Jack Monroe #227 Between major and priest

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Make it stop! What do these squiggles see that we don’t? I know I was blinkered in the beginning but, but, but…
 

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ChickenPorridge said:
There's no way in hell that any of the regular squiggles who read that exchange aren't thinking 'but she does eat a lot of canned fish'. No way.
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Although the fish argy bargy is, without irony, more dead catting to squash the vile behaviour yesterday.
duck off Jack, your kitchen cupboard basically rivals the John West warehouse. And special guest Charles (I shan’t summon him just for this) literally gave you his tinned sardine advent calendar blueprint!
Catfish! I am gonna call Max and Nev to deal with this!
 
HotesTilaire said:
Although the fish argy bargy is, without irony, more dead catting to squash the vile behaviour yesterday.
duck off Jack, your kitchen cupboard basically rivals the John West warehouse. And special guest Charles (I shan’t summon him just for this) literally gave you his tinned sardine advent calendar blueprint!
Catfish! I am gonna call Max and Nev to deal with this!
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I've just remembered the advent calendar! Never eats fish but wants a daily can of the stuff! :ROFLMAO: :ROFLMAO: :ROFLMAO:
 
Veronicaaa said:
Our fault, as usual. Glad you've cheered up Jack. Nothing seems to make you happier than making other people miserable.

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Jack is a daft bleep. All the squiggles have seen her posts and how she got totally owned.

But she still has to do a triumphant ousting the troll, sign off
It would take a special type of thickness not to realise fish squiggle was posting from concern
And the squiggles- oh hang on, as you were.
 
She's on a fucken mad one lads, she's even come up with her own cabal conspiracy theory. We don't want to engage with you, you unrelenting prune. We're also not on the dark web, like you can see all our messages on a public forum, not to mention if we were planning to break the rules and cross the streams those posts would be gone instantly. Being ejected from the cabal is not worth it to tell a silly twit who eats too much tinned fish that they eat too much tinned fish. I'm starting to worry we're caught in some sort of time ouroboros because it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas 2020 🎄
 
Falkor said:
Another strike off notice has been issued (this is her third since the company was incorporated in March 2018, which is quite something) and will be published in the Gazette on 14th December. She has 2 months from that date to get her accounts filed to Companies House's satisfaction, or provide an EXTREMELY good reason why the company shouldn't be struck off, and if she can't produce either then the company will be dissolved and everything in it will belong to the government.

Probably worth noting that Companies House and HMRC are two different entities and cover different things.

Companies House - for filing your company accounts and confirmation statements. Jack or Jack's accountants need to file accounts within 9 months of the company year end each year, so since the year end is 31st March, accounts are due 31st December. The confirmation statement covers things like who the directors are and needs to be filed within 2 weeks of the anniversary of the company's formation, so Jack's is due between 15th and 29th March each year. It literally takes about 3 mouse clicks and entering your payment card details if there are no changes.

HMRC - where you submit your company tax return, which includes your profit or loss for corporation tax (confusingly, not the same as the profit and loss from your Companies House accounts, quite often) and your corporation tax bill. The corporation tax return is due 12 months after the end of the accounting period it covers (so 31st March the following year for Jack), but you have to pay the tax bill nine months and one day after the end of the accounting period (1st January for Jack), so you need to be pretty on top of it.

We know Jack is now at the maximum level of fines for Companies House, but we don't know whether there are fines accumulating on the corporation tax - it's entirely possible the corporation tax has been calculated and paid correctly within the time limits, although I don't know why the Companies House accounts wouldn't have been filed if that was the case. But just for completeness, HMRC's fines go like this:

1 day late - £100
3 months late - another £100
6 months late - HMRC will estimate your tax due and add a penalty of 10% of the unpaid tax
12 months late - Another 10% of unpaid tax added

If you get to the 6 months late stage, you can't appeal against HMRC's estimation of the amount due.

In fact, I've just realised what the date will be two months after the Gazette notice, the first day the company can be dissolved - we could be in for a Valentine's Day chaos to end all chaoses.
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I don’t know where this will land but

a) I am in awe of people like you and

b)
 
I know everyone’s got their one particular thing that really does it for them (granola, etc) but for me it’s sad little abused and neglected call4fish. I am picturing a greyish man sitting on the floor rocking and crying every time she does a fish chaos and doesn’t invoke the freezer full of fish or feature a fresh [call4] fish recipe. Poor call4fish isn‘t even angry because he’s too pure. He’s just bewildered and very, very sad.

Hope springs eternal in the breast of Call4Fish though and he will often tweet a little happy reminder tweet… only to be brushed off or ignored. He just wants to give her some fish. IS THIS TOO MUCH TO ASK? Call, please call… 4 fish.
 
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