Holly Gabrielle #5 Still lives like a nun, doesn't allow herself any fun

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Does anyone else find the wording of this a bit off? "I should've sorted it sooner" idk it sounds like she's talking about paying a late utility bill, not recovering from binge eating
It’s very Holly to say she’s ’sorted it’. It has shades of ‘the one act of going vegan cured my eating disorder (which I’ve never really admitted I had …)’
 
The fact that she says she's 'sorted it' makes me strongly believe that she has never recovered or even been in recovery, recovery from an ED is one of the hardest things you will ever do (see rorecovering on youtube for example) not something which is fixed in a matter of weeks...
 


Concerning her newly posted "recovered" before and after pic on Insta:
1. She's standing way closer on the after pic, which makes her appear bigger
2. Her posing is very different
3. The lighting is different
4. Her left arm somewhat "hides" her waist

It's also a little bit sad that she seems to be taking what might be described as body checking photo. What I see is a woman who has a very low body fat percentage, but who've might've gained a little bit of muscle mass (maybe). Some people are naturally slimmer than others and they should not be accused of having eating disorders, etc. But we know Holly has a very restrictive diet and she exercises alot, and goes on long walks every single day. Holly also appeared to have a bigger body fat percentage when she was 14 then she does now. The message on the post is nice, and I think it's somewhat sincere, but I'd rather she advise people to seek medical advice and help if they're battling an eating disorder or something to that effect. The "before" pic is also from 2016, which is a little bit strange, because I don't think she's ever admitted to having had an eating disorder or major body image issues back then. I think at the time, she still claimed that veganism had saved her from anorexia nervosa, or something along those lines. (But don't quote me on this.) I wish Holly would finally seek the medical care she needs.
 


Concerning her newly posted "recovered" before and after pic on Insta:
1. She's standing way closer on the after pic, which makes her appear bigger
2. Her posing is very different
3. The lighting is different
4. Her left arm somewhat "hides" her waist

It's also a little bit sad that she seems to be taking what might be described as body checking photo. What I see is a woman who has a very low body fat percentage, but who've might've gained a little bit of muscle mass (maybe). Some people are naturally slimmer than others and they should not be accused of having eating disorders, etc. But we know Holly has a very restrictive diet and she exercises alot, and goes on long walks every single day. Holly also appeared to have a bigger body fat percentage when she was 14 then she does now. The message on the post is nice, and I think it's somewhat sincere, but I'd rather she advise people to seek medical advice and help if they're battling an eating disorder or something to that effect. The "before" pic is also from 2016, which is a little bit strange, because I don't think she's ever admitted to having had an eating disorder or major body image issues back then. I think at the time, she still claimed that veganism had saved her from anorexia nervosa, or something along those lines. (But don't quote me on this.) I wish Holly would finally seek the medical care she needs.


i see hardly any difference.. she’s just got older.
Are we meant to look at this and think wow, recovered?
 
Oh man I really, really want to believe Holly - I really want to believe she's recovered. And I do get the vibe from her recent videos that she's WAY more self-aware and aware of her issues than she was two or three years ago. I really think she's moving in the right direction overall.

But I also don't believe she's quite there yet.. For starters, she was talking in her recent video about how she was still underweight and missing her period during her Cambridge time but she never told us anything about her mental state back then, really. It still seems like she has trouble admitting to herself that she felt bad/had mental health issues in the past, let alone now.

There's also the fact that everyone who follows Holly's channel will know that she's made SO MANY sit-down videos where she talks about how great she's feeling, how she finally has got everything 'sorted', how she has cured herself of all her former problems on her own, how happy she is, etc. But the thing is, she had videos like this a year ago, too, during a time where she apparently was in the depths of a serious binge eating problem, as she's told us now. She had videos like this during her Cambridge years, where she was actually really ill. She had a video like this in 2017-ish where she announced that she had cured her eating disorder, which we now know is not true. And etc. So I feel like we have to take Holly's current announcements of how great she's doing with a large helping of salt tbh.

Also, I never had an eating disorder myself but still, I don't think a fully recovered person would feel the urge to take underwear pics in weird poses to "prove" that they're recovered..

