Jack Monroe #25 Worst paid advance, posing in her pants, at least Hellmans gave this 10 yr newbie a chance.

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Harrybosch said:
You're on!
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Jesus CHRIST I'm dying of laughter here.

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NozayParka said:
Honestly, I'm mortified I accidentally stole your name! I'll try and change mine, I didnt realise it was an option 😃

(And none of my gifs are working today, FFS!)

Editing to add: I can't message Helen either @NoseyParkour so I might just end up creating a new account. Easily enough done once I think of another name.
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Tattle has been wonky for me all day. I think it’s the fancy (!) blue buttons linking threads that they’ve done.
 
How many hours have passed now, I still keep thinking about that gross tofu slop 😅 I just can’t get my head around how on Earth she thought that would have any impact. I just chuckle to myself every time I think of her manic hissy fit about THAT MAN stealing a job that was best for her! What a bloody joke. One of the many things that make food shows great, is when someone tastes a bit of something they made, and you can see they’re just enjoying what they’ve made so much, it makes you want to have a go. She’s not even impressed with her own cooking, or interested in nibbling bits because it’s so irresistible. I literally don’t understand how she gets TV work, I really don’t.
 
Any Daisy May Cooper fans watch her latest live? She starts it with “Helllllo, anyone here? Three little peepers online” 😭 then gives a few shoutouts to people there.

I know I’d be like jack if I ever went live because I’d suck so I’d never put myself through it, but if she’s going to continue for the £££ she should really get more comfortable by doing random lives throughout the week that aren’t Hellmanns related then tues/thurs wouldn’t seem like a major (or)deal 🤷🏼‍♀️
 
I found this one.



1. It may well be because I’m from the North-East and I grew up in a mining family, however I’ve never known of anyone I know use olive oil for everyday cooking. She’s talking like it’s used for frying bacon and everything?
2. Peanut Butter instead of Tahini? I don’t like hummus or nuts, so it’s not for me. But this just doesn’t sound right. Happy for someone to educate me otherwise though.
3. Basic long grain rice instead of proper risotto rice. We’ve has this conversation many times!
4. Carrots instead of sweet potato. No, just no Jack. Because they are both chunky and root vegetables they’re interchangeable apparently.

If anyone wants to know where the background to ‘yes, absolutely!’ for substitutes came from, it’s definitely this video. It’s like she’s looked for things that are 10% similar as substitutes to save 30p. Rank AF.
It screams of a lack of cookery knowledge.
 
PoorPatrol said:
How many hours have passed now, I still keep thinking about that gross tofu slop 😅 I just can’t get my head around how on Earth she thought that would have any impact. I just chuckle to myself every time I think of her manic hissy fit about THAT MAN stealing a job that was best for her! What a bloody joke. One of the many things that make food shows great, is when someone tastes a bit of something they made, and you can see they’re just enjoying what they’ve made so much, it makes you want to have a go. She’s not even impressed with her own cooking, or interested in nibbling bits because it’s so irresistible. I literally don’t understand how she gets TV work, I really don’t.
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You’re so right - she doesn’t dip a finger in or suck in a spoon, because it’s SO irresistible she cant wait. Like Nigella sneaking down to the fridge in her black satin nightie and dipping her finger in to a dish of something. Filthy.
I had to duck out as I had to cook my own dinner for the family - so I missed said tofu slop! Can’t bring myself to go in and watch more than what I did before though😂
@PennyLoafer - what you said earlier about her being like an alien in human skin! OMG yes! I have thought the same on many occasions of watching her. Perhaps because I recently read Under the Skin (great book)
 
Passive_Agessive_Lemon said:
I’m still catching up on all the Hellman’s weekly car crash posts. But, I just wanted to interject that my tried and trusted coleslaw recipe has mustard seeds in it and they are the bomb
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I make a slaw with just some Greek yoghurt, mustard powder, mustard seeds heated up in oil and then poured into the yoghurt and omg I could eat the dressing just by the spoonful and I swear it's the mustard seeds that takes it to another level, they almost have this popcorn smell as they are popping in the hot oil lol 👌🏻👌🏻🤤
 
Thinking about the possible sales conversions here. 175 at lowest watched the live. Let's say 100 fans were there for Jack, 50 there for Andi and then 25 of us. Very rough guess, but let's run with it. Of those 25 of us, maybe 2 are likely to try new Hellmans products in the next few weeks. Of Andi's fans, possibly they tuned in for her advice and personality, and not really for the mayonaise. So let's say 5 of those might buy Hellmans as a result of the show, in the coming weeks. Of the 100 Jack fans, again, how many are suddenly going to buy Hellmans as a direct result of watching the live? Let's say 50/100. So really, in total, you are looking at a possible sales conversion of roughly 57 jars of mayo. Hardly clearing the shelves, is it?! A very poor financial return for the brand. And each week the 175-200 people are likely the same people, so the reach is not 200 unique people per week, but a likely total of 200 only across the series. I mean... come on!
 
Motherwellgirl said:
I was one of the original kickstarter funders, I have a few of her books, never cooked any of her recipes though. I left twitter last year. I was targeted by a group of people who doxxed and threatened me. Long story. I still have a look on twitter now and then and Jack’s feed makes me very uncomfortable. The dramas, the pile ons. One of the main people who targeted me dog piled me for a year. He only has 14k followers but it’s horrible being on the receiving end of that. If you have a large platform you have the potential to do so much good with it. The gang who harassed me, badly, I had to see police six times last year, constantly threatened me with police and solicitors for challenging the lies they told about me. I’m not comfortable with anyone who uses legal threats to stifle opinion.

She has plenty to say about other people but no one can have an opinion on her, that’s not how it works, particularly if you are reasonably high profile.

She’s clearly hurting just now, split from her partner. Why not just say it?

The vegan thing also really baffles me. I’ve only been vegan just over a year, it’s not that tough to do. Why make a huge drama about going vegan and then call yourself 80/90 per cent plant based and then post comments saying you had a sausage sandwich 4 nights in a row? I remember when she was vegan and then she would start posting that she was getting cravings for pork belly.

I also agree that if you are making half decent money, don’t ask your followers to donate to you. Too many people on twitter seem to think their followers should pay their bills and it’s generally people who don’t have much that give. Enough already.
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Hello @Motherwellgirl and a warm welcome. I’m so sorry you went through that, that is awful! Twitter certainly does seem to attract real dickheads who hide behind their handle and treat people appallingly. The Kickstarter thing still sticks in my craw almost as much as the sickening adoration of her fan club who seem to be brainwashed 🤮
 
Finally got round to watching this evenings new episode, I was pissing myself when that person kept saying 'you're on' just too funny.

It's really annoying how shes never ready on time, shes had all day to prepare yet she still spends the first five mins muttering to herself, buggering off camera for a few mins and fannying about..be organised Jack!!!!

Loved Andi, the one plus about this leftover larder show is the absolutely brilliant guests shes been having on, worth the cringe factor just to get to see them knowledgabley chatting away.
 
Hunty said:
I make a slaw with just some Greek yoghurt, mustard powder, mustard seeds heated up in oil and then poured into the yoghurt and omg I could eat the dressing just by the spoonful and I swear it's the mustard seeds that takes it to another level, they almost have this popcorn smell as they are popping in the hot oil lol 👌🏻👌🏻🤤
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Yes! I don’t usually use mustard powder but this is what I do with the seeds with Greek yoghurt, Mayo, carrots, red cabbage and onion. So good with any sort of BBQ items 😊
 
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