Jack Monroe #270 I’m even tired of myself right now

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Baby Jack wants to let everyone know that today is her birthday, and she is in her 34th* year.

No gifts necessary, just a donation to Trussell Trust will suffice. Honestly, warm thoughts and good wishes are more than enough, I mean it - oh GO ON, THEN. Here’s my bastard PayPal tip jar if you’re gonna twist my arm. Jeez. (Only round numbers above 20 welcome).

Hopefully someone will stump up ten grand for the shop shack she was hankering after. Perhaps also crowdfund the start-up funds for a cafe that will just sell ham, cucumber and salad cream sandwiches (Wet Pig is a good name).

Ouchie Tooth Mouth #344 is occurring - ffs, don’t bother suggesting remedies, she just needs expensive dentistry, okay? But it may be soothed later by a big old mouthful of Colin (... the Caterpillar, get your minds out of the gutter).

*35th. (Although I failed Maths GCSE, so I can’t be too sure.)
 
Just skidding into the new thread to admonish you all for making me laugh during my zoom call. It's REALLY difficult to surreptitiously Tattle when special days are such comedy gold. Many happy (tax) returns, Jack! 🥳 *Birthday toot tooting with our hats in celebration. No, not for you, Jack.

Also, piss right off, work phone. I want news bulletins not nightmares.
 

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Wealthy or at the very least high income women of the south east: now is ur time to strike if you want a forever smol pixie. A birthday is the perfect low risk of rejection opportunity to pull out all the stops and we are ready for our romance era - fingers poised at mouses ready to investigate at least 2-3 generations of your inevitably posh family, all your Specsavers sponsored red carpet shots, and most excitingly any pressies or dinners will be triangulated.

Jack isn’t booking any live tv or so much as blending any fresh slop for critiquing so pls, pls give us the content we deserve 🙏🏻
 
Got some mild gossip from a photographer I met recently who shot her during lockdown illegally but her PR team never let the pictures go live because it was a ✨ lockdown ✨

- She was transitioning to male during lockdown.

- Didn’t give a single tit about lockdown.

- Has a very calculated PR team

I don’t know much about her or follow these threads but thought I’d drop this here!
 
KYLIE said:
Got some mild gossip from a photographer I met recently who shot her during lockdown illegally but her PR team never let the pictures go live because it was a ✨ lockdown ✨

- She was transitioning to male during lockdown.

- Didn’t give a single tit about lockdown.

- Has a very calculated PR team

I don’t know much about her or follow these threads but thought I’d drop this here!
Click to expand...

"a very calculated PR team" You mean people are getting paid to make her look like a complete wanker?
 
KYLIE said:
Got some mild gossip from a photographer I met recently who shot her during lockdown illegally but her PR team never let the pictures go live because it was a ✨ lockdown ✨

- She was transitioning to male during lockdown.

- Didn’t give a single tit about lockdown.

- Has a very calculated PR team

I don’t know much about her or follow these threads but thought I’d drop this here!
Click to expand...
We are talking about Jack Monroe the food blogger who hasnt paid the Trussell Trust their 10k donation yet? Right?




Is that you Jack? April 1st is not for another 15 days?
 
KYLIE said:
Got some mild gossip from a photographer I met recently who shot her during lockdown illegally but her PR team never let the pictures go live because it was a ✨ lockdown ✨

- She was transitioning to male during lockdown.

- Didn’t give a single tit about lockdown.

- Has a very calculated PR team

I don’t know much about her or follow these threads but thought I’d drop this here!
Click to expand...

Omg it’s Kylie Jenner

Tbf she made the lockdown stuff clear on Twitter, the other bits I shan’t touch with a barge pole. But welcome and thank you!
 
KYLIE said:
Got some mild gossip from a photographer I met recently who shot her during lockdown illegally but her PR team never let the pictures go live because it was a ✨ lockdown ✨

- She was transitioning to male during lockdown.

- Didn’t give a single tit about lockdown.

- Has a very calculated PR team

I don’t know much about her or follow these threads but thought I’d drop this here!
Click to expand...
You’re on the wrong thread right?
 
I don't believe she has a current PR team, savvy or not. They'd tell her to cut her shite if she did.
Also my godson was a few months prem and he was nearly see through and almost died.
She might have been a bit early but not by months, lying cow bag.
PS My godson is all grown up now and a really cool dude with not an ounce of baggy skin on his hands. 😊
 
KYLIE said:
Got some mild gossip from a photographer I met recently who shot her during lockdown illegally but her PR team never let the pictures go live because it was a ✨ lockdown ✨

- She was transitioning to male during lockdown.

- Didn’t give a single tit about lockdown.

- Has a very calculated PR team

I don’t know much about her or follow these threads but thought I’d drop this here!
Click to expand...
 
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