Gabriella Lindley #64 Salt

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It's funny because we have plenty documented evidence of how up someone's arse she is when she likes them as just a friend, let alone lover.

And her saying she'd want separate houses isn't too uncommon. I've seen people say they'd want separate rooms.

What is weird, is her saying it with virtually no experience of what it's like to be in a long term relationship where it might be overbearing at times (though, if you date someone you like I'm not sure why).

She's saying it based on her current isolated existence. She might meet someone just like her who'll want to spend all day watching friends and having lasagne baths together.
 
She’s assuming, because she’s so self centred and inexperienced, that the person she was living with would also spend all day in the house, glued to the sofa not doing anything or seeing anyone else, when the reality is, of course, that people who live together usually go out to work, see friends etc and actually look forward to coming home to spend time with their partner.
 
Why is she saying most relationships end because people live together? That is absolutely not true 😭 it really shows her lack of experience as she’s talking about things so trivial and irrelevant to what a relationship actually is. Relationships don’t break down because someone is messy and someone is tidy, yes it may cause disagreements but you work through it and communicate your needs etc. Also her parents marriage broke down yet years and years later they still live together lol. Also her talking about living in each other’s pockets is interesting because the majority of people go out to work a 9-5, have hobbies and see friends, they are not together 24/7!
 
She really is so stunted. Certain aspects I can relate (I use that term lightly) to. When I turned 18 I decided I was mature and liked older guys, met someone and we were together for maybe 6 months it was so full on at the beginning and within 6 months I decided I wasn’t ready for the level of commitment he was I wanted to be out partying and he wanted to settle down and buy a house. I had zero compromise in me, difference is nearly 10 years on I have grown up! I am still single, and for a long time was super anti relationships etc etc but it’s amazing what ‘inner healing’ can do. All the problems I found with relationships and men were me problems, not them problems. She needs to really look at herself and decide what she wants her life to be. Wanna be miserable forever Gobs? Continue as you are!
 
I just find it so sad that that is her view on relationships. And it all stems from her - it comes from a place of bitter jealousy and resentment of others who get to experience it. A relationship is such a beautiful thing and to love and be loved in that capacity is so fulfilling. To be able to trust someone and them know all of you, every part and every thought and to still love you is the most rewarding and intimate thing and it’s so sad that she can’t see that because this life she has created for herself is so void of anything fulfilling that she has become so bitter and hateful to any kind of happiness other people feel and immediately finds the bad in it. She tells herself she doesn’t want a relationship because they all end and they’re so bad and you argue and hate the person when actually I bet all she wants is someone to love her for who she is
 
disneys said:
She’s bizarre .. claims she wants kids more than anything , yet wouldn’t live with their dad even if they were together , even married ?! …. What even !!
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She was crying over the wrong color grout, there is NO way she'd handle having a child on her own. Especially if she was a "single" mom (since she thinks she'll just have dad live in a separate place.)

I agree with the pp who said red flag territory. Not a therapist but the replies are giving me more than emotionally stunted vibes, they're giving me she really needs to go to therapy vibes.
 
I really wish she'd wearing this transparent armour of I'M SO INDEPENDENT I DON'T NEED ANYONE I CAN DO IT ALL MYSELF.

Though it's more likely she is just defensive and bitter, I wonder if she actually wants a relationship at all? Like she's not ready to admit to herself that she is asexual and aromantic. Though if that's the case, I think she'd actually get lots of views on her journey of discovery.
 
November_again said:
No words
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In some way, I have a little experience with what she’s describing here. I think after having been independent and self sufficient so long, the idea of being with someone and even wanting someone by your side can seem like a sign of weakness. I used to think that way after an unsavory experience I had when I was a child that I helped myself out of when I realised no one would rescue me, and I’m still recovering and working myself out of the mindset. it’s normal for people to want someone. Nothing weak about it.
 
I know it’s been posted but I honestly can’t believe this. Imagine having a partner that’s more untidy and instead of having an adult conversation with the person you love she would probably end the relationship. Definitely not the type of person that can compromise or hold up a relationship.

How is she ever going to have these kids she wants? How is any potential partner going to put up with this? You’d think she was 60 years old!
 

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