Jack Monroe #233 Please leave me and my cat alone

[BananaSmith]

Cat twitter in the USA discovers Jack....this could go badly

 

[Toffee finger]

well, tit, apologies for doubting you jack

She lies so much it’s hard not to doubt her!

Tiny, cat-sized water rower, obviously.

 

[EllaEm87]

My cat is fat. The vet tells us he is fat. Piss all we can do though, we can’t force him to exercise and he’ll find food somehow.

Coopsymate is fatter than my cat. Same low hanging fur/ belly too.

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

Can we all take a moment for @MancBee in the middle of today’s chaos. I fear there is far too much catchat for a chef at this busy time.

 

[HotesTilaire]

I saw sweetie T in Home Alone 2 rocking a tan and masculine aesthetic.
ETA I would just give anything for a recipe using up sprouts, like beer battered deep fried sprouts, for example

 

[skronkywildcat]

bleeping Jorts has quote-tweeted her now.

 

[Silver Linings]

 

[Into_the_tunnel]

View attachment 944812 q

I will do a holler when she gives me the granola.

 

[BlendedSlop]

HMRC will do a holler when you PAY YOUR bleeping TAXES.

Also, as much as I love them, buttered cats will never be as iconic as buttered snakes

 

[traumatised sideboard]

Just so you know dear heart, I am still tallying every Thankyou and I will be updating Slopbot's databases once Father Slopmas has returned to the North Pole so if you want to be petty, I can be pettier

Edit: we're both doing our nails @BlendedSlop have you got the Tippex out too?

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

God if you’re listening pls make this stop x

 

[KebabGirl]

 

[heretoreaditall2019]

View attachment 944818 q

 

[Shawads]

He didn't say 'pushing them in'.

Shes muddled up Tutu with thatcher. Easily done

 

[kachoochoo]

View attachment 944812 q

I bleeping changed my bio for you, jorts, and yet you reply to that cow! it's over! hmph!

 

[Shesaidwhat?]

View attachment 944818 q

 

[EddieBeds]

I know I’m overlooking the serious problems of this piece but proof reading Jack has never existed…‘All the mothers were sat in push chairs’?! ETA: why push(space)chair when it’s one word?!

Also putting butter on cat paws reminds me of a bit from Topsy and Tim where they move house and their ‘kitty’ runs away and when she returns their mum puts butter on Kitty’s paws. As a non cat owner I never understood this and wondered why the hell they put butter on the cat - assumed it was something whacky left over from the original publications that hadn’t been corrected/updated.

 

[meowquiz]

The eyes on that kitten, when it's too far away from her to facetune them, look so unhealthy.

 

[Walkdengirl]

My word, I have Christmas Day off and come back to a cat chaos.

My friend has Norwegian forest cats and they are huge, their paws after amazing. Cooper isn't as big as them, another friend has Maine coon cats,b again coops is nowhere near as big as them. I fell sorry for him having to live with her.

My daughter and her husband have a beautiful Calico cat that the vet has put on a diet as she's too fat, she doesn't eat a lot but is an indoor cat (she came as a rescue cat, a long story but doesn't want to go outside and they have tried) so no one else is feeding her. She is a big, long cat, when she stands on her back legs her paws reach the kitchen worktop.

 

[HotesTilaire]

Obviously a buttered snake moves faster than an unbuttered one, they do say to put butter on the cat’s paws so it can find it’s way home but I reckon they can do it without butter as well <who bleeping knows>