Jack Monroe #181 Time flies when you’re judging slop

[moosesauna]

Just in case any of our vegan Frauen and Herren are feeling left out...



Jack claims it's just as good as the real thing. Having now seen her pork belly, I believe her.

guhhhh, i don't know what's worse - the horrific looking globule in the bowl or the heavy breathing in the back!!!

 

[Candytuft]

What the hecking heck is that swooshing noise in the background?

As for the "vegan pork", it looks like something my Granddad used to cough up. He had silicosis from working down the mines, huge gobs full of phlegm. . Sorry to anyone still eating lunch.

Smol ickle bowl.
That portion wouldn’t feed a (brambly) teensy weensy mouse.

 

[Jelly Bean]

Jack's food always reminds me of that joke:

'Two elderly women are at a retreat in the Catskill Mountains. One asks the other what the food is like, the other answers - 'Terrible. And such small portions'.

 

[holliebollie]

That video takes me back to when Gillian McKeith was all the rage. All over the place dissecting people’s nuggets

 

[Tabitha D]

Ok, chaps. No posting of the password (have removed this and the recipe). Let's face it, she most probably did it on purpose for attention / editing / to catch us out? Whatever the reason, it doesn't seem plausible that it was a mistake.

It’s still up on her website too, password protected. You’d think if it was a mistake, she’d have taken it down.

 

[kachoochoo]

Just in case any of our vegan Frauen and Herren are feeling left out...



Jack claims it's just as good as the real thing. Having now seen her pork belly, I believe her.

dr pimple popper video energy. but less appetising

 

[Whaa?]

Did we just somehow 'hack' Jack?
If so, I'm not comfortable with that.

Did we? I thought the recipe had been found online? @WaffleMaker ?

 

[Emmapism]

I love it when she says you cook the onions for a few minutes to take off the "acerbic edge". Onions are "Acerbic", really?

God she's such a berk. The cutting wit of those onions....

Better get them cooked!!

 

[Veronicaaa]

Did we? I thought the recipe had been found online? @WaffleMaker ?

The recipe is on her website, but password protected. The password is the most obvious thing ever.

 

[MaineCoonMama]

God she's such a berk. The cutting wit of those onions....

Better get them cooked!!

I was laughing so much at that! She really is bleeping dumb.

 

[Lisbon]

The Eye of Sauron was the first thing I thought of and I knew the cabal’s excellent photoshopping skills would not disappoint

Can you have a word Poca and get our profile pictures some pineapple hats?

I *might* have an issue with the hats

 

[Eurgh]

So by for a TV company, does she mean for LJC and potentially a colleague of LJCs?

Could this be the famous Mary Portas dinner?

 

[Whaa?]

The recipe is on her website, but password protected. The password is the most obvious thing ever.

Hard to believe that was not deliberate on Jacks part, I know that a lot of what ! does stretches credibility. I cannot believe that this will not start off some screeching about bullying ninnies and possibly even theft on ! part. Edit - frustrated with the pronouns.

 

[sleepisforwimps]

I love it when she says you cook the onions for a few minutes to take off the "acerbic edge". Onions are "acerbic", really?

I dunno, I have always found them rather sarcastic...

 

[waffle maker]

Did we? I thought the recipe had been found online? @WaffleMaker ?

It’s on her website and I guessed the password as it was really easy (like the most obvious one you can think of for the recipe). I’m embarrassed at myself getting involved in this caper!

 

[colouredlines]

Gun to your head situation. Would you eat Jack's pork belly or Jack's vegan pork belly?

I'm torn. I want to say real pork belly, because I could mask it with a lot of chutney, but on the other hand it looks more likely to give me food poisoning.

 

[emm]

Gun to your head situation. Would you eat Jack's pork belly or Jack's vegan pork belly?

I'm torn. I want to say real pork belly, because I could mask it with a lot of chutney, but on the other hand it looks more likely to give me food poisoning.

although at least the meat actually resembles something edible, I cannot even begin to imagine what the hell that vegan one is made of

 

[Veronicaaa]

OK this is a theory, based on the fact that it's odd to see two of Jack's ~recipes~ appear on the same day. Perhaps she thought that Del Monte were going to publish the pineapple jackfruit disaster today, not the pork belly. So she sent the email out in anticipation of that, but it was locked by Del Monte because it hasn't been signed off. Or she meant to send out the pork belly recipe but accidentally sent out the pineapple one.

No need, hun! Just take a wild guess.

 

[Eurgh]

Gun to your head situation. Would you eat Jack's pork belly or Jack's vegan pork belly?

I'm torn. I want to say real pork belly, because I could mask it with a lot of chutney, but on the other hand it looks more likely to give me food poisoning.

I'm a Jewish vegan and I don't think I could eat that jackfruit mess...

 

[Flash123]

I have had beans (not rinsed) on toast with a cheese hat.

I had tomato soup with some sliced baguette with garlic butter hat!