Jack Monroe #322 Mr T Roll and the Mitty Bungalow Mystery

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So where do we think Jack has been softly and gently whisked off to by OH? An early start to her Scotland visit is a possibility but I haven't detected any foul smells as yet so she may have decided to stop off somewhere on her way up- I suppose the people carrying her sedan chair need a break from time to time.
 
jenny2603 said:
So where do we think Jack has been softly and gently whisked off to by OH? An early start to her Scotland visit is a possibility but I haven't detected any foul smells as yet so she may have decided to stop off somewhere on her way up- I suppose the people carrying her sedan chair need a break from time to time.
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Maybe she really was caught by the fuzz and is in the cells for tweeting lies about the police 😆
 
Polly Morphus said:
I'm still completely mystified by the Violet Bollocks Impulse - help!
Nothing about it makes sense...
Jack's collected thousands of shopping receipts from her insane horde of supporters
She will (presumably) tabulate all these in an excel spreadsheet or similar (or possibly some pink Bratz notebooks using glittery gel pens, when her hurty arthritic fingers allow).
She will then be in possession of loads of prices of things from ages ago.
Which will be used to ... do bleeping what?
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She has been utterly useless in explaining the VBI's use and application either. None of us here strike me as particularly daft but we are all baffled by it. She is (theoretically) collating old prices from receipts, will then visit 10 supermarkets in different towns (duck knows why) and then.....? How will it help now and in the future? It will keep needing to be revised at least yearly won't it? She is too lazy to do this. Is she hoping it will be so marvellous someone else will take it on? (Not that it will ever see the light of day obvs).
 
Jelly Bean said:
She has been utterly useless in explaining the VBI's use and application either. None of us here strike me as particularly daft but we are all baffled by it. She is (theoretically) collating old prices from receipts, will then visit 10 supermarkets in different towns (duck knows why) and then.....? How will it help now and in the future? It will keep needing to be revised at least yearly won't it? She is too lazy to do this. Is she hoping it will be so marvellous someone else will take it on? (Not that it will ever see the light of day obvs).
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I think she was hoping that it would prove her right, that food for the poors was rising in price 344% faster than the lamb and champagne for the rich. Other than that, it's not going to help anyone. Unfortunately for her, she's probably realised by now that it won't prove her right, because er, she was wrong.
 
MsGilmore said:
The silence is deafening! I keep thinking that it’s a silent protest, but that’s not really Jack’s style!
Probably away with OH again. Must be the only way to avoid the slop!
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Was just thinking that the last time she was this quiet at the weekend her "deliciously normal" OH who works "in a little shop" swept her off for a romantic weekend in Venice.

Wonder if they've been anywhere nice this time? Or maybe they've had an airport chaos and even she realised it would be tone deaf to tweet about...or she's trying to work out how to make it acceptable....finding tickets in a puddle? Accidentally getting on a flight to Barcelona instead of the 13:47 from Southend? (We've all done it).
 
jenny2603 said:
It's quite something. She comes up with utterly pointless ideas that for some unfathomable reason sends the squigs into a frenzy then can't be arsed doing the pointless things.
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The squibs are all keyboard politicians, desperate for a sprinkle of cachet from posting tweets like “a call for evidence” in some weird “Blue Peter receipt collection exercise” that’s really going to sock it to Bojo and his evil tory cabinet.
I remember collecting crisp packets or something to help Kampuchea (didn’t catch on, called Cambodia again) but I think I understood that we basically collect scrap in exchange for cash. I didn’t think they flew out old crisp packets for them to melt into plastic bricks. These squig numbskulls really think Geoff and Marjorie’s saino shopping receipt from 2016 is political activism. FML.
 
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MsGilmore said:
The silence is deafening! I keep thinking that it’s a silent protest, but that’s not really Jack’s style!
Probably away with OH again. Must be the only way to avoid the slop!
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She's probably mourning the loss of made up death and torture threats from her arsenal of begging tools, now that the squigs have shown they take her nonsense seriously enough to involve the police. Poor Jack, when she said send coppers, she didn't mean the boys in blue.
 
jenny2603 said:
So where do we think Jack has been softly and gently whisked off to by OH? An early start to her Scotland visit is a possibility but I haven't detected any foul smells as yet so she may have decided to stop off somewhere on her way up- I suppose the people carrying her sedan chair need a break from time to time.
Click to expand...
I think he's whisked her away to the Lake District, as we know, this is where Jack can enjoy anonymity. She can avoid the public gaze and take rest from the burden of being the only person doing any work to feed the poors.
 
Oh is that what the VBI is? Because that’s literally what trolley.co.uk does. It’s a website where you can enter a product, see the prices at all the major supermarkets and see a graph that shows whether the price has gone up or down. So she’s basically making something that’s already a site but worse?
 
jenny2603 said:
It's quite something. She comes up with utterly pointless ideas that for some unfathomable reason sends the squigs into a frenzy then can't be arsed doing the pointless things.
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My favourite thing about Jack is that her fans are such patronising shits to her, and she doesn't seem to notice and/or care. So every inane statement - I'm making an index! I used the old tins to make tealights! I tidied my kitchen! I ate a maize snack! Boris is a meanie! I have a lever arch file! - is greeted with the type of praise you'd give a friend's slightly slow 5-year-old. "Ooh aren't you awfully clever, Jack! That's a very big lever arch file, isn't it? And look, you've managed to get all the receipts in there. Your mummy will be so proud!"
 
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