Jack Monroe #312 She just throws adjectives at a page and hopes for the best

[traumatised sideboard]

Thread title words by @Nottonightbabe nominated by @Valiofthedolls you both receive a free visit to a literal angel dentist who will caress your cheek and gaze longingly into your eyes.

New frauen check out the wiki which is the pink button up top. Thread title nominations only in the latter half of the thread, no swearing and please use the words 'thread title' in your nomination so it's easy to search please and THANKYOU X

Recap:

Jack has been the worst she's ever been which is concerning when you remember that when you think she has reached the point of being the worst, she inevitably gets worse.

She has a severe case of ouchy mouth and her tooth crumbled like a seashell in a pocket. It has not stopped her from eating potatoes at 2am so that's nice for her.

Her newest hobby of ten years is collecting discarded shopping lists. She plucked one from a puddle which was a portal to puzzle and promise. Apparently that's peak autism although it does appear more to the cable as peak twit.

Somehow she has got a new partnership with a major retailer and is working with Superdrug. Place your bets now on how long until she is softly and gently fired, like with the Lorraine segment.

 

[MistyWindows]

I bet her poetry reads like Alan Partridge after huffing polish.

 

[shouldbutshornt]

I’ve never imagined my own funeral. Is that a very narc thing to do? Now I think about it, it would be in the capable hands of my sister. And what was all of that last will and testament bullshit? She doesn’t need one if she’s fine with everything going to her son, all £19 of it. No idea if she’s just joking about tweeting from the grave. I’m not very good with knowing when people are joking or not. Maybe I have undiagnosed SEVERE autism, I don’t know.

 

[traumatised sideboard]

I thought you might like to know that two years ago I wrote my list of five life goals and I'm pleased to announce that I've manifested all of them!

1. spend two years slagging off a malevolent grifter
2. make a bot to improve my efficiency at slagging off a malevolent grifter
3. eat water-porridge with fried banana skins and vegan bacon
4. learn where Redcar is
5. stop buying Linda McCartney products

 

[ChickenPorridge]

Jack and Harold haven't split guys, they popped up on my scroll through TikTok this morning and they're happier than ever

 

[BonnyBabs]

Can anyone explain to this fairly new fraus what in the LJC the "roadside mum conspiracy" is, pleaseee?

 

[HotesTilaire]

Chapeau, mofo’s! Thanks for the new thread Sidey -t. I used to want to work in Superdrug when a friends glam mum got a job there and reckoned she could get us Saturday jobs (she couldn’t) fair play Monwoe, you’ve out bucket listed me.
Also you keep going on about funerals-Funny F isn’t going to shag you hun. You ok tho? Xoxo dead people cant chaos.

 

[Geetbo]

Jack and Harold haven't split guys, they popped up on my scroll through TikTok this morning and they're happier than everView attachment 1291230 q

Nah the hairs too good to be Jack.

 

[Winthropp Tuesday]

Nah the hairs too good to be Jack.

And, to be frank, the teeth…

 

[Droosie123]

Can anyone explain to this fairly new fraus what in the LJC the "roadside mum conspiracy" is, pleaseee?

Are they one and the same person. I don’t think so personally but they are similar in lots of ways.

 

[Shesaidwhat?]

I was hoping to just jump back into this thread by the sounds I’m going to have to grunka LJC .
Has Harold sent his brother round yet?

 

[MooBelle]

Jack and Harold haven't split guys, they popped up on my scroll through TikTok this morning and they're happier than everView attachment 1291230 q

And now I am deceased.

 

[HotesTilaire]

Can anyone explain to this fairly new fraus what in the LJC the "roadside mum conspiracy" is, pleaseee?

They are terrifyingly similar but not the same person. Just because it’s blatantly untrue doesn’t dissuade the rsmtruthers. Like the 1978truthers.

 

[Thank(space)you]

Can anyone explain to this fairly new fraus what in the LJC the "roadside mum conspiracy" is, pleaseee?

There's a semi serious conspiracy theory that the roadside mum account is actually a jack sock account

 

[veronica71]

As someone who fails regularly at the basics due to my mental health I'm so very pleased that Jack can manage all five of her bucket wish work things with her mad mentals which are worse than anyones ever.


Also surely that thread is just proof she's successful off the back of the poors

 

[FrumpyCat]

There's a semi serious conspiracy theory that the roadside mum account is actually a jack sock account

As much as I'd like this to be true - rsm cosplays at being as common as muck, a sort of anti-Jack, there is too much unwritten hostility between them to be a sock.

 

[Emmapism]

The libel case is going to go well in light of these tweets isn't it. Such reputational damage

 

[FlirtyThirty]

As much as I'd like this to be true - rsm cosplays at being as common as muck, a sort of anti-Jack, there is too much unwritten hostility between them to be a sock.

It would be peak Jack to fall out with her own socks though.

 

[Rekyavikgirl]

TD wrote about her love of collecting shopping lists a few years ago. Jack is such a copycat.

 

[MooBelle]

Can anyone explain to this fairly new fraus what in the LJC the "roadside mum conspiracy" is, pleaseee?

Roadside Mum is the charming individual who had the picture of her kids' lunch parcel go viral during lockdown. At first she was hailed as a hero, however as time has gone on it turns out she is a horror of a person.
She has her own thread on here.
She is so bizarre and like a caricature of 'angry, disabled, bisexual single mother with kids with disabilities and has arguments with literally every person I ever meet because they are ableist/sexist/homophobic/twats'
Oh and also claims to be a traveller but this is put into question by tattlers who are actually part of the like. Apparently her way of speaking is more like someone cosplaying)
The possibility of her being some sort of alter ego of Jack's is a very popular opinion. There is evidence to prove she isn't, but for me there are just too many similarities.
IMHO she is Jack.
(Or Vonny. I'm also convinced she is Vonny)