if the pooch makes a break for it, they will have the wrong digits. Christ, it's just as well she's not in the police her forensics are tit!

 

[colouredlines]

344! We have as many threads as Jack has teeth!

(or had, before they started crumbling at a rate of one a month)

 

[Sideboard Bob]

 

[Hollaaa]

View attachment 1438366 q

Thread 344 and still no eye roll react.

 

[MistyWindows]

344 pumbles on the wall, 344! One goes on a violent blood thirsty rampage and is shot by Big Dave’s gunnnnn… 343 pumbles on the wall!

 

[Phillipa78]

344% brought me here (eventually)! Toot toot, ninnies! I like numbers, but not what Jack Monroe does to them.

Speaking of Jack's numbers, why would I converse with the sloppinator when there's an awesome crew right here?!

 

[NellieBoo]

View attachment 1438366 q

Jack trying and failing to keep up with the yoof trends .

 

[Switchstreetz]

We made it! Here's to 344 more, TOOT TOOT

 

[traumatised sideboard]

I'm standing in the centre of a triangle that is three metres long on two sides and four metres on the third side, a sausage grease candle burning at each vertex. I swing a censer of burning eucalyptus and drain hair as I perform a catatonic reprise chant to complete the ritual. The floor begins to quake, dust rains down from the ceiling. An unearthly green glow emanates from the fridge as the portal to the 344th dimension opens.

It's just full of bleeping rice.

 

[Mrs Peel]

The three Tinder non-dates must be thanking their lucky stars right about now. How can someone be so, I dunno, 'off' about everything?

I know that everyone has their drawbacks, but most people seem to have at least one redeeming factor. Most.

 

[kachoochoo]

just capturing the 344% origin as a screenshot at the top of this thread before she deletes it

 

[DinosaurSenior]

I quite like the thought of Jack "rioting". I imagine her running up and down outside Poshville Heights Notbungalow, flapping her arms about

 

[jenny2603]

I quite like the thought of Jack "rioting". I imagine her running up and down outside Poshville Heights Notbungalow, flapping her arms about

Pushing over her own empty wheelie bin and doing a rapid, head down walk back indoors.

 

[Toffee finger]

Spoiler: Rice rice baby

….344%

 

[Ostapbender]

I quite like the thought of Jack "rioting". I imagine her running up and down outside Poshville Heights Notbungalow, flapping her arms about

Jack riot, I wanna riot
Jack riot, a riot of my own
Jack riot, I wanna riot
Jack riot, a riot of my own
All the power's in the hands
Of Tories who just snicker
While I walk the street
Yellow as my nightmeat sticker
Non-Thorpe Bay residents gotta lot of problems
But they aren't looking solemn
I went to grammar school
Where Barb said "Not my bleeping problem"
And everybody's doing
Just what they're told to
And nobody wants
To go to jail
Jack riot etc

happy 344 day toot toot!

 

[Kittypops]

Pushing over her own empty wheelie bin and doing a rapid, head down walk back indoors.

Wearing her DRESSING GOWN while holding a CUP OF TEA as the neighbours tut from behind their lace curtains

 

[Clovis]

Best thread title ever.

Toot toot!