Jack Monroe #339 David Attenborough lied about walruses

[metroglide]

I got an email from the Edinburgh Book Festival earlier. I was a marketing Frau in a former life and usually the events you plug in your newsletter are the ones you're still desperately trying to sell tickets for... speculation of course your honour!

(Edited the image to squiggle out the other writers' faces as they're not in the same event as Jack and I felt bad having their faces on here.)


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imagine if the Edinburgh book festival-adjacent Frauen turned up in the latex walri masks? Silently sitting there...

 

[Boogs]

Self-care tips? From Jack?

Taking self care tips from Jack is like suggesting that the Walri take a nice cliff top stroll with biggest Dave.

 

[NellieBoo]

I had to select new frames at the optician on Monday and I was definitely avoiding the Rose West/Jack Monroe Serial Killer frames.

. I think I'm going to have to try varifocals. I had a minor chaos today trying to install a toner cartridge in the printer at work.

 

[kachoochoo]

Spoiler: o/t stuff

omg, I never knew about patricia and betty! don't they look lovely together

also, the original rose in keeping up appearances was edna birch in emmerdale

 

[HansThatDoDishes]

And Content........the new puppy!

She got given (or bought) some ugly Tiffany earrings she pretends are fake and wears them all the goddam time.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Harold the homophobe hat-seller

Had an Enormous Horn

Sorry, I’ve got Blackadder on the brain-and speaking of, do you think this is how Evil Tory homophobe hat-selling tattoo-hating Ol Harold wooed our plucky smol pixie?

 

[Boogs]

I had to select new frames at the optician on Monday and I was definitely avoiding the Rose West/Jack Monroe Serial Killer frames.

I have to be careful when choosing frames so I don’t channel Olive from on the buses.

 

[DinosaurSenior]

imagine if the Edinburgh book festival-adjacent Frauen turned up in the latex walri masks? Silently sitting there...

Ooooh!!! I'm googling walrus costumes!

Also...Hide the Pain Harold no longer has to hide. He is free to express his disgust

 

[metroglide]

Ooooh!!! I'm googling walrus costumes!

Also...Hide the Pain Harold no longer has to hide. He is free to express his disgust

it's the Festival, so anything goes. Pre-pandemic, I used to see an especially grubby Pikachu cutting about!

Also really sorry, but don't know how to start a new thread.

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Jack's new tats.
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I would not have the courage to let my unruly nips stare like a pair of shark eyes at the camera for all the world to see.

For some reason, that photo (like manifold other examples of her self portraiture) puts me in mind of this seminal work of American Literature by a Mr. Kurt Vonnegut

 

[Boogs]

I love it when someone asks for an update and people start listing the things that have happened recently. It’s then when you can truly appreciate just how bonkers the world of Jack is.

 

[Whaa?]

I am finding it difficult to believe that on July 11th she is posting about being bone crushingly miserable, and two days later she is friends with her ex.

 

[Mr Krabs]

If we are ever in fear of never fear as we too can have privacy/stunt Walri.View attachment 1415148 q

What festival is this? I’m there.

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

Moon app just popping in with his views.

 

[Missmopps]

Another classic narc parent move when their kid gets too old to control. I’ll have a baby that will adore me and I will be it’s whole world…

Sheesh! I’ve just binged watched The Baby on Sky Atlantic, it takes what you’ve just stated to a whole new level! worth a watch for sure

chapeau please add max, Mary and ann to the media gallery

It’s scary how alike Ann and Jack are…

 

[HotesTilaire]

Don’t google any Pringles or growlers!

Mr Tumble car exhaust!

 

[Shesaidwhat?]

Sorry I didn't see this at the time! Brilliant. Thanks for being so #forensic.

Just attempted my own version, but my 'artwork' is about the same level as Jack's 'cooking' so good luck figuring it out. Might need to explain a few things.

So this plots the trajectory of Jack, assuming the train platform was sloping downwards towards the train. The pink thing is not an unruly labia, it's a Mediterranean arse. The orange thing is Jack's hair, obviously. The Mediterranean arse is more or less static, but the hair is nomadic. I've given the train some sinister Jack eyes but these did not feature in her original statement. Trapped Jack is not injured; she simply has multiple body parts to account for the inconsistencies in her original story. These include an extra head and some additional thighs.

Spoiler

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Only on this thread could clarification be needed on whether it’s an unruly labia or an arse .

 

[Ostapbender]

I love it when someone asks for an update and people start listing the things that have happened recently. It’s then when you can truly appreciate just how bonkers the world of Jack is.

Speaking of bonkers, does Jack still have not-Covid?

 

[HotesTilaire]

Speaking of bonkers, does Jack still have not-Covid?

She probably will after she grunks that comment.
I thought OH was her “better half” muttley sniggering gif

 

[Mr Krabs]

Speaking of bonkers, does Jack still have not-Covid?

Yes she has the longest of long Covids and will be putting together a bunch of recipes for those who are recovering and have lost their tastebuds aaaaany day now.