Harry and Meghan #14 Meghan Markle & her half-wit prince

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Harry and Meghan are home in LA.

Harry:"megsie wegsie who are you facetiming? We need to get Archiedoll back from those pesky Russians "

Meghan: "my lovely new friend King Al Saud (blows kiss at screen) he's invited me to save the sand cats, ahhh they're so cute. I'm only going to save cute animals from now on"

Harry:"that reminds me Archie may be holed up with Merkel's cat. Still its character building stuff not seeing your parents. The experience will toughen him up. It did wonders for me"

Meghan: "I know Honey I've forgotten what my pappy looks like" (makes puppy eyes)

Harry conference calls Boris and Merkel

Merkel: "Fritz, Fritz where are you? mummy has some lovely big juicy sausages"

Harry:" okay yah so don't worry but Putin has Archie and Merkel's cat"

Merkel:"fritz cannot live on Russian sausages they are foul"

Boris: (coughs) "well I've forgotten how many children I have, losing one shouldn't be too much of a problem"

Harry (stamps foot) "if you don't reinstate my security I'll scream"

Boris:"steady on old chap I'm calling Putin now"

Harry:" what are you doing now Megsie Wegsie?"

Meghan: "I'm busy trolling Kate and buying shoes"

Putin:"greetings comrades. How can I help your puny little country?"

Boris :"look here old sport we need Archiedoll returned"

Putin:" Prince Archie is safe and well entertaining my troops"

Harry: "he's NOT a Prince"

Putin: "NOT a prince (calls to aide) put him in the stable with the cat"

Call ends abruptly.

Harry:"well that went well....I think? I'm going to hire Greta as our head of security. She's got more balls than the rest of them, she'll know how to save Archie"

To be continued.....
 
freda19 said:
Who thinks Trudeau warned them he was about to close the borders? Insider info.
I don't think they planned to flit to LA so soon but Trudeau closing the borders forced their hand.
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I think Meghan went straight to LA after the commonwealth service, and that JM had already taken Archie there, while they were both in the uk, doing the farewell thing. Reports from Vancouver were already stating that all the privacy screens had been removed by then.
 
Mycuppatea said:
The thing I objected to about Meghan when I first heard about her was her being a divorced American and an actress, because it really seemed as if he'd tried to get engaged to exactly the sort of woman who'd already come close to destroying the royal family. I don't honestly know if Harry is capable of planning something like that to show his contempt for his family, because he seems pretty limited intellectually, but it felt as if the RF and the country actually saying "come on, let's be nice and welcoming" was never going to make a difference because the two of them had already decided on the script.
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BIB, agree - not planning as such, more that it's his first/gut reaction, coming from inner emotions rather than any sort of logic.
( Like mum)
Teenagerish. They do say that you can, without help, get stuck at the age when you suffered a trauma. Sad.
 
Final installment

Harry rolls a spliff and calls Greta

Harry:"hey Greta wassup babes?"

Greta:"arse faced oxygen thief I spit herring at you"

Harry:"look babes I need your help Archiedoll has been kidnapped by Putin"

Greta:"why should I care cocksucker. How many animals have you saved today?"

Harry:" we got another 3 dogs from the shelter yesterday. How many have we got now Megsie?

Meghan:"about 12 I think. This one matches my new shoes and handbag. He'll look great in photos"(takes selfie).

Harry:" I've stolen Trumps batteries and he's floating in the pool now.... listen"

Trump:"it's a beautiful thing..... its a beautiful thing..."

Greta:"okay I will travel to Russia on the back of a humpback whale and will kick cocksucker Putin in the balls. I should be back by Xmas."

Call ends

Meghan :"I'm gonna get my new doggie a diamond collar and a pair of little Laboutins. The other one will have a Givenchy coat, sunglasses and an emerald tiara. What do you think H?

Harry:"woohoo we won't have to worry about Archie til Xmas, we can just pretend that we are protecting him from the paps."

Meghan:"we'll dress up one of the dogs, nobody will know the difference hun"
 
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Onthehop said:
So Donald Trump has just tweeted that the USA will not be paying for their security 😆
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This from CDAN:

For the time being there are about ten-fifteen Secret Service agents who were pulled from bank crimes and other investigations to help protect the former actress and her celebrity husband. The number will probably go down as the rotation process for their permanent security can begin again. Currently that team is frozen in place and won't be able to do their normal two week rotations back home. Also supplementing are county law enforcement personnel. The US is picking up the bill for about 70% of the $20K a day cost which will go higher once everyone starts moving around again.
 
Possibly the one thing I’ll ever agree with Trump on!
 

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