Jack Monroe #186 The bromelain in canned pineapple is denatured

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traumatised sideboard said:
At 5:57pm Sweet Shop Jack was so boring I decided to leave and make dinner after jokingly posting about Curly-Wurlys being bigger as a child. At 6:11pm Jack replies to someone saying Curly-Wurlys were bigger as a child. Move over, @Orphan_Black dear heart, I am positively fizzing with psychic energy like a Dip Dab clutched in the meaty paws of a smol pixie.
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I still remember the sketch from a Scottish comedy show (Chewing the Fat perhaps?) some years ago about Curlywurlies. Men get it all wrong with women - chocolate is not a substitute for sex, sex is a substitute for chocolate. After all, what man can live up to a Curlywurly?

Of course, that was in the days when Curlywurlies were ginormous....
 
Uh oh I see they've wrestled the phone(s) back off whoever was guarding them while they were having their 'treatment' ,we're gonna have a whole weekend of non-stop Twitter bollox aren't we ...starting with the retro sweets nonsense ,next up will probably be what was your favourite school dinner or were you a Magpie or Blue Peter or Tiswas or Multi Coloured Swap Shop Frau or Herr ...bit before your time Jack when you are grunking 🤦.
 
kachoochoo said:
another sweets thread?! boring 😴

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I treated myself to a reread of thread 31 earlier. I just wanted to remind myself of "sad little face". she'd given up printing it all out by then 🤣
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Grunkaing, so apologies if already stated. I've got 8yrs on Jack, I've even got vague memories of the 1/2p existing. Those sweeties were more than a penny when I was a child. They'd certainly have been more by the 90s when she would've been buying them.

MaineCoonMama said:
We don't have caterpillar cakes here, as far as I know. Lolly Jack is killing my sweet tooth anyway.
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Just the Woolies mud cake, which is brown and kinda gross for all its hype tbh. I bet Jack would love it 😂
 
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Mel Donte said:
I'll bake a vegan caterpillar cake but will only share it with those who have been in my vagina.
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I’m on my way

People-huv-tae-know said:
I'd give the Frys 5 centre ago if they were vegan, they already do 5 vegan fondant bars ❤ Jack is so boring. I bet she thought sitting on that pink sofa would make her look younger because it has the softy soft glow of a thousand wool suns. Her brick cake must have fallen off the ceiling after she threw it up there for the DIVA awards, that's where her eyes kept darting to during the vid. Then it fell off and hit her on the head and reset her to ye auld sweet shoppe mode. 💤 'mon Jack you can do better than this.

Also shocked to read that about Tom Kitchin. I met him a few years after the incident and had no idea. He certainly didn't come across as a bully. Restaurant kitchens are incredibly stressful places to work but that is no excuse for his behaviour. Maybe the backlash has helped him to change and become a nicer person.
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They were amazing and almost certainly vegan, my family WhatsAPP has turned them into such a cult item that I’m almost scared that if they came back they wouldn’t live up to my memories.
 
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So I went to the font of all knowledge
SLOPBOT V.1 5.png
 
Lanie said:
In 1999 the Belfast telegraph was 28p. I used to get 30p to buy it and always treated myself to either 1 bubaloo or 2 golfball chewing gums for the walk home. Wasn't I maverick also apparently some girl in my school had sex with a KitKat chunky. Pretty sure it's made up but still something equally ridiculous for her to read ain't it.
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It was a Marsbar here, I wonder what chocolate bar Jack will choose to tell the story about?
 
Did she bury the Diva award winning under irn bru tablet chat because her acceptance speech was quite bad? Or she doesn't want any questions about how she influenced the 'redesign of the benefit system'?

The joke is on the Diva awards, as this shows exactly what a tit/unprofessional influencer she is. Beyond Tattle, nobody is talking about her winning this. What an influencer, eh?
 
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