Jack Monroe #312 She just throws adjectives at a page and hopes for the best

[FlirtyThirty]

Well that mortgage calculator, indicates it’s more than her rent not less

Depends how much patreon cash she's squirrelled away! If the mortgage is a third of her rent (is that what she claims? Or half?) Lets meet in the middle and say £800pm mortgage on the other place that's half a mill - that would require a deposit of, ooh, £345k or so...!!!

 

[usefullyuseless]

Omg I just can’t with her. The lies are off the scale and I can’t actually understand why no squigs are challenging her. For someone who posts every bowel movement online, the opportunity for a few thousand likes for a picture of her swollen ankle would be too good to miss. Which means it never happened.

The Urban Decay palette can only do so much, dear heart

 

[Nottonightbabe]

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"On site security", alright Meghan Markle .

 

[Griftymcgriftface]

Is this racist?

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I don’t think that was the intend- I think that is more just a laughing type emoji in the context of the tweet

 

[bananasplit88]

I’m lost. She said earlier that the Number 1 thing was something she was asked if she’d consider a while ago? Who asks you if a property is something you’d consider?

Also, her OH helps her to sort her “health things” WTF? Is she 95? Run Harold!
* Insert Whoopi “Molly, you in danger girl” gif here *

 

[Pavlova]

Has to expand the search a little, but Zoopla comes up with three that mention lifts

14 Flats and apartments for sale in Southend-on-Sea - Zoopla

Find flats for sale in Southend-on-Sea with the UK's largest data-driven property portal. View our range of apartments for sale in Southend-on-Sea from the top estate agents.

www.zoopla.co.uk

Evening lovelies
I just want to say how beautiful the flats are. Can you imagine though? All that combined weight of her tatt and hoarding... she'd be living in a ground floor flat instantly if it all fell through.
And CLEAN. sad if that mucky mare got her hands on any of them....

 

[Captainmouse]

So I am not only being trolled by QI, tonight I am watching the restoration of a stained glass window, from an orangery

 

[Candytuft]

Fantasy or not, would she really move to a flat with lift access when she has Cooper ? Where would he play ? Room for a hutch ? .
She is absolutely horrible.

 

[Shesaidwhat?]

Thank you Harold for taking one for the team
The canal are much obliged

 

[Valiofthedolls]

Right a few questions

I can help with

3. How do you phenomenally fall down the stairs?

1. Woefully distracted by own reflection in mirror AND windows/all shiny surfaces at top of stairs, with a lone thought running on loop through head

2. Falls down stairs due to 1.

Here is “a paid actor” in one that was prepared earlier to demonstrate. Like one of those PSAs from the 1970s

 

[Geetbo]

Thank you Harold for taking one for the team
The canal are much obliged

Tbh given Jacks love of fisting I dread to think what Harold has had to take for the team.

 

[shouldbutshornt]

Falling down stairs inside a bungalow does sound like an extraordinary phenomenon, to be fair. One for the X-Files

 

[Malkiavelli]

So tax bill paid (apparently?) and talk of buying a house all in the last couple of days - what do we reckon then: finally cracking open her savings, bank of mum&dad/grandad (who’s DEAD), or being bankrolled by Harold??

 

[shouldbutshornt]

Well it must be all bullshit because she never gets a takeaway when she's has SB there!
I've had so many dream homes fall through too........I just keep looking on Rightmove at stuff I can't afford and don't get to view, then it gets sold Life truly sucks!

It’s basically my number one hobby. I’ve had literally thousands of dream houses fall through. Such is my life of oppression

 

[Limey]

So tax bill paid (apparently?) and talk of buying a house all in the last couple of days - what do we reckon then: finally cracking open her savings, bank of mum&dad/grandad (who’s DEAD), or being bankrolled by Harold??

If she is genuinely in a position to buy (and not lying), then its either:

1) Daddy MBE has brought forward the inheritance
2) OH is minted and helping her out
3) lol jk she's lying 19 quid in the bank innit?

 

[Cucumberthunder]

Hi Jack! Glad to see you've caught up and managed to get your TV fixed.

If you could share your secret to turning £19 into enough for a house deposit in less than a week that would be great.

Have a lovely evening.

 

[trueblue222]

She could be talking about a rental that has fallen through

 

[Dogmuck]

So tax bill paid (apparently?) and talk of buying a house all in the last couple of days - what do we reckon then: finally cracking open her savings, bank of mum&dad/grandad (who’s DEAD), or being bankrolled by Harold??

Maybe all those “boys” were so scared they SETTLED!

 

[Sideboard Bob]

 

[SweetTransvestite]

And, to be frank, the teeth…

And, to be frank, I'm Frank.


*my dentist has never held me like a sad puppy either*