Holly Gabrielle #4 Any excuse to take her shirt off

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From what I remember, her parents' idea of dealing with her anorexia was to threaten her with not going to CB unless she got better so she just proceeded to become vegan and play pretend being cured so she would get to go. She hasn't stopped since.

Her entire reason for being vegan is so she can eat barely-any-calorie vegetables that take up space on the plate so she can show it as proof that she is eating "so much" while conveniently leaving out the fact that all of that adds up to one hamster meal.
She can count on people who don't understand calories to defend her in the comments bc her plates are ~so full~ omg, she must be Naturally Skinny if she easts so much, stop bullying her!
 
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space.cat said:
From what I remember, her parents' idea of dealing with her anorexia was to threaten her with not going to CB unless she got better so she just proceeded to become vegan and play pretend being cured so she would get to go. She hasn't stopped since.

Her entire reason for being vegan is so she can eat barely-any-calorie vegetables that take up space on the plate so she can show it as proof that she is eating "so much" while conveniently leaving out the fact that all of that adds up to one hamster meal.
She can count on people who don't understand calories to defend her in the comments bc her plates are ~so full~ omg, she must be Naturally Skinny if she easts so much, stop bullying her!
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her parents lack of action really beggars belief. 2 daughters from the same family got so thin as to miss their periods for years and the parents think becoming vegan to restrict food even more is a good idea 😶
 
emm said:
her parents lack of action really beggars belief. 2 daughters from the same family got so thin as to miss their periods for years and the parents think becoming vegan to restrict food even more is a good idea 😶
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I think this is part of the problem. The mum’s background is dance so long-term amenorrhea probably wasn’t something unusual to her but it’s incredibly irresponsible to let this go on for seven years and never seem to push Holly towards treatment or therapy. This is what confuses me about Holly’s stories, nothing really seems to make sense. Ultimately she can say what she wants and she has no duty to be honest but she’s what, 25? She’s saying that she’s had periods for a year but didn’t have them for seven years before that - so from 17? But then apparently she was so unwell before that age that her parents threatened to not let her go to uni? None of it adds up, but it does serve to highlight what a mess her body must be in by now and how dangerous the marathons training is.
 
CatCafe234 said:
I think this is part of the problem. The mum’s background is dance so long-term amenorrhea probably wasn’t something unusual to her but it’s incredibly irresponsible to let this go on for seven years and never seem to push Holly towards treatment or therapy. This is what confuses me about Holly’s stories, nothing really seems to make sense. Ultimately she can say what she wants and she has no duty to be honest but she’s what, 25? She’s saying that she’s had periods for a year but didn’t have them for seven years before that - so from 17? But then apparently she was so unwell before that age that her parents threatened to not let her go to uni? None of it adds up, but it does serve to highlight what a mess her body must be in by now and how dangerous the marathons training is.
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she's 23
 
Yeah woof that video. Just woof. Honestly it just made me so, so angry to hear what Holly went through apparently without any help from her supposedly oh-so-great-and-supportive parents. I mean what the actual duck?? At this point I just feel so sorry for Holly.

For starters, it sounds like Holly's mum never really explained much about periods to her. Because Holly explicitly mentions that she was super scared and confused when she got cramps during her period for the first time (when she was like 13-ish) - this means that noone ever told her about the side effects that can come with periods. And 13-year old Holly then felt like she had to hide that she was suffering from cramps, not tell anyone, not ask for help, and just 'power through' her school day in spite of the pain. I mean, there's something seriously messed up with this. And I don't blame Holly for this at all since she was a literal child at the time, but why wasn't her mum more supportive? Why didn't she explain these things to her daughter, and help her deal with it?

Honestly it's no wonder that teenage Holly was apparently so scared of her period, if she didn't get the information and support she needed. But God it's just sad to think about a kid so worried about "fulfilling expectations" (Holly's wording) that she sees her period as scary potential obstacle to a perfect dance performance. It's just. Not good, and it goes to show that Holly just didn't get the support she needed at home :/

But like others mentioned, the Big Obvious Glaring Issue is how Holly lost her period for SEVEN YEARS due to her eating disorder and her parents never once got her the professional help she clearly urgently needed?? I mean, for the first three years or so of this Holly was still a minor, living in her parents' house, under their care, and they apparently just ignored that she lost her period? Apart from everything else, this is shocking to me because you can lose your period for many reasons, some of them serious medical conditions, and also not having your period can have bad medical consequences in and of itself. Holly herself said that she "shudders to think" what her bone density must've been like during these years but then sort of shrugs it off in the video but like? Didn't her parents worry about her health at all??

And yes, apart from threatening her with not being allowed to go to Cambridge, I don't think Holly ever mentioned her parents doing anything in reaction to her severe eating disorder. (Like way to go, put yet more pressure on your daughter who is clearly under so much pressure already that she developed an ED as a maladjusted coping strategy! Such a good idea! Such great parenting!)

Also a big old WTF at that doctor at Cambridge who wanted to put Holly on the pill but apparently didn't inquire into the causes of her lack of hormones and her malnourishment/didn't try to get a psychologist involved. But also Holly shrugging it off by saying she "didn't want to go on the pill" - that's just weirdly reminiscent of Emily professing she "doesn't believe" in hormonal birth control. Maybe a family thing too? (Kinda weird, thinking the pill is harmful but apparently not thinking that having an untreated ED for seven years is harmful)

And Holly saying that she "didn't have time to think about" her missing period during her Cambridge years because she was too busy - that is a mental health red flag too, imho. In fact that whole video feels like one big red flag to me.

