Jack Monroe #157 Every time Jack lies, a Tattler is born

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Pocahontas

Pocahontas

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Congratulations to @Orphan_Black for the words and @LyraBalaqua @Bobtheknob and @Minky McMoneypenny for the nomination / mash up.
Your prize: you each get a Go Henry card. I hope you’re all children.

Recap of last thread

  1. She told the flipping burger story again and also a new one about her stalking a former manager. Let it GO, Jack.
  2. Needless to say, she had the last laugh and it was delicious (unlike her food).
  3. It’s a good thing she still has her mulberry bag, cos when she’s ‘tit poor’ she can carry her belongings around in it. Don’t think fifty Cotswold sideboards would fit in one smol bag.
  4. She needs help with music as she doesn’t know grime. She doesn’t want to be a tit.
  5. Go go Henry chaos!! What a Sunday. Silly.
  6. Never mind that, look at her 80% vegan lunch. Look at it. FORGET.
  7. She’s a member of a DIY Facebook group.
  8. Go Henry chose their side.
  9. [*]
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Satisfying Click said:
Thank(space)you @Pocahontas and all the fraus and courageous squiggles who made this full moon/waning gibbous so enthralling.

Odds on the book being completed by tomorrow?
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Assuming her agent takes Sunday off, she’s going to have a hell of a grunk through the chaoses ahead of her tomorrow. The status of the book may be the least of her problems 😂
 
SlopAmbsase said:
Dates? Can I give you a sultana, dried fruit is basically interchangeable right?
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Hope this works, I've never done a cross thread response before.
Hmmmm, well aslong as no tins are involved as I don't fancy being strung along. (Those tin can telephones are useless in my area, terrible signal.) So I'll happily go for a sultana, or a raisin. We could even rehydrate the raisin and then get drunk in celebration. Same as grapes to get wine really isn't it, plus one of our 5 a day 🤣
 
FeelingPrawny said:
Hope this works, I've never done a cross thread response before.
Hmmmm, well aslong as no tins are involved as I don't fancy being strung along. (How Those tin can telephones are useless in my area, terrible signal.) So I'll happily go for a sultana, or a raisin. We could even rehydrate the raisin and then get drunk in celebration 🤣
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How did you do this?
 
Evening all - on a permanent grunk but I thought I would just put a smol marker in the sand / ramen to say that as well as the book deadline coming up (tomorrow I guess), 31 March 2021 is also the filing deadline for her 2019/20 company accounts.

I am very much here for them when they arrive on Companies House, even though I am BUSY running my own smol company 'Bumbear Ltd' (which manages to file its accounts on time every year).

For any new frauen / herren who may not have been here last year, Jack filed last year's accounts 3 months late, there was a notice filed for a compulsory strike off, and there was rather a lot of money taken out of the business account, leaving her a bit short to pay her corporation tax.

Should you wish to read up on it, you can go to post 2 - 10 on my profile (I think it was thread 78) and see what's what...

Very much enjoyed today's take down...I was just reflecting back that we've only had 2 months of 2021 so far and how many things have happened in Jack-land????

Love to all.
 
Since I joined, I’ve been pondering a suitable picture for my user name. I repurposed some horse spunk, tea-stained some posh boiled eggs I found in a puddle and whipped this masterpiece up on the g(r)ifted sideboard I keep in the west wing. This’ll do!
 

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Oh my, this is just the thing I’ve grown to love/hate about our Jackie. In an alternative universe (let’s call it the universe without narc lies), she could now just be settling down for a lovely cosy Sunday eve with Mr/Mrs Jack (I’d usually be very sensitive about assuming heteronormative language but let’s face it, she’s not). She could be curled up on the non-hateful sofa, about to bang out some harmless non performative slop recipes for the blog or spend the evening gently, mindfully and slowly consuming a few volumes of Rebus. She could be having a long bath scrubbing herself down with some odd nutty jar peelings and bacon grease and not caring if anyone spots the Jo Malone candle in the corner.

The fact that she will spending the evening in a furious mix of indignant rage, panic over the manuscript that won’t finish itself and frantic refreshing of her Twitter feed to check the the squiqqs are still not sentient despite the mounting evidence is entirely her fault. Not ours, not Go Henry, not the teachers who failed to see her genius and not haterz of tats. All hers. The truth is just under the floorboards and it’s starting to stink.
 
Into_the_tunnel said:
How did you do this?
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I bunged it all in a curry obviously. (My auto🥕 wanted to change that to obituary, which I know I've said I'm dying of laughter but that's a whole other dish). 🤣
However actual answer, I was already typing a response before the thread closed, so copied it over here.... I shall now go sit in the naughty corner wearing the famous cat mask
 
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