Jack Monroe #256 The Da Vinci Code is easier to solve than her timeline

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The cable of nefarious ninnies trying to establish a timeline for The Destitution:
PlaintiveImmediateAmericanmarten-max-1mb.gif
 
TL;DR

Poetry unworthy of Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz

Much wailing and ranting about tit that Never Happened. ASDA got their delivery and put the rice back on the shelf she couldn't be arsed to walk to and look for herself.

Claiming of credit where it most certainly wasn't due.

LOADSAMONEY.

Fascist Hoodies for the Trustafarians.


And, in her neverending quest to prove the Tory bastards right in everything they say about poor people - she's gonna get another tattoo.



ETA: Scene from Monroe Towers right now -

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I’d recap but I can’t remember much. Every day is the same now.
Jack continues to be lauded as the saver of Smart Price Rice which was available in store, but not on l8ne
Allegedly Sainsbury’s are thinking of taking her back
LJC isn’t. Still no C4 news coverage of the cheap food hyperinflation (that didn’t happen. I’m 344% sure)
The riot t-shirts have started arriving, hope the wonderful desperate people appreciate them.
@colouredlines continues to demonstrate why nobody has ever bothered to check The Poverty timeline.
Jack callled Martin Lewis a friend but he “we have mutual respect”-zoned her.
She’s threatening to spend all that free money she got on another bloody tattoo, some utter whelksplat suggested Vimes’s Boots.
She reckons she’s been working on the Index all week, whilst listening to songs from a 9/11 musical. Neither of those things are good.
The canal continue to write increasingly hilarious names for the Vimes Boots Index...you should all have a prize. An apostrophe badge for each and every one of you! I’m sure Jack hasn’t forgotten about the pin badges and phone cases.
 
Last edited:
Silver Linings said:
Title by @BeautifulTrauma Nominated by @Valiofthedolls

No thread titles until the tail end of the thread, please add ‘thread title’ or ‘thread title nomination/suggestion’. No swearing in them please.

Wiki is the pink button for newbies.
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Well, I’ve been here since the very first thread and this is my first thread title. I’d plan an acceptance speech but I’m not a narcissistic little skiprat like Jack so will graciously say thank you for the honour and allow you all to continue the conversation.

Gracias!
 
Catching up again on the last thread. I knew Jack would be on top of the Vastly Beleaguered Implosion.
She was just being a coy minx, all the while beavering away with wooden calculator, moleskins and special crayons. Bless.

So in just under two days it will be revealed. In fact I think we can soon start to go into hours rather than days. Eek!

 
Heheheh manky old boots are gonna look so tit as a tattoo, especially as she pays her artist in Benson & Hedges and Strongbow. I'm tenting my fingers and cackling with glee in anticipation, just like Mr Asda surveying the hordes of riceless poors while sat upon his piles of money.

These boots are made for walkin
And that's just what they'll do
One of these days these boots are gonna
Get tattooed on you
 
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