I just hope that Holly is seeing a therapist and simply doesn't mention it on camera (though why she would do that is beyond me, seeing how she shares literally every other intimate detail about her life). I just hope that she's finally getting help because oh boy does she need it. Honestly being left alone with an untreated serious mental health condition like that can be traumatizing in and of itself.

tl;dr Just me ranting about Holly's parents for a bit because holy hell they sure didn't handle Holly's ED well. Neglect can take many forms. :/
 
teflonpanda said:
Also a big old WTF at that doctor at Cambridge who wanted to put Holly on the pill but apparently didn't inquire into the causes of her lack of hormones and her malnourishment/didn't try to get a psychologist involved
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well to be fair we don't know what that doctor might have told Holly. i get the impression, also from that period talk video, that she feels very uncomfortable talking about her eating disorder, so i don't believe she would have mentioned that.
 
To be fair we don't know whether Holly's parents knew that she didn't have a period. If I lost my period whilst I was at University my mum would've had absolutely no way of knowing unless I told her and I've never talked about periods with my dad in my life. She could've pretended all was fine / it just never came up in conversation. A lot of people don't talk about periods with their parents. There isn't really need to once you're past the stage of periods being new to you.
 
Hockeyplayer16 said:
To be fair we don't know whether Holly's parents knew that she didn't have a period. If I lost my period whilst I was at University my mum would've had absolutely no way of knowing unless I told her and I've never talked about periods with my dad in my life. She could've pretended all was fine / it just never came up in conversation. A lot of people don't talk about periods with their parents. There isn't really need to once you're past the stage of periods being new to you.
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Oh interesting, that didn't even occur to me - but a fair point when it comes to Holly's time at uni, I guess (now I wonder if that might be the real reason why Holly never mentioned her period on her channel before?). Though I was thinking more about the years before, when Holly was like 15 - 18 and still living at home - I just assumed her family would somehow notice that Holly never got her period? Or at the very least Holly's doctor/gynecologist should have noticed sth was wrong?

Idk maybe I'm just naive/sheltered but I can't imagine losing my period for years as a teenager and never once confiding in someone. Like if her family really didn't know, how isolating must that've been? Now I feel even more sad for Holly :/
 
Are we meant to be able to see a difference here?

Genuinely, I cannot see any difference at all?


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teflonpanda said:
Oh interesting, that didn't even occur to me - but a fair point when it comes to Holly's time at uni, I guess (now I wonder if that might be the real reason why Holly never mentioned her period on her channel before?). Though I was thinking more about the years before, when Holly was like 15 - 18 and still living at home - I just assumed her family would somehow notice that Holly never got her period? Or at the very least Holly's doctor/gynecologist should have noticed sth was wrong?

Idk maybe I'm just naive/sheltered but I can't imagine losing my period for years as a teenager and never once confiding in someone. Like if her family really didn't know, how isolating must that've been? Now I feel even more sad for Holly :/
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I thought this, obviously I don;t know how they organised things in their family, but when I was at home before uni (with a sister a bit younger than me) my mum bought us sanitary products when she did the weekly shop when she got toothpaste etc for the family, I think she probably would have noticed if I (and my sister) never used them?
That said who knows, also at that age do people go to a gynocologist? I think I first went mid 20s and (even now) almost never go to a doctor so they wouldn't have noticed.I really feel bad for both her and her sister, the family dynamic is so odd
 
sharktheguineapig said:
We may get referred to a gynecologist if we are having any issues but we don't have check ups with them like they do in the US and some other countries. The vast majority of women in the UK will probably never see a gynecologist. Smear test and contraception are all dealt with by GPs/nurses.
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this honestly makes me feel weird... I've mentioned it before but it made me feel uneasy and not taken care of when I was in the UK... do those living in the UK feel it affects how gyno-related issues are treated? like do you think rates would be lower if those appointments were mandatory/strongly recommended?

nissigossips said:
Are we meant to be able to see a difference here?

Genuinely, I cannot see any difference at all?


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I only see a difference in her face and a tiny bit in her hips so yeah I can see she's working on it, but not recovered (she can do it though! really don't want my post to be fatalist and discourage her)
 
treasuredintention said:
this honestly makes me feel weird... I've mentioned it before but it made me feel uneasy and not taken care of when I was in the UK... do those living in the UK feel it affects how gyno-related issues are treated? like do you think rates would be lower if those appointments were mandatory/strongly recommended?
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I'm in Australia and it's a similar story. I turned 25 last year so had my first smear with my GP but honestly can't think of any other gyno-related issues I'd have. Fyi I got a letter from the department of health telling me that I was 25 and should book a test so I'm not sure you can get more mandatory/ recommended by that.

I do see an endo-gyno every year because funnily enough I'm missing two hormones that caused a lack of estrogen meaning I have low bone density (take it from me Holly you don't want the tit I've gone through!). I assume if I ever had any concerns about gyno related issues I'd talk to my GP first and they could refer me on to a specialist as required.

I'm not sure if you're from the US but the cynic in me says gynos are used there more because they're more expensive and yay capitalism. Literally every part of their medical system seems like a giant cash grab hahaha. For the above (including ultrasounds, bone density scans, blood tests etc etc) as well as surgery on a broken bone this year I literally haven't paid a cent.
 
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