Jack Monroe #19 Is it a show? Miguel's not sure. I am Jack, hear me ROAR!

[NP]

Well what can I say. It was awful, and wouldn't inspire me to buy it even if I'd never found the first thread here. It's all mememe and one of her favourite words gnarly has made an appearance to describe swedes!
I took a screenshot...
I read this out to hubby and he says it sounds like she has the same editor/proof reader as eel James

This statement about the knives fills me with horror

Why so many adjectives for her sofa? What relevance is that to the reader? More importantly why is she using a bread knife for everything?

 

[MrsOgre]

I've deleted it thankfully, I can't keep rubbish like that. Hubs says it's ramblings of a lunatic. How do these books get published?

I'll leave you with this snippet from Matt Haig

 

[BeautifulTrauma]

Surely Haig has been slinged (get it?! ) a fair few quid in his direction to act as a promoter for this tit book

You know, if I went and became my alternate ego I would actually create a Twitter account called BootbuckleCook and go through every tweet like the guy from the Netherlands and replied to each one how Jack should have replied to it.

For example: “Thank you so much for your support! I’ve just checked Royal Mail and postage to the Netherlands would be x. I can get it out with the others tomorrow if that’s okay? Just DM me with your name so I know the right person. Thank you again and enjoy your evening ”

Show her up for the complete fool she actually is. But y’know, I worry I’d be banned from Tattle because of being on her Twitter on my crusade to show her an acceptable business like way of talking to people instead of passive aggression.

 

[Silver Linings]

This MH focus of the book is bleeping me right off. I’m not cynical enough to believe it’s been rushed out with little or utter tit promotion just because we’re all suffering at the mo (some genuine, some just bored at home), but she could have really hammered home the tin can cook shtick, that might have actually been a usp for her, despite it being an age old tactic.

oh jesus, so many commas. Time for bed in my surprisingly comfortable, yet efficient, bed shaped bed, or some such bollocks.


Is this how Jack gets into bed?

 

[Bobtheknob]

I've just downloaded a sample of her book onto my kindle and I'm going in

Ruddy bloody brave!

 

[Tabitha D]

It took me seconds to go to Royal mail and find the cost for shipping internationally.

Exactly. It’s not exactly a big deal. And it certainly isn’t “a week’s work” as she claims. Such a drama queen

Sweet suffering Jesus -why didn't she just get the post office office to pick them up - or failing that I'm sure someone could have couriered them to the post office. Maybe Vix when she popped over for that social distancing date.

EXACTLY! Royal Mail will pick stuff up from your home address if you have a multiple delivery. I’ve used this service myself. But Jack wants to martyr herself for the pity points.

I've just downloaded a sample of her book onto my kindle and I'm going in

Bloody hell. Brave. Let us know how you get on!

I've deleted it thankfully, I can't keep rubbish like that. Hubs says it's ramblings of a lunatic. How do these books get published?

I'll leave you with this snippet from Matt Haig

Says a man who almost certainly will never cook any of her “deprecipes”. While no doubt thinking that the povs will be doffing their caps in appreciation. They have no teeth you see! No education! They don’t have refined palates like us poshos! They will be grateful for this terrible slop! What a marvellous thing Jack is doing for these people who know no better!

 

[Blurp]

I zoomed in on the postcards in the comp, her hand is filthy!

No, that's the Greek in her making her dark ... that or another flipping filter upping the contrast ... Sheesh. Nothing is simple, clean and appetizing around her.

Oh, I watched Shivi do a live Insta this afternoon. She really needs some tips from our Jack; I mean, she was on time, the "tech" worked, the screen wasn't flipped, and she actually was articulate and made sense. That's obviously not how you're supposed to do it!

 

[BubbleDuck]

Having downloaded and read the free sample on kindle, I can hand on heart say I’d rather take my £5 , grate it into a rinsed bean, corned beef and tinned peach self loathing stew, eat the entire portion and wash it down with a pint of horse spunk sauce, than purchase and read the entire book

 

[Tabitha D]

No, that's the Greek in her making her dark ... that or another flipping filter upping the contrast ... Sheesh. Nothing is simple, clean and appetizing around her.

Oh, I watched Shivi do a live Insta this afternoon. She really needs some tips from our Jack; I mean, she was on time, the "tech" worked, the screen wasn't flipped, and she actually was articulate and made sense. That's obviously not how you're supposed to do it!

Yes the filter thing is a bit weird. Apply a filter to make the teeth and eye whites unnaturally gleaming, to smooth out the skin - BUT leave the actual food (and hands) to look as unappetising as possible.
Priorities?

 

[Cookiecookie]

Another promo tweet from her, at, erm, twenty five to one in the morning. The publishers must have washed their hands of this book.



whenever this comes up she claims it’s her cypriot skin and we’re all racists. They do just look grubby there though, although she does use godawful filters (not on her face though, your honour). Grim.

Yes, I remember her using that excuse. The Greek Cypriots I know, and I live somewhere with a fairly large population of them, would be absolutely outraged at her implying dirty looking hands are part of their heritage!

