Jack Monroe #195 She basically writes fan-fiction about herself

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MancBee said:
Should I buy a bath bomb, a scented candle and listen to some up-tempo 80's crappy music whilst turning to a prune in the bath?

memememememe Had some really crappy health news yesterday. Trying to take it all in and make sense of it all. I have just got over one type of cancer, all clear in a letter a few weeks ago. End of the lockdown in sight, things are finally looking more positive.

Then the doctor rang out of the blue mid afternoon, only to tell me I most likely have another type of cancer. Emergency admission to a London hospital one day next week for biopsies, but my scans/blood tests/physical examination last week are pretty conclusive.

I am always positive about prospects, but even I am finding it hard this time. The thought of going through treatment and operations again just fills me with despair. Fingers crossed they have got it wrong this time.


Thanks to you lot of ninnies for providing me with a distraction, humour and support. It really does help.
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Oh Manc I’m so sorry to hear this, especially after everything you’ve just been through. No wonder it’s hard for you to feel positive just now, but I hope it helps that you’ve got literally hundreds of mithering ninnies here who can be positive for you. Keeping everything crossed for you ❤️
 
Thanks for the kind words, I know that they are truly meant, and they do help.

During my night of limited sleep last night (mind all over the place) my thoughts kept returning to Jack for some odd reason.

I can see that Jack is attractive, some might say pretty and she is photogenic albeit partially the results of photoshop. However she has zero sex appeal. She just isn't sexy at all. I don't know what makes someone attractive, desirable, sultry or alluring, but some people just are.

I have said before on here, I am not what you would call handsome, good looking or photogenic, but I seem to have that spark that people find sexy. I have no idea why. There are loads of stories, It became a bit of a joke with my friends (Christ we've only been in here 5 minutes, that sort of thing), but they would be far too off topic. 😂:eek:

I just kept going round and round trying to make sense of why she is so unsexy, what makes her so unappealing and without any sensuality. She is not raunchy in any way even when she tries to be sexy it comes across as yucky, or gauche darling (granny pants anyone)............ Well at least it kept me occupied. 😂😂
 
Consultant and speaker hahaha. Jack, when was the last time you earned money from doing either of those things? Or have you listed them because you have said words out loud before and someone (cod help them) asked your opinion once?

@MancBee don't torture yourself further by thinking about Sexy Jack, you're adding insult to injury! I can also see why other people might find her attractive but she does herself absolutely no favours. Her attempts to be alluring, seductive or risqué make me feel like I need a decontamination shower and a stomach pump.
 
MancBee said:
Thanks for the kind words, I know that they are truly meant, and they do help.

During my night of limited sleep last night (mind all over the place) my thoughts kept returning to Jack for some odd reason.

I can see that Jack is attractive, some might say pretty and she is photogenic albeit partially the results of photoshop. However she has zero sex appeal. She just isn't sexy at all. I don't know what makes someone attractive, desirable, sultry or alluring, but some people just are.

I have said before on here, I am not what you would call handsome, good looking or photogenic, but I seem to have that spark that people find sexy. I have no idea why. There are loads of stories, It became a bit of a joke with my friends (Christ we've only been in here 5 minutes, that sort of thing), but they would be far too off topic. 😂:eek:

I just kept going round and round trying to make sense of why she is so unsexy, what makes her so unappealing and without any sensuality. She is not raunchy in any way even when she tries to be sexy it comes across as yucky, or gauche darling (granny pants anyone)............ Well at least it kept me occupied. 😂😂
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Sending you a big hug @MancBee ... 🌻. Hopefully they'll be no Jack of the granny pants thoughts tonight and you'll sleep better x
 
MancBee said:
Thanks for the kind words, I know that they are truly meant, and they do help.

During my night of limited sleep last night (mind all over the place) my thoughts kept returning to Jack for some odd reason.

I can see that Jack is attractive, some might say pretty and she is photogenic albeit partially the results of photoshop. However she has zero sex appeal. She just isn't sexy at all. I don't know what makes someone attractive, desirable, sultry or alluring, but some people just are.

I have said before on here, I am not what you would call handsome, good looking or photogenic, but I seem to have that spark that people find sexy. I have no idea why. There are loads of stories, It became a bit of a joke with my friends (Christ we've only been in here 5 minutes, that sort of thing), but they would be far too off topic. 😂:eek:

I just kept going round and round trying to make sense of why she is so unsexy, what makes her so unappealing and without any sensuality. She is not raunchy in any way even when she tries to be sexy it comes across as yucky, or gauche darling (granny pants anyone)............ Well at least it kept me occupied. 😂😂
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I think it's because she is inauthentic but you are the real deal that's a huge difference.
You are interesting clever and humane and that's attractive that's magnetic.
Sometimes in life we can become cynical why is it always the grifters and manipulators that seem to win but that's not true is it?
People that radiate humour and warmth and goodwill towards others will always ultimately be recognised and you are one of those people.
If their is any justice in the world this will stand you in good stead in the difficult days ahead.
I wish you well.
 
