In tribute to
@antisocialmedia and all those who have provided a funny place to get it off our chests:
One hundred threads trace tales of shocking conflict
‘Twixt dedicated royal service for the public good
And greedy grifters who set out to profit
From royal status and their dubious victimhood.
Our younger generation just says “Be kind”
And judges who is kindest on self-serving PR guff
To idolise an ancient, lying slapper would never cross our minds
When we were cool, young rebels with pins to prick the puff,
But if you’re not on message now, you deserve to be strung up.
Lacking in humility, Hazza thought he should be King
He’s always been a stupid bigot, no leader but easily led
Now guided by a vulgar wife who’s far too fond of bling
His liking for roast chicken ruling o’er his head.
Haunted by misinformation and the clicking of the camera
He felt trapped, as whispered in his ear throughout the night
She expected adulation and wished for far more glamour
The ridicule and challenge to her lies gave her a fright.
Time to escape to Hollywood, like ghosts into the night.
So now he lives upon a bench at Castle Monteshito
He’s down to his last millions and his wife is out to lunch
They tell us that we’ve lost so much; we don’t give a
tit though.
Their hypocrisy grates and their noses cry out for a punch.
The calculated mystery is boring, ask us if we give a damn
Is Archie real or is he fake, who really gives a toss?
Lies and betrayal on Oprah confirm it's all sham
Tthere is no way back, try as they might to gloss
Their traitorous “mistakes”; they are just LA Candy Floss
Recollections may vary; ain’t that the truth?
But at least we see now that modern monarchy is here
And we will fight for it with claw and tooth
We only ask that penalty for treason should be more severe.
Rejoice in our Queen, and William and Catherine
Their dignity, good sense and dedication
Even Charles and Camilla deserve a look in
For they are all more capable of representing our nation
Than that pair from Monteshito, toxic as radiation.