 

[emm]

G8 summit: 'Leaders feasted, while kids went hungry to bed'

Blogger Jack Monroe waited in vain for Britain to take a lead on hunger as world leaders met last week in Northern Ireland

www.independent.co.uk

Echo's Jack to challenge world leaders at G8

THE Echo’s Jack Monroe will be telling Barack Obama and David Cameron about global poverty and hunger at the G8 summit.

www.echo-news.co.uk

It’s kind of like she’s implying we shouldn’t give foreign aid ? Wtf

Oh here we go again, she's lugging loads of books, single handedly, trudging to the post office with them on her back.
Like Jesus carrying the cross

Loads of people are still doing early morning tv/ radio to advertise books or whatever what does she think, the tv/ radio have been switched off?? She hasn’t been asked to do any/ her agent clearly hasn’t been able to get her work... yes it’s a weird time but most things are continuing (albeit ina different way)

Oh hello. Are we related?!

She's had an online shop for years and still hasn't figured out how to do international shipping.View attachment 139774 q

In what way is that a weeks work? It’s a few hours max!,

that’s ok Jack he only wanted to buy a bloody signed copy of YOUR book but you can’t be bothered to google pricing to the Netherlands for him. Not even a thank you for the support!

As usual just has to turn it into how hard working she is never anything positive in her replies

Well what can I say. It was awful, and wouldn't inspire me to buy it even if I'd never found the first thread here. It's all mememe and one of her favourite words gnarly has made an appearance to describe swedes!
I took a screenshot...
I read this out to hubby and he says it sounds like she has the same editor/proof reader as eel James

This statement about the knives fills me with horror

60 knives?! And I, not. A chef by any means, but a serrated knife makes cutting most fruit and veg a nightmare

 

[Bellybutton lint]

EXACTLY! Royal Mail will pick stuff up from your home address if you have a multiple delivery. I’ve used this service myself. But Jack wants to martyr herself for the pity points.

 

[colouredlines]

Does kicking a man on the train count as high adventure?

 

[Bellybutton lint]

Good morning my favourite snuggle bunnies and joyous pallies

Catching up now to see what our cook, author, writer, does TV & radio, political analyst, shed painter, DIY expert, weightlifter, creative chef, tea recipe maverick and all-around teller of massive porkies is up to.

Oh hello. Are we related?!

She's had an online shop for years and still hasn't figured out how to do international shipping.View attachment 139774 q

Customs decs? TO the EU? Do duck off Jack, it's a book of slop you are sending. Last I looked the UK is still in the EU you plank.

I really do hope that she has in fact sent superfan’s book out with the rest of them.

If superfan does not get her copy, I will get a twitter account and tweet Jack to stand by her promise. Might even tag THAT MAN in for an extra giggle.

 

[JulieScoobyDoo]

The new book is crap. It’s tiny, shittest quality paper and black and white illustrations rather than photos of the food

She’s getting over excited about the giveaway? With “oooooh” and “agghhh” exclamations? They’re £10 prizes, Jack, calm down. It’s just such a blatant way of getting your numbers up

 

[Bellybutton lint]

My husband has this theory. If you need to continually tell people how hard you work 20 hours a day, you really are not working hard at all.
Take her shitshed showdown on Tuesday. She said she had 1 hours sleep, yet when she went live (groan) she was so unprepared and looked like a complete goon that the 1 hour sleep was bullshit. Also we think that in a few days time she will launch a fund raiser for books for mental health organisations to bump her way up the book chart. Course this is just our opinion...

The new book is crap. It’s tiny, shittest quality paper and black and white illustrations rather than photos of the food

What do you expect from someone who throws, oh sorry bungs slopin a bowl and calls it food.

View attachment 139863 q

BTW you can also use your kitchen scales to weigh the book for postage wise, for all of the EU. JM you really are such a didldohead.

 

[Jelly Bean]

The new book is crap. It’s tiny, shittest quality paper and black and white illustrations rather than photos of the food

A cookery book with no colour photos? I'm aware this might be a blessing but what a strange choice to make.

 

[Bellybutton lint]

A cookery book with no colour photos? I'm aware this might be a blessing but what a strange choice to make.

Because JM is a tightwad when it comes to things like this. Do it on the cheap, the sycophants will buy it anyway.

View attachment 139863 q

And it isn't as if she has no printer ink either.

 

[The Devils Arse]

Why is the sofa seductively comfortable, yet impractically blue?!

Because it is a FANCY sofa

 

[Okab15]

Surely Haig has been slinged (get it?! ) a fair few quid in his direction to act as a promoter for this tit book

You know, if I went and became my alternate ego I would actually create a Twitter account called BootbuckleCook and go through every tweet like the guy from the Netherlands and replied to each one how Jack should have replied to it.

For example: “Thank you so much for your support! I’ve just checked Royal Mail and postage to the Netherlands would be x. I can get it out with the others tomorrow if that’s okay? Just DM me with your name so I know the right person. Thank you again and enjoy your evening ”

Show her up for the complete fool she actually is. But y’know, I worry I’d be banned from Tattle because of being on her Twitter on my crusade to show her an acceptable business like way of talking to people instead of passive aggression.

Yes this - in my head I wanted to respond to the person on insta who said it was a bit basic more appropriately.
Bootbucklecook: “Sorry to hear it was to your liking, I try to cater for all types of cook and especially to those with a limited range of ingredients due to money (even if I am working with a big bucks brand here!). Come back next week, I might try something a bit more complex!”