And man, I keep wondering whether she is seeing a therapist or not? Cause on the one hand, maybe that would explain why Holly is suddenly confronting her issues more and feeling better? But on the other hand she's very open about everything yet she never mentioned getting help so maybe not? I just hope she's not trying to do this recovery process completely alone and without professional support tbh.
 
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Interesting she finally says anorexia. Maybe this is the start of her accepting it? Both pics are body checking for sure and she has gained a little weight but she would be better off gaining more...
 
Until she accepts that she can be at peace with herself at whatever weight, she is not recovered.

Holly needs to understand that if she gains more weight from where she is at now she needs to be okay with that (and not go into another spiral!!!)

until I see her actually happy in herself and not basing her worth off a marathon,weight, or grades, I’m taking everything she says with a pinch of salt.
 
No, she’s still in complete denial and it’s disgusting that she continues to trigger people knowingly, she has a young impressionable audience. She dallies with the idea that she is recovered but there is not one gram of healthy fat on her, he face often looks drained, and she looks like a gust of wind could break her. There is no muscle definition either because despite all her exercise, she needs nourishment in order to build muscle and strength. She needs to get off youtube tbh and get help because she is very likely passing on bad ideas to others. Ruby Granger follows her and she’s now body checking, posting miniscule portions and over exercising as well. It’s sad.
 
I seriously doubt she had a “binge eating disorder”. I think she was starting to eat as much as normal people do and considered that indulging/binging and felt guilty about it and felt the need to restrict even further, which is quite worrying.
just felt like extreme hunger to me, that can happen when you eat even a tiny bit more
 
What bothers me so much its that she has been lying to her audience all the time and making money for that. Its like in the same level of hated that one can have about politics.
I don't think the way she is lying to her audience is in any way malicious, she just is in so much denial that she tells herself these lies to make herself feel better (and I'm sure her posting videos helps to cement these lies in her head), I personally can't feel hatred for her when she desperately needs help
 
I'm not really sure where I stand on the current debate vis a vis: showing your body in recovery (from self harm, an ED etc) on soshul meejuh. Ultimately I think it's the choice of the individual and can be a very brave thing in terms of self awareness but the body checking photos she's posting are really alarming/triggering to me. I'm older than Holly and am lucky in that I have resources I can access should I want or need them but I do worry quite a lot about her much younger audience who believe H is the queen of 'having it all'.
 
I'm not really sure where I stand on the current debate vis a vis: showing your body in recovery (from self harm, an ED etc) on soshul meejuh. Ultimately I think it's the choice of the individual and can be a very brave thing in terms of self awareness but the body checking photos she's posting are really alarming/triggering to me. I'm older than Holly and am lucky in that I have resources I can access should I want or need them but I do worry quite a lot about her much younger audience who believe H is the queen of 'having it all'.
This is why I think Holly is actually quite dangerous. The surface view of the things she’s done (like going to Cambridge) gives the impression to a lot of her audience that she’s someone to admire when in fact, if you look at her objectively she doesn’t have much beyond her disorder(s). She’s problematic because her previous and current academic background give her an air of legitimacy with her young audience when in fact what she publishes online is at best misleading and at worst, damaging. Someone like Ruby is just coming across as tragic now but Holly’s academic successes are something her audience admires and gives her influence with them. She uses making YouTube videos as therapy and constantly reframes her story for sympathy without really ever acknowledging the damage that the previous versions of her story have done. She obviously has a need to share something but she needs to be doing that privately, and not be fulfilling whatever need she has through getting praise from 14 years olds and the weirdos who care about her periods on YouTube.
 
Holly seems like one of those people who are incredibly book smart and academically intelligent but has no idea of how the real world actually works and what an appropriate balance in her life is. Similar to Ali Abdaal, they promote these unhealthy work ethics under the guise of having studied at the worlds most prestigious university, but their life tips are not something that should be integrated into your life. What is dangerous is if people start looking at these people as if they are role models.
 
I actually really liked Holly's new video - we've said it before that she probably still has some things to tackle (e.g. bone density) but I liked the topics she talked about and the eat with me format (a tad performative to some but still showing a good intention)

I find that she is approaching the whole ED in the completely opposite way of Ruby recently, where sure she isn't right/doing things perfectly understandably so bc recovery isn't easy!! but she is trying to be less in denial and open up about the realisations she's had so far.

Again, I wish her to take really good care and fuel more for her marathon, now that she seems more ready for this challenge
 
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