Bloomin Ada said:
TBH I don't think T&G are the sole culprits. I remember the VS hairdressers (ironically the same shop as T&G took over) once cut a school friend's hair. It can best be described as a pineapple.... seriously. Her head became a pineapple. This was the early 80s and even then it stuck out. Perhaps a pineapple is something JM could consider being food based and all ...
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As usual, Jack has half-arsed it.

blns0uy0t7oz.jpg



MancBee said:
I can see that Jack is attractive, some might say pretty and she is photogenic albeit partially the results of photoshop. However she has zero sex appeal. She just isn't sexy at all. I don't know what makes someone attractive, desirable, sultry or alluring, but some people just are.
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I've thought this too. I often fancy women who look like Jack and loved the short hair, tats, and androgynous look in my lesbian days. But she does absolutely nothing for me. I think it's because it's so insincere, and it doesn't really seem like her look. It's like she's wearing a 'sexy butch lesbian' Halloween costume that she bought from a fancy dress shop.

Allegra really does it for me though. I like that she seems comfortable in her own skin. I bet she'd be a laugh.
 
Dogmuck said:
Matts gone 🥳🙌👏👋🖕
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Oh tit, think I've worked out her new job hence the media return
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Her undercut will be getting an airing in all the press conferences! It makes sense now

SHANT apologise for my shoddy Photoshop as I had my first jab early this morning and I've had a headache all day (but mainly cause I'm concerned about putting more effort into a meme than jack did into her 5 figure Hellman's show 😂)

@MancBee you are a delight when you post and it's so unfair to hear you've had yet more awful news. Wishing you all the best x
 
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Sideboard Bob said:
I can’t believe she’s got “social justice” in her bio. I wonder what her first campaign will be? Hopefully she’ll be leading the apparently inevitable class action lawsuit against Toni and Guy as their most recent victim.
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Yeah!! And the justice of not being shafted financially by scammers. I just can't let the beige postcards lie!

It's mind boggling how Jack thinks she's on some kind of crusade for social justice when she's taking money every month for feck all, and making unfulfilled promises.

And what about the shopping trolley!!!!?? Where the hell is it!!??🤣🤣🤣
 
MancBee said:
Should I buy a bath bomb, a scented candle and listen to some up-tempo 80's crappy music whilst turning to a prune in the bath?

memememememe Had some really crappy health news yesterday. Trying to take it all in and make sense of it all. I have just got over one type of cancer, all clear in a letter a few weeks ago. End of the lockdown in sight, things are finally looking more positive.

Then the doctor rang out of the blue mid afternoon, only to tell me I most likely have another type of cancer. Emergency admission to a London hospital one day next week for biopsies, but my scans/blood tests/physical examination last week are pretty conclusive.

I am always positive about prospects, but even I am finding it hard this time. The thought of going through treatment and operations again just fills me with despair. Fingers crossed they have got it wrong this time.


Thanks to you lot of ninnies for providing me with a distraction, humour and support. It really does help.
Click to expand...
Rollercoaster of a day, first we find out we were mid 90s haircut twins, now this. Sending you lots of good wishes Manc, lucky for you I’ve found the cure for depression which means The Breakdown can be exterminated immediately
5EE35456-CB41-45BA-B4AD-AB93EAD4ED9B.jpeg
 
HotesTilaire said:
Rollercoaster of a day, first we find out we were mid 90s haircut twins, now this. Sending you lots of good wishes Manc, lucky for you I’ve found the cure for depression which means The Breakdown can be exterminated immediately
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I laughed at this because if I didn't I'd get angry. I've been told to pull my socks up and just think of baby animals or whatever so many times. Yes, a floof will make me smile but if I can't leave my bed no amount of cute bums will help.

ETA not angry at you! Just dimwits and their cures :)
 
MaineCoonMama said:
I laughed at this because if I didn't I'd get angry. I've been told to pull my socks up and just think of baby animals or whatever so many times. Yes, a floof will make me smile but if I can't leave my bed no amount of cute bums will help.
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Sometimes you have to face it- things are tit, you feel tit, hopefully in the future they will be less tit. Pass some time looking at cattos, have a cup of tea, still feel tit. That’s life.
 
traumatised sideboard said:
Consultant and speaker hahaha. Jack, when was the last time you earned money from doing either of those things? Or have you listed them because you have said words out loud before and someone (cod help them) asked your opinion once?

@MancBee don't torture yourself further by thinking about Sexy Jack, you're adding insult to injury! I can also see why other people might find her attractive but she does herself absolutely no favours. Her attempts to be alluring, seductive or risqué make me feel like I need a decontamination shower and a stomach pump.
Click to expand...
Her problem with being sexy is she tries to hard. People are truly sexy and alluring when they are being themselves, dress in something that not only flatters but what they are comfortable in and shows their personality. ( We have established she has none) i find if i spent hours dolling myself up in something im not completely comfortable in, i get less compliments than sometimes if i am just wearing regular clothes. ( Honestly)

She uses multiple personalities ( none of which are her own) she dresses to fit that narrative again not her own which means she comes across as strange and desperate and totally misses the sexy sultry point, despite being conventionally good looking..
 
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