Estee Lalonde #9 Hen Solo - May the Farce by With You - if it's still on...

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Rosie34567-2 said:
I think this was planned wayyy before the breakup.

Also, in my opinion, I think Estee would've been a bad friend if she didn't attend the wedding. Especially since she had already rsvp'd at that point. This wasn't a casual hangout, it was her best friend's sister's wedding. Sometimes you just need to suck it up, put your own emotions aside, and be there for other people.
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Oh okay. I got the sense from some commenters here that it was a last minute “pity” invite from Amelia to cheer Estee up!
 
queenamber said:
Maybe I’m just romanticizing the past but what I find even more sad about this is that, if she could let go of her weird complex about marriage and engagements, she might still be in a happy long term relationship with Aslan. The marriage industrial complex really does a number on so many women. Sad :(
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I don’t think it’s fair calling the desire to be married “a weird complex”. If that’s what you want, you shouldn’t settle for anything less. I get how Estee linking being engaged with being chosen/healing childhood trauma is weird - but I applaud her for not sticking around for a man who didn’t want to marry her when that’s what she wanted.
 
I feel like in Estee's case the pursuit of marriage was greater than nurturing and developing a relationship with another person, knowing what you want is one thing but WHY you want it can come from other places, like @queenamber said.

The guy should have said no, if that's how he really felt, instead she wasted a year planning a wedding that wasn't going to happen due to whatever happened... I mean imagine if HE gave her an ultimatum, stop asking for a proposal or I'm walking away from you and the dog, she'd flip and dump him in a second.
 
doodlebug said:
I don’t think it’s fair calling the desire to be married “a weird complex”. If that’s what you want, you shouldn’t settle for anything less. I get how Estee linking being engaged with being chosen/healing childhood trauma is weird - but I applaud her for not sticking around for a man who didn’t want to marry her when that’s what she wanted.
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I do agree with you in principle and this is what I would also advise my friends, especially when I was younger. However in Estée’s case, I’m not sure I agree. Aslan showed her true commitment in a lot of different ways, they lived together in his house, he financed their lifestyle and supported her career, appeared in vlogs, got a dog with her, helped her with her visa application, (presumably) helped her buy a flat and invested in her company. I’m sure they truly loved each other and were in a healthy, equal partnership. I get being married is important to some people, it is to me as well, but I wonder what Estée’s reasoning behind it is. She is not very religious or traditional (as she lived with him before marriage and crossed an ocean to be with him on a whim), so what is it? Does she only feel validated or secure when a man proposes to her? Because in my opinion everything Aslan did should have validated the relationship more than enough, he really loved her. I think not aligning on having kids for example is definitely a reason for leaving a relationship because this shows a disconnect in core values and future vision, but if him not wanting to get married is the only reason she left I think she made a big mistake…
 
Bonjour92 said:
I do agree with you in principle and this is what I would also advise my friends, especially when I was younger. However in Estée’s case, I’m not sure I agree. Aslan showed her true commitment in a lot of different ways, they lived together in his house, he financed their lifestyle and supported her career, appeared in vlogs, got a dog with her, helped her with her visa application, (presumably) helped her buy a flat and invested in her company. I’m sure they truly loved each other and were in a healthy, equal partnership. I get being married is important to some people, it is to me as well, but I wonder what Estée’s reasoning behind it is. She is not very religious or traditional (as she lived with him before marriage and crossed an ocean to be with him on a whim), so what is it? Does she only feel validated or secure when a man proposes to her? Because in my opinion everything Aslan did should have validated the relationship more than enough, he really loved her. I think not aligning on having kids for example is definitely a reason for leaving a relationship because this shows a disconnect in core values and future vision, but if him not wanting to get married is the only reason she left I think she made a big mistake…
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She doesn't know what she wants. Her bucket list consists of things she sees other people do. She herself said she's wanted to get engaged/married ever since she was a child (Maybe she wants the fairy tale story she saw in the movies). Nothing is wrong with all of that, except when you want to do things that involve other human beings (get engaged/married, have a baby), you need to be ready and well-equipped - mentally and emotionally. She needs to work on herself before taking on these "responsibilities." She can't just wing it (although I am sure many people do). Here she is, stressing out over things like packing for a trip, no tea kettle in the hotel room, her dress not fitting right. How is she going to handle the stress of working on a marriage, learning how to compromise, etc; not to mention being there for a needy baby who needs 100% of your care and attention, 24/7? The world does not revolve around her and yet she thinks placing people (a fiance, a husband, an offspring) in her life will fill a deep hole in her soul.

She should do an updated tiktok: "Why ultimatums don't work."
 
Bonjour92 said:
I do agree with you in principle and this is what I would also advise my friends, especially when I was younger. However in Estée’s case, I’m not sure I agree. Aslan showed her true commitment in a lot of different ways, they lived together in his house, he financed their lifestyle and supported her career, appeared in vlogs, got a dog with her, helped her with her visa application, (presumably) helped her buy a flat and invested in her company. I’m sure they truly loved each other and were in a healthy, equal partnership. I get being married is important to some people, it is to me as well, but I wonder what Estée’s reasoning behind it is. She is not very religious or traditional (as she lived with him before marriage and crossed an ocean to be with him on a whim), so what is it? Does she only feel validated or secure when a man proposes to her? Because in my opinion everything Aslan did should have validated the relationship more than enough, he really loved her. I think not aligning on having kids for example is definitely a reason for leaving a relationship because this shows a disconnect in core values and future vision, but if him not wanting to get married is the only reason she left I think she made a big mistake…
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But if he did all those things then why wouldn't he want to actually marry her? Maybe he loved her but just not enough to marry her, he will marry the one woman he wants to pretty quickly I'm sure.
Marriage is important to Estee for whatever reason, he knew that and didn't care enough to publicly claim her.
 
Swipeupyouguys said:
But if he did all those things then why wouldn't he want to actually marry her? Maybe he loved her but just not enough to marry her, he will marry the one woman he wants to pretty quickly I'm sure.
Marriage is important to Estee for whatever reason, he knew that and didn't care enough to publicly claim her.
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You seem to assume that everyone actually wants to get married…some people just don’t. Also, how did he not publicly claim her? For the record I am married with kids but I don’t assume everyone wants the same as me
 
Swipeupyouguys said:
But if he did all those things then why wouldn't he want to actually marry her? Maybe he loved her but just not enough to marry her, he will marry the one woman he wants to pretty quickly I'm sure.
Marriage is important to Estee for whatever reason, he knew that and didn't care enough to publicly claim her.
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I feel like it was just to protect his family’s wealth - I’ve read that prenuptial agreements are not really enforceable in the UK.
 
It might just have been easier to agree to marry her in that moment than to have another argument about it. Regardless of whether I like Estee or not, he’d be a prick for leading her on.
 
Bonjour92 said:
You seem to assume that everyone actually wants to get married…some people just don’t. Also, how did he not publicly claim her? For the record I am married with kids but I don’t assume everyone wants the same as me
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SpanishPink said:
Is marriage the absolute guarantee/proof of love?
When a married man cheats on his wife, is she more loved than an unmarried woman in a very fulfilling relationship?
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Sorry 🤍 should have been clearer, I meant Estee really really wants to be married, to be publicly claimed. She went on in her videos about wanting to be chosen, to finally be the one chosen by a man etc.

Aslan (in the old videos) said no marriage for him until a certain age etc, so i concluded he wanted to be married too.

I was only musing about marriage for those two, not everyone wants marriage and clearly many women are sensible to avoid it, studies continually show unmarried women are usually happier and live longer than married women.
 
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